Sobriety feels disappointing right now
 

I feel like I shouldn't say that, but I feel depressed and the cravings are so intense they actually make me cry. Last time I got sober I enjoyed a nice pink cloud. Sobriety felt great, like I was free. This time I feel trapped. I feel numb and dead to any other kind of pleasure. I don't know how long I can do this.

I found every go at recovery was different. My last time was very hard - I felt some relief but it was all very daunting scary and painful. I cried a lot too.

I know why people give up and go back...but I also know the joy and the freedom that's waiting for you if you persevere with this briar :)

This site is great 24/7 support - use us as much as you need to. You are not alone :)

have you seen these cravings tips?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D

I'm all too familiar with this feeling. I've had attempts at staying clean before where I'd feel really good in the beginning (pink cloud), and I've had attempts where I felt terrible from the beginning. Either way I always ended up feeling awful and using again. I think some type of work needs to be done right away if we are to have a chance, for me at least, whether thats therapy, 12 steps, exercise, etc. Right now I have a week clean and I've been trying to get back into things that made me happy before I started to using. I'm looking into going back to music lessons actually. I know if I sit in my misery and don't at least TRY to do something about it, nothing good will come out of it.

Hey Briar. I wish I could say I know how you feel, but I can't. But as an outsider looking in, as bad as things look right now, long term recovery has to be better than the alternative. My thoughts are with you and hope to find you better soon.

Yes, in the past I've been able to just quit and go on indefinitely feeling like I was on top of the world. However, that feeling changed this last time for me. I no longer felt great, I felt weak, tired, my body exhausted. Just know that it passes. it's hard to say when, it's different for everyone. This time for me it was 4 1/2 months - don't get discouraged, I was told it would take 6 before my drug of choice (pot) was mostly out of my system. I began to come out of the fog, then go back in, come out for longer. I think the older we are, the longer we've used, the state of our body/mind all influences how well we bounce back.

But I think of it this way now. Filling my cells with toxins eventually made them very sick. No wonder I was resistant to life in general, depressed mood, negative toward things that I used to enjoy. I'm no longer resistant to life. In fact things are starting to clear up pretty nicely.

However, it has taken a lot of hard work to get where I'm at right now. I went to re-hab, I went to 12 step meetings everyday for two months, I have a therapist I talk to once a week even now. My doctors, my best friends, and my family members know my Big Plan of staying clean. I'm working out, eating well, doing Luminosity, crossword puzzles, playing piano, painting etc etc. I'm back because I'm serious, more serious about it than ever before. Getting serious with your problem is a good place to start.

It took you awhile to get where you are right now. It will take a little while and some very good self-care to get your old self back again. Be gentle with yourself. Have a bath. Read something you enjoy. Pour a cup of tea. Tell yourself it will be OK.

Audra

Thank you all for your kindness and support. I made it through and am sober and feeling better. I tried all kinds of strategies and ultimately ended up just crying through the urges (is that a tool? Ha). I can't believe how hard it is this time, way harder than last time. It blinds me and tells me sobriety sucks and isn't worth it. I know that's not true, but when it's right there yelling in my ear it's so hard to hear anything else.

Crying is a wonderful thing sometimes.

I feel your pain. There must be something in the air tonight. I cried tonight too. Just emotional and, I don't know, painful. Feel better and hang in there.

Hey Briar, I hope you're feeling better. Ya know, I've been going through a real rough patch with my sobriety, too. It must be in the air :=] It's like the dots just haven't been joining up and the whole thing feels like so much wah wah. I'm really hoping it's a part of the process, that this hard time is ultimately about something good. Maybe feeling rough is necessary sometimes, I dunno. I'm hoping for all of us that that's the case. Take care.

Ya know what? It's okay that it feels not so great. Believe me...I guarantee what you are feeling is temporary...as all feeling states are : ) I know that the first two weeks of my sobriety...my attempt last year and this one this year...were pretty ugh. I remember wanting to crawl back under the drunk rock...both times. I just kept going through the motions and then somewhere along the line...and it really wasn't that far along..the sun started to shine and MOST days are good. Of course, there are difficult days of sobriety...that's life. The sun can't shine everyday.

Know that's its normal and okay to feel not okay. It absolutely gets better...way better. Stay close.

Thanks guys, I'm going to bed sober now and hoping day 7 will be a little easier. But I guess I'll take what comes and work with it. Your support helps so much. Thanks again.

Briar,

You're doing great. I couldn't stop one day before sobriety sucked less than drinking. It sounds like you got to that point as well. Sobriety so far has been difficult and honestly not much reward other than feeling more in control of my life and no hangovers. Okay, now that I read what I just typed I realize that sobriety is very rewarding! We have to keep the positives with us every day. I simply could not survive one more hangover so I'm thankful I don't have to anymore! It gets better and better as the weeks go by. At three months you feel like an entirely new better version of yourself.

I'm not one of the people who twirls around the room because sobriety rocks. I wish I had the energy to do that! I am the type who quietly appreciates it. Everything is better now though. Everything. It's really hard to see in the first few days and weeks so just please take our word for it!

Well done for not drinking. You can do this! :)

Do something, anything. Go for a bike ride, run, hike, walk. Find a project, start and finish it. This will help.

As well as D's exellet link briar have a look at this you can do it


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

I love this: I'm not one of the people who twirls around the room because sobriety rocks. Thank you for that visual! :)

It's a daily struggle and I'm just assuming crying comes with the territory. Cravings just suck period. Find something to take your mind off it. I started reading again. Haven't picked up a book in years but find that I get so into the book, that I think about nothing else but the book. Or pick up a new hobby? I'm thinking about learning how to cross stitch. Whatever you do, don't decide to take your washing machine apart! That kept me occupied for hours last night but is now still sitting in pieces lol :-) Stay strong, great job for not giving in!

For me, life (and recovery) has not been a static matter.

Each day has its own blessings and challenges. Sometimes defeats.

I just keep working the program of recovery that I use and I seem to be able to deal with the more challenging times better than I previously did.

Congrats on a day sober you are a success story!!

I have had that pink cloud before. The first time, and I lasted several months. I was overly confident and tried a drink here or there. Now, I have tried so many times, it is like I have a hard time taking myself seriously. I am very tired today too.

I hope you have a better day today.