Why did you drink? So I've been doing a lot of thinking about why I drank and have urges to drink phychologically. I started after my girlfriend at the time cheated on me and left me with a flat I could not leave or afford on my own. The fear of being alone and being homeless again (my greatest fear) sent me into a spiral of panic attacks and drinking to prevent those panic attacks. Ironically the more I drank the worse my anxiety became when I wasn't drinking, it was a vicious cycle. So for me the no 1 reason was anxiety. If you don't know why you drank, then that's something to discuss/think about. I'm of the opinion that by understanding the reasons you're better equipped to fill the gap left by alcohol. |
childhood trauma, broken relationship aswell. Serious amount of pain and hatred inside of me aswell as sheer fear! Easier to drink and forget about it! |
I moved away from the town i grew up in after a very traumatic event and I left at 18 As for when I started drinking on problems I'm not even sure it may have been beer leading into spirits then just upping the dosage till I ended up completey lost and I think it started at 21 years old for me But I can't be sure Ii had my first drink at 15 when I was working and I drank on weekends in pubs cos I look old enough At 16 I had a blackout from drinking to much in new York and the drinking age is 21 that was 1998 but it didnt happen again n till I was drinking alcoholically I think I may have always had this coming Not sure |
My started out because I was always alone. I would play video games for hours, get tanked with friends, it was fun. But after college, I realized it was my fear of being alone and my bad childhood. After dealing with all that, sobriety has been slowly getting easier. |
I initially drank because I liked the buzz. Over the years I drank because it was there. Didn't need or want a reason. |
For the buzz! It also helped my anxiety and childhood trauma issues, temporarily anyway :) The longer I drank, the more I drank for every reason under the sun. But it was ultimately about the buzz. |
It was a great way to escape and numb life away at first, I didn't really like myself, so I could disappear in a bottle and not have to worry about anything!! But after a while I would drink due to boredom, it was something do in the evenings, and by the end it became a habit, a routine!! Finally when the addiction of alcohol grasped my life, it was something I needed every day, something that I feared loosing from my life, it created a spiral downward that needed to be halted with Sobriety!! :) |
I could list 100's of reasons /excuses but the bottom line was that I drank for the feeling of pleasure. |
I'm still unsure why I drank. At early recovery I thought it was just for the buzz, later in recovery I was pretty sure it was social anxiety. And now I have no idea. Just a mix of anger and disbelief to follow. I'd sure as hell like to find out. I agree it is vital, whatever the reason is, or if there is no reason. |
I just started like most people I knew. College. Unfortunately I liked the high more than I hated the bad stuff. And I could drink more than most day one. I always could down lots of liquids. Alcohol was no exception. And once I started that brain part that says stop...I couldn't or didn't want to hear. Nothing too crazy in my life brought me to it. It just was what it was. And what it was wasn't good. As long as I don't drink it. I seem to be pretty normal in most other aspects of my life. At least as normal as most folks. I am now 100% sure that's just the way it is. I can't drink. Period. If I do. All bets are off. I can think of worse things to not be able to do again. I'm just fine knowing I can't drink alcohol. Now I just have to remember I have a short memory and be careful I don't forget that. |
Social only. I could not wait to turn 21 and hang out in the bars. But that "fun" dwindled into a full blown problem / addiction. It may have something to do with my parents divorce (I was young) but I don't really use that as the crutch. But in all fairness, I do see how that did contribute to me becoming reckless at a young age. So maybe it does have something to do with it and I never addressed it. If I could have only made a better decision 21 years ago. But I can only deal with today. |
Originally Posted by UnixBer
(Post 4854455)
I'm still unsure why I drank. At early recovery I thought it was just for the buzz, later in recovery I was pretty sure it was social anxiety. And now I have no idea. Just a mix of anger and disbelief to follow. I'd sure as hell like to find out. I agree it is vital, whatever the reason is, or if there is no reason. |
Originally Posted by UnixBer
(Post 4854455)
I'm still unsure why I drank. At early recovery I thought it was just for the buzz, later in recovery I was pretty sure it was social anxiety. And now I have no idea. Just a mix of anger and disbelief to follow. I'd sure as hell like to find out. I agree it is vital, whatever the reason is, or if there is no reason. |
But I really think that alcoholics drink because of the effect, ultimately. Problem drinkers, whatever you wanna call it. We have a different reaction and response set off in the brain, from what I've read. There's a euphoria we experience that a non-addict doesn't. It sets it all into place. It's got to do with the neurotransmitters and our different chemistries. |
