Change4Good, it was really brave of you to get help and come clean to your friend. I'm so glad you're feeling better and are back on your sober path.

So sorry for what you went through Change :hug:

I once had 3 yrs. & decided I could have a drink now & then. 7 yrs. later I was brought to my knees, drinking all day, horrible anxiety & all sorts of drama. It was much worse that time than all the others before. I feared for my life - and that's when I found SR. I know I can't risk it ever again. It takes us a while to truly get it. Thankfully you are back and ready to do this thing. We know you can. :)

I'm glad you're alright. :hug:

(((Change4good))) So good to have you back. Keep at it and take care of yourself. :hug:

Change,

Sounds to me like you need outside help ASAP. I think I know what your talking about, about not wanting to go back into a hospital. For me at least, going back meant I had to admit to myself that I messed up again, and I'm my own worst critic. Than I started thinking, why go back, I've been there before and know everything about the program. I wouldn't learn anything new anyway. All this just made me my worst enemy. Obviously I didn't learn everything I needed to learn. I missed something, or maybe I just wasn't ready.
The last time I went through what your going through, I remember sitting on my couch scared to death of what was going to happen to me, but still determined to tough it out. I thing Devine Intervention stepped in when someone that was concerned about me called and convinced me to to back to a hospital. The doctor at that hospital then referred me to an IOP program.
The reason I'm sharing this Change is that I'm convinced I wouldn't be here today if that did not happen. I was at one on the worst places in my life at that time. I don't want to even think of what might of happened or what I would of done to end the misery.
Please try to be strong, and get the help you know you both need and deserve.
John