Your tipping point???
 

Nine years ago today we were on the Eve of a hurricane that changed many peoples lives forever. I rode the storm out in my home which is 100 miles NE of New Orleans. Each area that the storm effected was somewhat different.

By us, it was wind - up to 100 mph sustained for many hours. At one point around 1pm CST after the 3 or 4 tree fell on our house, I thought there was a pretty good chance that today was the day.....Our home, like many in our area, was surrounded by many large trees. By grace, we emerged unscathed in body.

After the storm passed the work began in 90 degree heat with no electricity - just generator.

OF COURSE, I did stock up on booze and beer.....

The next several weeks were 24/7 of clean up and survival. Gas lines, rumors of all kinds of crap - home invasions etc. were the daily existence.

As I reflect on this time today, it dawns on me that may have been my tipping point with alcohol. I think that is where the line got crossed for good. I always drank heavily, but this was different. It seems during this period booze went from something to self medicate my misery to more like that feeling you get when you haven't had a glass of milk in awhile and you are then refreshed by one>>>> AHHHHH

Since that point and up to 81 days ago the gas petal was to the floor - always.
This is not any sort of excuse, but simply an observation.

Was there a tipping point you can reflect on when booze changed from a really bad habit to life itself?????
Let us also reflect today/tomorrow on those whose lives have changed in an instant due to horrific weather events or other cataclysmic happenings.


Thanks for any thoughts or replies.

Thanks Flynbuy, glad you are with us.

July 3rd 2003. My first blackout. Up to that point I had been drinking heavily but would throw up if I pushed it that far. That morning I looked at what was left of a bottle and could believe I had drank that much or that I couldn't remember how I got from the bon fire to the couch. I knew something had changed and that I needed to quit. That was the last rational thought I had about drinking fro the next 10 years. Feb 10 2013 I believe I reached another tipping point. The point where I just didn't care anymore all I wanted to do was drink.

Lol, where do I begin.. there were so many times that should have been my breaking point. My self worth was null.. I did things and said things that I would never dream I would do. Thankfully I drank by myself and am alone so I really only hurt/disrespected myself. My final breaking point was when I started a journel and documented everything. See.. my addiction has always been my dirty secret. After documenting the good and bad days it became apperent. I started regulating it but it was hard and at least once a week I would benge. So 27 days ago I was just tired of the constant nagging after work. A little was not good enough but more jacked me up for work, and thankfully I happen to love my job. You know.. we reach breaking points but when we generate enough force to quit we have to take it. If I choose to drink again I know it may be 1, 5, 10 yrs that I have that energy and clarity to quit. I was just sick of it!! Im off that train and trying to settle and build a home in my own mind. Life is too short to do that anymore. To many things to do!!!

A huge congratulations to your 81 days Flynbuy! That is amazing!

Been lots of tipping points for me, but only one that got me to get on this site or any other site IRT alcohol problem. 8/2/14 I was up at my ranch and have had an ongoing property dispute with another party. I have tried successively to buy his property for 5 months. Its a long story and not for here. Anyway, he flew out to the property and I knew he was going to stop buy to look at his property. I had been building fence, and drinking beer since 10:00 am. I was out in the back 40 building a gun range and my kid came to tell me he was at the ranch house. I had probably 8 to 10 beers in me and it was 1:00 p.m.(usually a time when most people may have one beer with lunch).

We met, it turned very confrontational and I came unhinged. Really unhinged, as I have already spent a lot of $$ on lawyers to rectify this problem and even though I have met his asking price three times, he kept raising it. So it did not get physical, although I was hoping it would even though he was an enormous 340 lber. At one point, and this was the tipping point, I thought, why in the hell don't I just shoot him and bury him on my property? Then the problem would go away. I had a gun right there, a tractor to dig and I thought damn, why did I not think of this earlier. I don't have a criminal record, don't even have a speeding ticket. I am one law abiding citizen.

I did not shoot him, and eventually I finished the 30 pack of beer after he left and woke up the next morning with a few questions I needed to answer. I get aggressive when I drink too much, never toward my family, but toward others. But obviously something had changed with the beer. I used to be fun and jovial, now I get mean and thought about shooting a guy to solve a problem which will in time rectify itself. SOOOO, I had to make a change. I got on here the next day and was comforted that other people are in the same boat, and I need to focus not on the 10-30 beers, but rather the first one.

Pretty educated guy, but never thought it was a battle to not have the first one, but a battle to stop at about 10-30. It was an epiphany to me to think it needs to stop before one.

I really can't risk getting drunk and wanting to shoot people. It is not a very socially acceptable solution to a problem. Sort of like getting drunk, then throwing your life away type of situation.

Anyway, that was my tipping point. Glad to get it off my chest.