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
(Post 4854464)
But I really think that alcoholics drink because of the effect, ultimately. Problem drinkers, whatever you wanna call it. We have a different reaction and response set off in the brain, from what I've read. There's a euphoria we experience that a non-addict doesn't. It sets it all into place. It's got to do with the neurotransmitters and our different chemistries. I'm going off memory, but I'm fairly sure that was the quote (if not it's very close)/ |
Yeah, it is fascinating... the neuroscience behind it. I had the chance to attend a presentation called The Broken Brain early on in sobriety, and it has been the single most convincing bit of information I've come across that has kept me sober. |
Because it felt like freedom...and then it didn't. |
At first I drank because it was fun and I liked the feeling of being drunk. Towards the end I drank because I needed to and it definitely wasn't fun anymore. I personally try not to overthink my alcoholism, or it's roots. I accept that I am, and always will be, and i'm not really all that concerned about WHY. Even if I knew why i couldn't change it. |
Originally Posted by MrBen
(Post 4854415)
If you don't know why you drank, then that's something to discuss/think about. I'm of the opinion that by understanding the reasons you're better equipped to fill the gap left by alcohol. For one, a lot of people, myself included, lack the introspective skills to objectively indentify the reason one drank. Maybe I will figure how why I picked up the first 10,000 beers, but what about the 40,000 after that? Can I still blame wanting to fit in, or to have fun, or boredom, or peer pressure, or not being breast fed as a baby? No. So once we are addicted, we have to address "what now" not "what was" and figure out how not to pick up. Because by the time we've come to SR, we've wired our brains to drink or use. That's the reason now. Just my opinion. Your mileage may vary. |
I think it depends on the reason. Like my reason is fairly straightforward, I have general anxiety disorder. I take medication, meditate and work out and all this makes not drinking much easier. So understanding why I drank has helped. Whereas if you suffered childhood trauma.... well I don't know what to do about that. Can't change the past. So yeah, depends I guess. |
I drank because I enjoyed it so much. |
Because I am an alcoholic. |
Anxiety, low self-esteem, depression... mostly due to having a very abusive father and growing up in a violent home environment. That first buzz felt very liberating because it seemed all my anxiety, inhibitions, and low self-confidence just melted away. I honestly think I spent 26 years trying to get that feeling back again but the more I drank, the more elusive it became. It was hollow all along. Artificial. |
Originally Posted by MrBen
(Post 4854415)
Why did you drink? |
To get drunk. |
I drank, two periods - 2.5 years and 4.5 years - after the birth of a baby and having postpartum depression. I had postpartum depression after my first child was born but went on meds. My husband treated me like a loser (and his mother), the doctor said no more breastfeeding. My husband said our child would not be as smart because of that, that he would have a lower IQ. Well, son is in the gifted program and has earned straight-As in 2 years at middle school. He'll still say he could have been smarter because he's an ass. He's my ex for a reason. Anyhow, I was scared to medicate with baby 2. Baby 3 was with my new husband, he would have supported me going on meds but I felt like I could handle the PPD. The feelings of being in a tunnel and not being able to breath were unbearable. |
...that said, I didn't think I would make it through July. As my kids went off to 2 weeks of camp I promised them mom wouldn't drink. As the bus pulled away I remember thinking to myself, how will I do that? They were coming back July 30th. I thought if I can just make it through July, hence soberjuly. I'm still working on it, the periods I used to drink, but now I am looking at Sept and I no longer feel it is impossible to live alcohol free. |
Because I liked the warm, fuzzy feeling. Basically been drinking since childhood. The wild, Wild West, you know. I liked the way it helped with my shyness and at the time I thought it made me more creative. Interesting how all that changes with progression. |
Any reason I could think of. Straight A's, honors grad, family function, wedding, lost a job, got a job, bad date, good date, sick, well, bad workout, lost a race, won a race, break-up, it rained, it snowed, its sunny out, blue, black, red, orange, etc. For the last nine months before my liver gave out, I drank because I just didn't care anymore. Bad break-up and crap job. No self-worth. I knew I was probably dying, didn't care about that either. But, I'm still here, and now Sober. I know it wasn't my time to go, and that's enough for me to live. ~Bunnez |
I only drank because the sky was blue and the grass was green and also because I loved the feeling...... Plus 200 other reasons. |
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