I think and hope that your outlook towards life will change as you recover.

And, yes, you could probably do it on your own. My first two years of sobriety, I was completely on my own. I depended on spiritual books. Then I found SR and it has been my lifeline ever since. There is great support here.

Most people quit w/out much fanfare. My motto is "any which way we can". SR is always here and my primary support but the phone is available for talking (yes, I was shocked too;) to helplines and folks from AA. Best wishes on finding what works for you (and you will if you put it at the top of your list EVERY DAY).

I'm early in my sobriety and understand the feeling of being a rat in a maze. It sounds like you truly desire to become sober. Try to figure out what will work for you. Hopefully with some sober time you will find a way out of the maze and, have a better life. Give it a try you have nothing to lose.

There's two rats in the maze and they have two options: go toward the alcohol reward or go towards the sobriety reward. The alcohol reward tastes good and seems to be the correct choice. And the first rat nibbles away at it with abandon. But then, over time, the rat starts to feel badly and is confused. He not sure he should eat anymore of that stuff, because although it tastes good, he the after effect are not so good. But he likes the taste too much and he eventually dies.

Rat number two goes for the sobriety reward which also tastes good, but it is harder to reach. More twist and turns in the maze. He stumbles and regroups and keeps on going. He runs into blind alleys but finds his way out. But once there, the rat number two nibbles away with abandon and there are no negative after effects. He has found the true reward for life.

Which rat are you gonna be?

Eastbound, I know it's the second part of your two-part question that's the kicker. Part 1, can you do it alone, answer = absolutely. Part 2: what's the point? So much harder for anyone else to answer for you. But I agree with others that for us sobriety itself is an altered state. And there's no telling what you might find for yourself there.

Personally I think that even though we're rats in a maze and nobody gets out alive, we can contribute to the human experience while we're here. For ourselves, for others, no contribution too small. The good stuff accumulates and filters out (and east and down :) ) That sounds annoyingly existential but I do think we all can matter to each other, directly and indirectly. Addiction robs us of that chance, though. Keeps us locked into ourselves. THAT'S the maze I want out of. A bigger maze sounds nice to me :)

There r aa meetings over the phone. Just type aa telephone meetings in your browser and it will give u a list of numbers

'tis hard to let anyone get close when alcohol is your very jealous lover. Divorce from booze WILL make all the difference in the world (you just have to believe it for a short time til it unfolds).

The sober life I have built is a-maze-ing with new discovers around every corner.

I couldn't do it alone. When I was forced into the fellowship of AA I discovered a new way to live and that a problem shared is a problem cut in half