New and ready to stop for good.
 

To begin, I am an alcoholic and this is my first forum post. I first realized that I'm an alcoholic a couple years ago when realized that there hadn't been a day I was sober for over a year. The bad things that happened to me; loss of a job, friends not talking to me anymore, DUI, I had attributed to bad luck and other such rationalizations. It wasn't until I did some deep thinking that I knew it was my lack of sobriety that was the cause to the problems and my unwillingness to stop drinking. Upon this realization I knew I had a problem, and that I am an alcoholic. I decided at that time that I would make an effort to stop drinking, on my own, and things would be better. I couldn't have been more wrong. I found that I couldn't go much more that a couple days without having a drink, and when I had that drink I would have a few more. I would continue having a few more until I was passed out. This continued until about this time last year when, once again, I said I was going to stop. I went to a couple AA meetings and found that it was good to see that out of all the different lifestyles, we all had the same pattern. However, I felt extremely uncomfortable at these meetings and stopped going. Since then, I manage to go two or three weeks without drinking at a time. But at the end of two or three weeks I somehow find the rationalization that it's alright to have a drink once and a while. Then I buy a bottle of liquor and drain the entire bottle, stumble to the store and buy one more bottle. I continue drinking until I pass out, wake up and drink some more. I binge drink until the point that I shouldn't be moving or dead. In the last two months I've done this three times, the last time was four days ago and I'm still recovering from the effects. Of course, after each time I vow never again to drink but after a couple weeks sober I find a reason to do it again. I'm afraid the next time may be my last. I want to stop, I don't want to keep putting my family through my idiotic binges, I need help. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Welcome, Jayman!

I found that I had to do some uncomfortable things to stay sober. In a way, the discomforts were a distraction from my cravings for alcohol. After two years, I am still sober and still uncomfortable going to AA meetings. So I volunteered to be secretary for a meeting--that way I am forced to go and participate!

Welcome, jayman, to SR. This is a great place for support, understanding and encouragement.

Welcome Jayman. Your story is a familiar one, most of us have been there at one point. Recognizing the problem is a big step, congrats on doing so. Do you think you might try AA again this time around? Or perhaps something different? Reaching true sobriety is going to mean doing things you are not comfortable with, and things that you wont' like, no matter what path you choose. SR can be invaluable in helping you learn about various methods as well as being a very key support piece in itself. Hope you will stick around for a while!

Welcome Jayman

Thank you for the replies. I would like to try AA again to be very honest, despite being uncomfortable or anxious around people I don't know. Anything to help keep me from rationalizing another drink and keeping me on the right path. I'm not sure what other methods besides therapy or prescriptions from doctors there are. Aside from this forum of course.

Welcome to SR Jayman

One alternative to AA is Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy, or AVRT. You can find more information about it in the Secular Connections section of this forum, and there is a good "Crash Course" that you can find on-line.

Here is a discussion of AVRT versus AA: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5071557

Welcome to SR! members here are using a variety of programs, methods, or techniques to live happy sober lives. If you are interested in exploring options you can read around the various forums here. I learned quite a lot that way.

best of Luck on this Journey! :ring

Welcome to the Forum!! :wave:

Welcome Jayman :)

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players in recovery groups, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

Good to have you here :)

D

At least you know you can make it a few weeks. That a darn good start. You need to identify your triggers that make you drink after those few weeks of being sober, and help eliminate them. I think is where talking to someone really helps... I talked to someone during my last sober time period, and then I decided I didnt need to talk anymore and then I started to drink... Bah. So I know this time I need to keep talking to someone... keep up that conversation and self examination and have someone else help me through this instead of drifting through the night going wherever the wind took me. It is time for me to decide where to go, and not at night but deciding where to go with the brightness of day to help me through it. I hope some of that made sense, or helps you get on with your journey.