help! I'm at the end mentally. Idk what to do
 

To make a long story short my boyfriend and I have been together going on 9 years on and off. We've had our ups and downs we had broken up and I started talking to someone else and he went crazy and turned to the roxys. He had also met a party girl who enabled him and didn't help the situation. He was heavily addicted for a year and a half. This girl had gotten pregnant and kept the baby(the whole time she's smoking these pills while pregnant) ,I was completely devastated. He has turned to dope. He swears up and down he wants to get clean and he doesn't want this is his life anymore. But he constantly everyday goes and buys it? I'm oblivious to drugs. I've never done them and never will. He keeps telling me he's going to get suboxones. But it's always dope everyday. And this child's mother freaks out on him and threatens to call the cops if he doesn't get her drugs. I'm at the end. I seriously don't know what to do anymore. All I want is for him to get clean. Get rid of her and get back to being him. I just want the guy back that I fell in love with. Please help. I don't know what to do anymore

Jaydee,

You sound like a very sweet and caring person. Imagine what life would look like with a healthy guy? If you continue with this guy, the mother of the child will be in your life forever. Have you considered an Alanon meeting?

End your relationship with this man and move on with your life. Life's too short to deal with an oxycontin-addicted guy who goes "crazy" who has a baby with a "party girl" who smokes oxy "all the time" even through pregnancy. That is not the team of horses to which you want to hitch your wagon.

Kenny Rogers told us "you gotta know when to hold 'em, you gotta know when to fold 'em" -- I think you're in the latter category at this point.

Good luck.

There is nothing you can do. He has to decide when or if he wants help and it does not appear he is there.

He keeps you hanging on with fake promises of change but does not change. His actions speak louder than his words.

It sounds as if you are at the end of the rope, it is time to let your end of the rope go. Life is to short and precious to spend your days worrying and hoping he will change. I am not going to tell you he won’t but it does not seem it will be anytime soon.

If it meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, move on and get yourself out of the vicious cycle of active addiction.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. It is time for you to make the change by stopping your nightmare by moving on. I know that is easier said then done but it is the best choice for you. Think of yourself, let him worry about him.

You have to take care of yourself first and foremost. You can't fix this person or help him if he doesn't want help.

Have you considered calling CPS? Two people actively abusing drugs should not be caring for an innocent baby. There are too many horror stories out there already, I'd hate to see another one.

yep. time to care for yourself my friend.

We cannot save anyone else. If he's serious about wanting to get help, give him the contact numbers for some local detox centers or NA. Beyond that, it's his ball game. The words and actions you describe are those of an addict caught in a cycle that only the addict himself can break.

If you stay with him, this girl and her child will continue to be in your life.

I sincerely hope he, and she, get the help they need. For now, though, you need to think of what's best and healthiest for you.

We can't change or control another person.

As others have said, it's time to step back and take care of yourself. Alanon could be very helpful for you.

He will seek support if and when he is ready to stop using drugs.

Believe it or not with all these empty promises getting fed to me everyday. It is getting easier to let go. I know I'm stupid and I know I deserve so much better. I guess I'm just stuck in the past and I need to move on from that. I have considered calling CPS but she already had 2 cases on her. She "passed her drug test" by using clean pee. Plus i know you can do it anonymously but they would know it's me and it would just be the "jealous ex girlfriend" trying to be spiteful. I met this little boy and he is a absolute sweet heart. Just makes me so angry because they both are on drugs and can get away with it

Don't put your life on hold, waiting around for someone else to sort out their addiction, your life could very easily pass you by, he could change, and that would be great, but what if he doesn't?!!

You need to continue with living your own life!!

Call children's services. If she's already got two cases with them I'm sure they'd want to know what's going on.

And let bf go. He's not committed to you or to being clean. It's time to move on and do what's best for you. :)

You are not stupid and that kind of thinking is very self-defeating. You obviously care very much for your ex-boyfriend and the two helpless children involved in this awful mess.

You need to contact CPS and to hell with the false accusations that you are a jealous ex-girlfriend. You know the truth and those kids need help and are unable to help themselves.

And as PP said, please take care of yourself too. Its easy to become too sympathetic and begin to enable bad behaviors while bringing yourself down in the process. There is a forum here for those who have loved ones who suffer from addiciton: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information .

Hey, you thought about calling CPS etc. What makes you think, let's just say you could make her magically disappear.......he would suddenly return to normal? In my opinion, probably not going to happen EVEN IF she goes away.

Like everyone has been saying. Take care of yourself.

I don't know, he sounds like a real catch to me.....

As Weyoun would say..."TIME TO GO!" (Trekkies will get it)

Take care of yourself, whatever you decide to do. Good advice all around.

I think the whole situation sounds like bad news.

I definitely am taking care of myself. I come first. it's a little hard to kick someone to the curb who got caught up in the wrong crowd and who has a problem. He's been in my life for almost 10 years and I know this isn't him. I still haven't given up yet because deep down i know he's still the person i met. He despised drugs and anything to do with them. .. I came here for advice and to get it off my chest so I don't need smart remarks and negativity , "Low"

Jaydee,

Can I ask a question? In your original post you said you just "want him to get rid of her and get back to being him." What do you think of the prospect of the baby's mother being in your life indefinitely?