It's been enough
 

Sitting here drunk. Broke, all my money was spent on beer, once again. How do I get out of this?

I'll have a difficult time to pay for food this month. Part of me tells me to just drink some beer to soothe the hunger. But that's nonsense.

Tomorrow I want things to be different. Problem is, the financial problems I'll wake up to will cause a lot of anxiety. Anxiety I've now gotten rid of with beer. And I fear that tomorrow I will do the same.

What can I do?

Michael- the first step you made was joining SR and that's great :) I am sorry you are in such emotional pain, but this will get better if you focus on sobriety. Get to an AA meeting as soon as you can, they're free. The people there can help you tremendously. I have been sober for 20 days and the first week was the hardest, and although I have a long way to go I feel the best I have felt in years. You can do this. We are here to support you!

Tough spot. I think a lot of us have been there - I remember scrounging out change from my couch cushions to buy vodka back near the end of my drinking days.

I bet it's really hard for you to see a way out: and I don't blame you. The reason many sober alcoholics guard their sobriety so fiercely is because they went through some tough times to get better. Asking for help is a hard thing to do - you've made the first step by posting here. The next step might be asking a doctor (I know they cost $$$) or even a local AA group for advice. It's really hard to see, but if you can somehow stay sober tomorrow, you'll be one step closer to getting out of this hell hole. Ask yourself: how can you make that happen?

I know it'll be difficult but at this point less difficult than keeping up this habit. I feel like crap most of the time, except when I drink. It needs to stop. I want to be healthy.

at inch at a time Michael :)
Stop drinking, don't buy anymore.

If you need food hit a foodbank or use food stamps if you're eligible.

Do something concrete for your recovery too - joining here is good...but do you need more support?

seeing your Dr or a counsellor? AA or some other recovery group? inpatient or outpatient rehab?

Some of us dug ourselves some deep holes with our addiction - I did....but inch by inch I got to climb up and feel the sun again.

You can too :)

D

You can start now Michael. Pour out the rest and drink some water then call it a night...

We'll be here in the morning to support you as you move forward.

Start by stopping drinking. Get rid of whatever you still have and don't get anymore. Asking a doctor for help to get thru withdrawals is a good idea. If you have any problems detoxing, get to an ER pronto.

I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good. It's certainly helped me. :)

To all: thanks. I just had my last one. It was difficult to get through in between the hiccups... Tomorrow I'll see. My priority is to get some food. And rest.

Good plan ^^^^^^ Michael

I hope you'll keep posting Michael - you're among friends who care. Be proud of yourself for making this life changing decision. We know you can do it.

Welcome to SR!

There's a way out of that prison cell you're in. Come back when you can and we'll help you escape. :ring

Welcome to SR Michael hope you had a good rest

you got tons of support here bud

Welcome Michael, glad you found us. How are you today ?

I'm drinking again today. :( Didn't want to but had to, if that makes sense. I was hung over and would usually stay in bed. But the desire to drink made me get out of bed, put on some clothes and without even brushing my teeth go to the store to get beer. I didn't even feel the hangover because I was so focused on drinking.

Where do I start? What should I do?

Now it makes sense.

I understand the compulsion to drink isn't a choice. The action to drink is definitely a choice. You have a say in whether or not you'll beat your addiction.

You have the only say.

My words may seem harsh, but you asked what you should do. I suggest you start being honest about what is happening in your life. You are not a passive player in your condition. Beer didn't happen to you today. You chose it. You can unchoose it.

I know you're right. I just rationalize it. Today I told myself that one more time won't hurt. Which it does of course. I couldn't eat again today because I spent my money on beer. But then there's this voice that says that in the long run it won't matter. And that one more time is needed to get to the point of quitting.

It's all nonsense, I see that.

How does one not give in to the compulsion to drink? It's a pure obsession.

Chuck out any remaining alcohol

Attend a AA meeting today & tonight

Michael you didnt have to drink it doesnt make sense but i remember the days when it did

Do you want to be sober Michael

Yes, but I can't. I can't quit today. I don't know why, but I'm stuck in this obsessive thing where I HAVE to drink today and quit tomorrow or else I'll never be sober because I didn't give it closure. It's not rational, but feelings aren't rational. I know better but I just cannot fight it.

Get a recovery plan and start working on you attend meetings start reading

Reassure yourself that its the AV and you can tell it where to go

you can reach out 24h a day always get a 2nd opinion compared to what you done (no offence meant)

play a mental video tape of yourself drinking all the way to the point you want to quit

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Welcome to SR, Michael.

The cycle of drinking/addiction needs to be broken. Begin by pouring out whatever beer you have left and rehydrate with water.

Sustenance is important. It is hard to think clearly if you are hungry. Food banks and food kitchen/soup kitchens can satisfy your need for meals. Google search "food kitchens or food banks" and the name of your state and town.

Find treatment for your addiction - your doctor, a therapist, AA - and give it all you've got.

We are here for you, Michael, and solidly in your corner.