SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hi, SR friends!

I've already kind of posted on every possible thread here about this milestone, and yet I am posting a new thread about this.

Today I feel like a sober happy puppy - like jumping, and being silly, and carrying on.

Though I still have a lot of issues to deal with, a lot of 'inner and outer" work to do. But it will wait... for today.

Today is my own Independence Day.

Two years ago I made the first step to break my co-dependence with past, pain, wounds, fears, and wine.

It's been a tough and sometimes painful "surgery" - but it was absolutely worth going through.

A few of my friends here know what kind of pain I had inside, how deeply scarred my soul, and how bad I was crippled by this. The kind of pain that at some moment put me on the verge of suicide.

It's not uncommon to see here, in newcomers' section, a post like 'I don't know how I would cope with pain not being able to numb it with alcohol/drug any more"..

That was my case - I was mortally scared my pain would kill me. Crash me, burn me out.

It didn't.

But it would probably will if I didn't stop my "wining".

Yes, when I ditched wine for some time I felt like I jumped off the plane without parachute not being sure if I develop the "promised" wings after all.

I finally did - not so fast, maybe, but on my way hanging to "parachutes of support" of my friends here.

I was alone 2 years ago - no support in real life. But it made me stronger - now I know that I can count on myself. That I am not bored on my own. Great feeling!

2 years...cliche - but seemed like it was yesterday.

Sometimes I feel like nothing changes.. but..NO!

It all started with me posting here.

One "small" step - fingers on the keyboard, and the whole new world just a mouse click away.

Here's my Sobriety Achievement Digest:

- FINALLY stopped running from past wounds and pain. Faced them and brought to surface and light to deal and leave behind where they belong.

- bought my own apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- sold my car to start sorting out financial issues;

- Finally sought help about major depression, saw a phsychiatrist, got medicines prescribed, and feeling WAY TOO MUCH BETTER now!

- Still learning to face challenges not like disasters but like opportunities. Hard science - but freaking exciting as well!

- Gained back my physical shape, lost about 5 kilos, got back to 6-times a week training schedule;

- Started doing boxing last July. Was a complete newby and was laughed at (still the only girl in my boxing class). Applied "one day at a time" and "what doesn't challenge you, doesn't change you" methods. Pretty much like in sobriety. Last Friday while doing mitts with my trainer a new guy watched us and commented: "Wow. What a jab!".

- Completely eliminated sugar and salty junk food 1 year ago;

- Finally ended binge-eating/overeating two months ago;

- Made friends with people whom I had been afraid to approach.

- Started meditating.

- Took care of my health issues. I experienced some quite worrisome moments a month ago, but difference in my attitude to "not so good" news was drastic compared to "before sober".

- In most situations replaced "why me?" with "what can I learn from this situation?". Not easy to practice sometimes, but helps a lot.

- Went to alco-free vacations and enjoyed them immensely!

- And more ...

My message to all the newcomers would be:

DO NOT BE AFRAID!

Make the first step - and tomorrow will take care of itself. Once today at a time.

My sunny, happy, positive vibes to you!