Dang-old alcoholic family...
One bad mombre.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 22
Dang-old alcoholic family...
I was talking to my parents last night. My dad asked if I was still not drinking. When I said I wasn't he said that someday I'd be able to have just a drink or two without getting "all wonky." This really frustrated me for a few reasons:
1. My mom is 100% a "functioning" alcoholic. She retired last year, and as expected her drinking is getting worse. I'm really struggling with how to address it.
2. My dad may not be an alcoholic, but he is a daily drinker, and more importantly, he wholly enables my mom.
3. When I told them I was getting sober, I explained that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I CANNOT DRINK. I think they think I'm just overreacting and need to clean out my system or something.
They truly don't see the depth of the alcoholism in our family. It's not just them--my mom's brother is currently on a liver transplant list, and my mom insists it's because of some mysterious genetic disorder, not the binge-drinking Jack Daniels he's done his whole life.
Since getting sober, I'm way more aware of the power of denial. It's amazing and infuriating.
1. My mom is 100% a "functioning" alcoholic. She retired last year, and as expected her drinking is getting worse. I'm really struggling with how to address it.
2. My dad may not be an alcoholic, but he is a daily drinker, and more importantly, he wholly enables my mom.
3. When I told them I was getting sober, I explained that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I CANNOT DRINK. I think they think I'm just overreacting and need to clean out my system or something.
They truly don't see the depth of the alcoholism in our family. It's not just them--my mom's brother is currently on a liver transplant list, and my mom insists it's because of some mysterious genetic disorder, not the binge-drinking Jack Daniels he's done his whole life.
Since getting sober, I'm way more aware of the power of denial. It's amazing and infuriating.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
My late mother was alcoholic died with over 10 years of sobriety altogether easily 25+
My father is alcoholic claims to have a gift (he doesnt)
my sister is alcoholic and has over 2 years of sobriety i myself have 15 months my younger brother is primarily a gambler coming up for a month but has a lot of sober time over the years and my other sister is a ex heroin addict who has been clean for around 3 years but has entered (yesterday for 6 months) to get off the substitute and rehomed
at this time my gf godmother was admitted to a hospice yesterday she has terminal cancer she is alcoholic and has over 25 years sobriety but she doesnt know im alcoholic
Addiction is harsh painful and relentless it will destroy us if we let it
My father is alcoholic claims to have a gift (he doesnt)
my sister is alcoholic and has over 2 years of sobriety i myself have 15 months my younger brother is primarily a gambler coming up for a month but has a lot of sober time over the years and my other sister is a ex heroin addict who has been clean for around 3 years but has entered (yesterday for 6 months) to get off the substitute and rehomed
at this time my gf godmother was admitted to a hospice yesterday she has terminal cancer she is alcoholic and has over 25 years sobriety but she doesnt know im alcoholic
Addiction is harsh painful and relentless it will destroy us if we let it
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Laura, my parents were in a similar situation with my father, possibly alcoholic, and my mother, definitely alcoholic, enabled by my father.
When I stopped drinking, I didn't say anything to them because I knew how screwed up their thoughts were regarding alcohol. I knew they would not support me and I knew I could not save them.
When I stopped drinking, I didn't say anything to them because I knew how screwed up their thoughts were regarding alcohol. I knew they would not support me and I knew I could not save them.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by SoberLaura 
I was talking to my parents last night. My dad asked if I was still not drinking. When I said I wasn't he said that someday I'd be able to have just a drink or two without getting "all wonky." This really frustrated me for a few reasons:
1. My mom is 100% a "functioning" alcoholic. She retired last year, and as expected her drinking is getting worse. I'm really struggling with how to address it.
2. My dad may not be an alcoholic, but he is a daily drinker, and more importantly, he wholly enables my mom.
3. When I told them I was getting sober, I explained that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I CANNOT DRINK. I think they think I'm just overreacting and need to clean out my system or something.
They truly don't see the depth of the alcoholism in our family. It's not just them--my mom's brother is currently on a liver transplant list, and my mom insists it's because of some mysterious genetic disorder, not the binge-drinking Jack Daniels he's done his whole life.
Since getting sober, I'm way more aware of the power of denial. It's amazing and infuriating.
1. My mom is 100% a "functioning" alcoholic. She retired last year, and as expected her drinking is getting worse. I'm really struggling with how to address it.
2. My dad may not be an alcoholic, but he is a daily drinker, and more importantly, he wholly enables my mom.
3. When I told them I was getting sober, I explained that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and that I CANNOT DRINK. I think they think I'm just overreacting and need to clean out my system or something.
They truly don't see the depth of the alcoholism in our family. It's not just them--my mom's brother is currently on a liver transplant list, and my mom insists it's because of some mysterious genetic disorder, not the binge-drinking Jack Daniels he's done his whole life.
Since getting sober, I'm way more aware of the power of denial. It's amazing and infuriating.
Why?????
Mom, I am an alcoholic........
Oh honey, you couldn't possibly be that.....
Focus on you, more will be revealed...
fly
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 554
I am 100% right there with you OP.
My mom drinks about a bottle of wine or more a night, every night, and she is getting worse instead of better.
My Dad was a heavy drinker (mainly scotch) for years, but has cut back a bit recently.
My sister drinks more than a bottle of wine every night.
When I told them all that I had quit and was attending meetings, their reaction was "why? your not a REAL alcoholic."
In 2013, I went from drinking appx 8 drinks a night to 12 or 13. By the time I quit for the first time in March of this year, I was up to about 15. I think that qualifies as an alcoholic in anyone's book right?
As sad as it is to say, I think that my family had that reaction because they didn't want to look in the mirror and realize that they had a problem.
My mom drinks about a bottle of wine or more a night, every night, and she is getting worse instead of better.
My Dad was a heavy drinker (mainly scotch) for years, but has cut back a bit recently.
My sister drinks more than a bottle of wine every night.
When I told them all that I had quit and was attending meetings, their reaction was "why? your not a REAL alcoholic."
In 2013, I went from drinking appx 8 drinks a night to 12 or 13. By the time I quit for the first time in March of this year, I was up to about 15. I think that qualifies as an alcoholic in anyone's book right?
As sad as it is to say, I think that my family had that reaction because they didn't want to look in the mirror and realize that they had a problem.
One bad mombre.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 22
Thanks for all your feedback!
This brings up another issue I'm currently grappling with. My parents are coming to visit for Christmas, and I'm already dreading the drama. My plan is to plan--come up with lots of "outs" for when I'm feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, whatever.
I'm sure the holidays will bring up lots of "how to cope" threads on here. I'm looking forward to hearing how other people deal.
L
This brings up another issue I'm currently grappling with. My parents are coming to visit for Christmas, and I'm already dreading the drama. My plan is to plan--come up with lots of "outs" for when I'm feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, whatever.
I'm sure the holidays will bring up lots of "how to cope" threads on here. I'm looking forward to hearing how other people deal.
L
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Do we have the same family? My alcoholic mother told me that people are going to think I have a problem since I don't drink. LOL I dreaded Christmas and other family events, too, but my experience in now over a year sober is that the family drama has gone way down without me being their "partner in crime." They now try to hide their levels of drinking in front of me, now that they see that I am serious and more confident and healthy. 
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