Please don't beat yourself up. The more you do that the more you are going to let your problems control you. It's funny but it just tells your AV that you are on the ropes and it's thinking IGYNYSOB! It's not a bad thing to be stubborn, but your need to be stubborn on getting the help and using the help to it's fullest. It'll get better and we're pulling for you

No bashing here, glad you're back!

I am certainly new to this thing called soberity. One thing that was hard for me was realizing that "I will never enjoy a cold beer or a good wiskey again" I must say that I cried like a baby. Like I had lost my best friend. Then I started to think that the words CAN'T, NEVER, ETC. was the problem and were largely not part of my vocabulary to begin with . I certainly can drink. I had not lost my best friend. He was right around the corner. I am just choosing not to visit him. Or at least not visit him today. This thought process is working for me. At least for now.

Sorry, only support here. Get back on the horse.

Hey patman. You got my support bud. I'm in early sobriety myself. There is a dangerous thought in my head thinking I can drink again one day and it will be different. I know it will not deep down. I have a wedding to go to and vacation in the summer and my av is telling me I could drink on vacations. But even if I just drank on vacation it would still be way over the top and literally anything could happen to me after that first drink. My brain has changed too much. Not that I ever drank moderately to begin with. The first time I drank I was 13 and still over did it and wound up with alcohol poisoning. Sorry for ranting. You can do this. Battle lost but the war is still raging. Get back in the fight

Welcome back Pat...you know what to do, we've got your back.

http://optimalhumanmodulation.files....yoda-gif-1.gif





You've got this, my friend.

Yes, TPM, you need to slow down. Everyone in early recovery is in a hurry to get to a better place, and when that doesn't happen, we're right back where we started. Or worse.

You cannot get sobriety slowly enough.

"It's not the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe".

Time to shake that grain of sand from your shoe.

No bashing from me, either, Patman.

You can do this, Patman. You have done it before; you need to add 'acceptance' and 'finality' to your plan. Accept that alcohol has nothing good to offer you. Accept that moderation is not possible. Make it final.

Rooting for you, my friend.

P.S. - I am so sorry that your heart is hurting.

A child in a man's body....

Wanting this to be fixed, healed right away...

Boy can I relate to those.

The ups and downs and the confusion of sobriety can sometimes really be rough.

Today I'm plagued with glum.... Don't know why. It's a beautiful day and I have many blessings.... But I'm totally bummed out.

I'm not gonna drink over it though. I'm gonna go for a ski, get some fresh air and sunshine, do some chores, some meditation, some project work and maybe some writing.

I know that this will pass and that life is Far better sober. Sometimes we just have to roll with the tough stuff.

I feel for you and I hope you will take action today to re-center yourself on the path of sobriety.

No Bashing from this diseased Alcoholic in Recovery.

"Acceptance is the answer to all my problems...."

You are on the right path, and acknowledging you are indeed an addict and willing is the first step down the path

Hang In Here, One Day At A Time.

hey bro...just my two cents...you still have a huge chance no matter how hard it seems...im 38 and can never be the same again...lung problems...no more girlfriends...no more closeness...don't even want friends cause i may give them cooties...if i could turn back the clock ...i never wanted to do 90 days cause i wanted to beliueve in me, but the truth is because of our past, emotions, and a slew of other things about our uniqueness ...lots of us may not have a fair fight on our hands and we may need help...if you really meant it, and before you have nothing left but people to nsave and crying to look forward to, i woulkd suggest 90 days at least impatient, then sober living until you know your demon is blacked out...please know your worth it...it is hell out here, and if it eats you, and youre still left living...regret is hell too...just amplified and now hurting too bad to want ton stay forever...getting f@##ed up may be fun, but it could definately be considerred disrespectful if you believe in why your here, wouldn't be an appropriate thank you, and there are emotions out here that take way more than anyone ever bargained to give...believe in you...one of our potentially favorite characters...and come back as someone who doesn't stand for that shite...someone who won that fight and can be proud and shine beautifully with us as your true self...and please believe your good enough...we are truly all created equal and i believe in our purpose...addiction is a lie. it is killing or alterring and possibly damaging past the poin t oif recovery your one chance on earth and is damgerous to your mind, body, spirit, and if we continue past this in any way, can only be regret...

So much about your post I liked adventist....except that ^^^^^^^

WTF???

Yeah, that made me sad, too, Nuu.

Hang in there, Patman.:ring

Might as well have a laugh. Not feeling great, but I am alive.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7qi8c7r1Pgs

You know it will get better.

You can do it and it will stick

Hi Patman, I'm sorry to hear your slip and that you are struggling emotionally. You did not say in your OP how exactly this girl and new relationship was triggering or linked to picking up the drink. I can tell you one thing from experience, though. I also had temptations to get into new relationships during my first months of sobriety, but resisted them and turned down interests from a few people because I somehow instinctively felt that they were not the right kind of attraction, either their side or mine. I understood more precisely why and how only later, with more sober time and self-work. So glad I did not give in to those initial desires. I now started seeing someone just about two weeks ago and this just feels so right, pleasant, and uncomplicated so far. An emotionally very healthy and mature man, it's very different from the relationships I've had during the past several years... He is also not much into drinking although does drink occasionally. I just shared with him yesterday why I don't drink... not the whole story with all gruesome details, just the fact that I had a problem with alcohol in the past. I was a bit anxious about this talk, but he was absolutely wonderful about it and did not even ask much, just let me know that he would be there for me in any form if I need help and support.

It's so worth being a bit patient, focusing on our recovery, and getting into relationships when it's the right time (means, we are ready for it emotionally) and person.

It sounds like you have learned something from this relapse. Get at it again and add as many "tools" as you can!

no bashing from me either as you seem like your starting to face yourself and thats all anyone can ever hope for with others is that a penny or 2 starts to drop

only complaint i would have is lose the music. as to me i could spend most of my time listening to sad records and think there all about me or the song was written about me and off i would go into fantasy land again
how i used to love drink and listening to sad records i thought it was the time of my life feeling so sorry for myself to music : )

so i had to stop doing that same as other things i had to stop doing as they turned out to be no good for me either ; )

good luck to you

Hi fellow 'Spartan of Sobriety', I'm standing beside you in the shield wall.