Dang-old alcoholic family...
 

I was talking to my parents last night. My dad asked if I was still not drinking. When I said I wasn't he said that someday I'd be able to have just a drink or two without getting "all wonky." This really frustrated me for a few reasons:

1. My mom is 100% a "functioning" alcoholic. She retired last year, and as expected her drinking is getting worse. I'm really struggling with how to address it.

2. My dad may not be an alcoholic, but he is a daily drinker, and more importantly, he wholly enables my mom.

3. When I told them I was getting sober, I explained that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I CANNOT DRINK. I think they think I'm just overreacting and need to clean out my system or something.

They truly don't see the depth of the alcoholism in our family. It's not just them--my mom's brother is currently on a liver transplant list, and my mom insists it's because of some mysterious genetic disorder, not the binge-drinking Jack Daniels he's done his whole life.

Since getting sober, I'm way more aware of the power of denial. It's amazing and infuriating.

Yep its awful, my family is the same way, parents are alcoholics,siblings are too.

My late mother was alcoholic died with over 10 years of sobriety altogether easily 25+
My father is alcoholic claims to have a gift (he doesnt)

my sister is alcoholic and has over 2 years of sobriety i myself have 15 months my younger brother is primarily a gambler coming up for a month but has a lot of sober time over the years and my other sister is a ex heroin addict who has been clean for around 3 years but has entered (yesterday for 6 months) to get off the substitute and rehomed

at this time my gf godmother was admitted to a hospice yesterday she has terminal cancer she is alcoholic and has over 25 years sobriety but she doesnt know im alcoholic

Addiction is harsh painful and relentless it will destroy us if we let it

Laura, my parents were in a similar situation with my father, possibly alcoholic, and my mother, definitely alcoholic, enabled by my father.

When I stopped drinking, I didn't say anything to them because I knew how screwed up their thoughts were regarding alcohol. I knew they would not support me and I knew I could not save them.

Friend in AA with parents who drank called his Mom and explained he was going into treatment.

Why?????

Mom, I am an alcoholic........

Oh honey, you couldn't possibly be that.....

Focus on you, more will be revealed...

fly

I am 100% right there with you OP.

My mom drinks about a bottle of wine or more a night, every night, and she is getting worse instead of better.

My Dad was a heavy drinker (mainly scotch) for years, but has cut back a bit recently.

My sister drinks more than a bottle of wine every night.

When I told them all that I had quit and was attending meetings, their reaction was "why? your not a REAL alcoholic."

In 2013, I went from drinking appx 8 drinks a night to 12 or 13. By the time I quit for the first time in March of this year, I was up to about 15. I think that qualifies as an alcoholic in anyone's book right?

As sad as it is to say, I think that my family had that reaction because they didn't want to look in the mirror and realize that they had a problem.

My family still offers me drinks...over the years I've gone from frustration and anger to finding it amusing now...it is what it is...

There's tons of support here and elsewhere Laura :)

D

Thanks for all your feedback!

This brings up another issue I'm currently grappling with. My parents are coming to visit for Christmas, and I'm already dreading the drama. My plan is to plan--come up with lots of "outs" for when I'm feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, whatever.

I'm sure the holidays will bring up lots of "how to cope" threads on here. I'm looking forward to hearing how other people deal.

L

My first sober christmas was at 5 months sober lat year i got through it this year will be a lot easier

Do we have the same family? My alcoholic mother told me that people are going to think I have a problem since I don't drink. LOL I dreaded Christmas and other family events, too, but my experience in now over a year sober is that the family drama has gone way down without me being their "partner in crime." They now try to hide their levels of drinking in front of me, now that they see that I am serious and more confident and healthy. :)

SoberLaura, sounds like your parents don't want to acknowledge your problem because they might have to admit their own. Are they staying at your house over the holidays?