I remember all of a sudden life beginning to go downhill fast just before I admitted I was alcoholic

It took 3 months and I'm now 13 months sober

I am ALWAYS really, really impressed by folks who are not effecting family in the immediate home and quit. Frankly, I am not certain I'd have that amount of insight which lead me to stop.......

Proud of you!
Thanks for this great share

Age 20, sophomore in college at Auburn University. I am sure I was considered a "problem drinker" at that point. And I am sure that is when I was psychologically dependent. I was a binge drinker. Made it through college, graduated with honors... which blows my mind looking back. It's sad because I might have done so much more had I not been a drinker at that stage. But I used it for social anxiety mostly. That's how it all got started.

By the way, my friend is from Waveland, MS (about 50 miles NE) - the town that was obliterated by Katrina. I went down to survey the damage done to his family - just astounding. Looked like a war zone. I've never seen anything like it.

My 21st birthday was my tipping point. I no longer had to scrounge for booze, I could just buy it myself. The only thing that kept me from drinking every day prior to that was if I couldn't get someone to buy it for me (or steal it, I did a lot of that unfortunately).

My business revolves around storms. I have been onsite immediately after every major hurricane since 1987. It has taken a sort of psychological toll on my I believe ( though I don't know ) like a delayed/cumulative ptsd.

Waveland, MS along with the entire Gulf Coast of MS looked like the bombing of Dresden after the storm. The Fury of sustained wind and surge is truly incredible.

Thanks for your replies!

That's a great point. Access - I was raised in an era when the drinking age was reduced. Can't imagine wth legislators were thinking. But, that was indeed another step for me = ready access.

Thanks for the reply

In March my wife kicked me out. Along with losing her I lost my stepdaughter and grandchild. I don't have children of my own. Alcohol was one of the contributing factors in the break-up. After that alcohol became everything. I was blacking out every night for about four and a half months. I was suicidal also. I finally just had enough and, found this website. It's gotten me through 30 days of sobriety.

Thanks for the thread flynbuy. My av was screaming at me earlier. This thread got me thinking as to why it is I want to stop. Everything is back in perspective now. My av is gone.

Great job on 30 days!!!

When I stopped I was really concerned about loneliness. AA meetings have helped me tremendously. I tried on my own so many times and just couldn't make it work.

Hang in there man - pm me anytime please. Helps us both!!

Peace

I don't remember. I was drunk. Not a joke.

Bunnez

No single tipping point I guess. I always drank a lot and it got gradually worse. It was the old story of the frog sitting in a pot on the stove with the water getting hotter and hotter.

But I guess when my dad died three plus years ago I took a turn for the darker. His only brother had nearly died in a DUI accident many years ago; dad was sent home from the navy because his brother was expected to die. He survived and drank for many more years before AA saved his life. Knowing how much his brother's alcoholism hurt the family was an inhibition to my drinking on some minor level. But when my dad passed it's like all bets were now off; there was no reason to hold back. Within a year I realized I'd be dead soon too if I didn't stop.

There was no tipping point for me either. It just built up and I hated it. Truly hated it.

There were moments that led me to sobriety. Here's one:

Across from where I do most of my grocery shopping, there's a place with the best tacos in town. One weekend afternoon a little over a year ago, I went to get one before groceries. As I was walking in, I noticed a woman entering ahead of me. I remember thinking she looked young, but as I got closer she seemed older.

She'd already ordered when I got in line behind her at the counter and was emptying her pockets to pay with pennies, nickels and dimes. Took forever. Then she got her order: one glass of wine. She stood in place and guzzled it down in one continuous gulp. When she finished, she stared at the guys behind the counter -- couple of young fellas who were starting to look like they wished they were on a different planet. The expression on her face said it all -- "please take pity on me and give me another one on the house."

They politely thanked her and motioned to me to place my order. Her head down, she walked out of the building.

I remembered thinking no one starts that way. And I asked myself: "Where does it end for me?"

I ordered a Diet Coke and a taco and quietly ate my meal. A couple weeks later, I had what I -- now a recovering alcoholic -- hope was my final drink.

Nice thread, Flynbuy -- bringing out some good responses! :)

My tipping point was probably in the spring of 2009 at a conference in San Diego. That's all I want to say about that.

Hurricane Sandy in NYC sent me towards my recovery. The city was like a war zone for a while -- a long while in places -- and in the institution where I work all ordinary operations were suspended for about 10 days and the building was made into a shelter. There were only 3 kinds of people there: storm refugees, volunteers, and me. Every day, morning to night, I'd go to my office to drink. Alone. And stare out my windows at the city below. At that point, I couldn't do much else. I started then to become aware that something was seriously wrong.

