Back after a couple years off the wagon
 

Thats it really. Stopped AA after I had a fallout with my sponsor, Had some wine at christmas, bam.

Not really sure what I'm looking for, again. This is like Dejavu.

Hi nice to meet you

Welcome back, outdoors. Are you ready to give sobriety another go?

hey outdoors..... same story here. I stumbled back to AA and SR after 1.5 years.

Glad I did. That was over nine months ago.

I feel a lot better now than when I was allowing alcohol in my life.

Use those 2 years as clear examples and direct evidence that sober is better.

:)

It's time. I used AA pretty effectively before, but the personalities (mine and others) were very strong and it was easier to not go. Not sure if I want to go back or do something else. I have nothing against AA (to be clear) so maybe I should find a different meeting.

well.... I can only tell ya what worked for me.

AA - well I use it. I don't go all the time. I go weeks and even months without going to AA. But I'm on SR pretty much daily at least enough to remind me why I've chosen sobriety that day.

I have read the Big Book three times and pick it up often just to read a few random pages. Particularly the personal accounts. These stories and random readings help keep my mind on why I chose sobriety and what life was like before that choice.

I have a distance sponsor. He's a long time AA member and over 25 years sober. He's there for me and I check in at least every week or so. I don't need to call and talk about actual sobriety that often, but when I do need it - he's there.

I asked a local old timer to help guide me through the steps. I've only done step one. But I did it in depth. A 20-something page workbook that asked a lot of hard questions about the reality of my use of alcohol and other drugs over the years of my life. That first step took me about 6 months to do. I did it a little at a time, and it made me look and get honest and think about what alcohol really has done in my life. I'm going to go over the answers with him soon and ask his help with step 2.

I don't know that I'll ever really "BE" an AA.... there are things that don't really resonate with me. BUT - it is always there for me and I go back when I feel my sobriety straining.

Service - here on SR I have tried to offer more to others. At first, it was just about me staying sober. With a little time under my belt, I try to also devote time to service; encouraging others in their struggles, hearing and understanding others, offering my experience strength and hope. In November I have signed up to go work with folks at the hospital detox as a guest speaker. I have found that having a goal ahead of me that is about someone else beyond me helps give me more motivation and commitment to the sober path.

I re-frame my cravings and jealousies and fantasies about alcohol and remind myself the damage it has caused and the freedom I've had in being free of it. I try to be grateful for sobriety and treat it as a blessing... almost look at it as being a member of an elite force in the world.... those who choose to live consciously and aware.... I embrace it as making a difference in the world as well as to myself.

All of these things help and represent a shift that came about when I was finally just beaten down and tired of trying - and failing - to prove that alcohol wasn't going to beat me.

Welcome back!! :)

Hi! I am with you!

Thanks for the warm welcome y'all.
As a favorite person of mine says "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired."

Welcome back outdoors :)

I dunno about you but I was pretty good at sabotaging my recovery and finding fault with things that helped me.

you ended up isolated, without support and near booze...that's your inner addicts trifecta right there.


I'm not saying AA is the answer (I don't use it myself) but there are many approaches available these days if you felt your differences were insurmountable.

Here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

Hi Outdoors, what were you guys not agreeing on...AA policies or personalities not clicking? I've never been to an AA meeting so I don't know how it works.

No, not AA. We really were having a personality conflict. I'm not placing blame, and what I should have done is politely asked my sponsor to help me find someone I might could have connected with a little more. Specifically, we had nothing in common so it made it difficult to talk unless it was about drinking. And I know that we tend to talk about drinking A LOT, but I like to fish, hunt, go to the beach and mountains, just generally do anything to be outside as much as possible. My sponsor was a Harley guy. So, neither was wrong or right we just didn't have anything to talk about. Again please don't read as placing blame. It was my fault for not dealing with it properly.

Thanks Dee. I'll check it out. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I didn't drink yesterday. And I won't today. I'll figure the rest out.

There are lots of ways to stop drinking. The important thing for me was to just realize that my life was better without drinking. I too spend much time outdoors. There is no room for alcohol on my journey.

Feeling much better today. Last couple of years have been pretty rough. Lost 3 of my grandparents to pretty nasty bouts with cancer, and this week i lost a young cousin to a wreck. That really set me off, and I haven't been in a great place mentally. No excuses, but just an explanation of where I'm at.

Halfway through day 2 and feeling mentally pretty good.

I am starting to get really shaky though. Thankful for the community.

glad to have you here Outdoors :)

Why not check out our current monthly support thread too?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-4.html

D

Welcome, outdoors! :)

HI Outdoors. glad you are here/back.

Good to meet you, Outdoors :)