It was a very long very slow motion slide for me. I can't isolate one event or one moment in time, but I always drank hard...I drank harder when my first long term relationship broke up...but after a year or so I actually sobered up, started a new relationship...went back to drinking heavily but irregularly...then, a few years later when my health failed and my carefully planned out future just...disappeared, I drank the hardest yet.

there was no coming back from that second drinking session, at least not until nearly 10 years later.

D

Wow, what an amazing providential event.
Thank you so much for sharing that with all!!!
Incredible....

Best Regards,

Thanks Flynbuy! Honestly though.. it took me forever. I drank for about 16 years and tried to control/quit for 10 (in denial). I finally got to a point that I just knew I would be alone and miserable and die young if I continued. Watching people who had families and had it together.. me being needy, desperate and dependent on alcohol.. thats not me. I just wanted to be free!! Life is too short to waste away in hell on earth :).

Much love everyone
Stay strong!!

Well said, and great motivation for (me) Others!!
Good for you!!

I have always drank, however it wasn’t until this year that I felt my drinking has become a problem. It wasn't a single event for me - but really noticing that alcohol is ruining the things that are important to me in life.

I drank daily starting in my third year of college. I started having a constant pain on my right side in 2013 after 34 years of daily drinking. The pain was from an enlarged liver and was a constant reminder that I was destroying my physical health. After six months of pain, I stopped drinking.
That was 12 months ago and I now run every day instead of drink. My life is so different now, it is hard to describe. I'm living again after wasting over three decades getting drunk every night.

Great RLS quote in you signature.

Thank you for your post .

I recall a few years back when I quit for a short period. I refused to go to AA meetings. I said to my wife - if I go to meetings, everyone will know I have a drinking problem. She chuckled - EVEYONE already knows! That still pisses me off....ha! Tried Antibuse - it worked fine till I got tired of not drinking and let it pass from my system. THEN I was ready to moderate - what a joke....

Today, meetings make the difference for me. I learned to stop taking the various fear killers I used daily including alcohol.

Over the years, my drug of choice was simple. What u got??
Vodka, rum, beer etc.... Perfect!

82 days....

Very powerful! What a testament to HOPE for all!

Man, I have regrets for the time I wasted as well. If I dwell on that, it will eat me alive.

Guy told me once - we make amends to ourselves and loved ones everyday by not drinking. That thought helps me a lot.

Best Regards,
Flynbuy

the day I knew I was no longer a social drinker was when I was screaming at my children for basically being children. They were so scared, the eldest was 9. The day I knew my quitting day was coming soon, was the day my mother passed. I had progressed for a few weeks into vodka at that time.

My mom's death had the same effect on me.

Good for you!! Glad you took the time to post this for all of us......Nothing is more important than doing right by your kids. Wish I learned that lesson a long time back;

Right before I quit I bought a bottle of tequila(Saturday night) to make my wife Margaritas the next afternoon. She drinks about 1 a month, maybe. BUT I really thought I would do this for her!! What a joke......

That night, I proceeded to drink the vast majority of it - by myself doing shots with beer in the garage. I left enough to make each of us a margarita the next day.

My 17 year son was so upset I was drunk again, he smashed the bottle in the driveway and what little remained of the tequila.

I yelled at him - well, you spoiled MOMS little surprise! WOW, THAT is when I knew I had lost it.

STILL it took another couple months. I was definitely insane....I have a lifetime of amends to make.

The good news is TODAY we talk again. The look of despair in his eyes which was a reflection of me is gone......It didn't take long. He wants to love and needs a father who isn't a lush.....

Hey man, your thoughts struck home a bit with how you can become different with too many beer, and about ya can't just have one. everyone has their triggers, and mine is like you, having the first one. Sometimes I stopped after 6 or 8, and I didn't have any more, just enjoyed the buzz, but deep down I knew that I wanted to keep the buzz going, and I would like more. I kept playing this game thinking I had control, while 1-2 times a month I would give in and have 16 beers, and that was bad, fiancée didn't like that guy as he doesn't listen and thinks he knows everything, and I began wondering if that guy was going to be able to keep relationships, so for 3 mos, I went off beer, and just had a bottle of wine 3 nights a week with her (buying one each night to avoid the urge of having more), it was fine, until one night prior to a camping trip, I bought 2 bottles for the first time, and I lost control of the responsible guy, and just wanted to drink, I thought I had done so well, but we got into a fight, and that was it, that was the night I realized what I always think I knew, I don't have control over this, maybe for a while I can, but overall I WAS DONE, that was 13 Aug 2014. I'm done with the stuff, it is not worth going threw every week thinking "I can't wait til Thu" (to have beer); I think more clearly now, and am a better guy for it. I wish you the best of luck man, and let's not "just have 1", guys like us can't do that, not worth it!