coming back
 

Hi all,

I was on here a few months back, when I had my first real experience with admitting to myself that I might have a problem with alcohol. I found so much support and was able to stop drinking for about 3 weeks, but then fell victim to the "I can just drink once a month" or whatever rationalizing way of thinking. I think part of me always knew that was BS, because even though I told myself it was a good plan, I was ashamed to come here and post.

Long story short, I ended up on a bit of a bender, and the withdrawal symptoms kept getting worse. At the end of last week I was experiencing some shaking and cravings and severe anxiety attacks until I would drink again. That was scary and another wake up call. I'd been severely depressed while I'd been drinking too, almost suicidal.

I've been sober 2.5 days now, and saw a therapist today for the first time in years. She encouraged me to go to a meeting and gave me a list of some to try. I hope I can work up the guts to do that this week, but I'm not sure, to be honest. I guess at least I know now that staying sober will be more difficult than I thought it would be in the rush of excitement about changing my life that characterized my first attempt. I'm not excited about this battle but I know it's one I need to fight.

I hope anyone reading this is doing well, or hanging in there. I'm so glad you're all here and that this place exists.

hello and welcome! 2.5 days :) good stuff!!!
this place is amazing for support and shared experiences!

Welcome back to SR!! :)

For me the decision had to be all or nothing, abstaining from alcohol doesn't cure or fix me, the problem still exists, so the door needed to be kept firmly closed.

Keep pushing through and you'll get there!! :)

Hi and welcome back, really good to have you here.

Congrats on 2.5 days! Do this now before it becomes much harder later.

You are stronger than you know.

I'm glad you're back giving it another go. :)

Thanks all. :grouphug: If anyone has advice on working up the guts to go to a first AA meeting, I'd love to hear it!

Hi Gracette, I've never attended an AA meeting but there are many good pholk here who can advise you.

Gracette,

Just go by the seat of your pants. I know it can be scary but you need to remember that they all are there for the same reason as you. If you can muster it say hello. Sit and listen. If you feel the need speak. Otherwise just take in. You can get a 24 hour chip if they do a chip system. And Good Luck!

You're making it happen! :c011:

Thanks Kris, that is really helpful. I sort of have this problem with everything, where I start imagining every possible thing that could happen and thus psyching myself out of taking action... I was really nervous about going to a therapist today and I ended up telling myself "all you have to do is not run away" - I guess the same holds with going to meetings.

Welcome back Gracette :)

I had the habit of 'mentally running ahead' too - it made even simple things seem overwhelming.

Try as best you can to 'stay in the day' - all any of us can do is live one day at a time, all any of us have to work with is 24 hours.

It's important to remember too that 99.99% of the things I used to imagine happening didn't actually happen at all :)

There's a lot of support here - you're not alone :)

D

It is a big deal, going to your first meeting. I was too afraid and would never have got there on my own. Instead I called the AA phone line and they sent someone to see me. We talked about their experience with alcohol, and my experience and I became comfortable that he knew what he was talking about. He outlined AAs solution and explained how the meetings work. He told me I didn't have to say anything if I didn't want to, ( it was some weeks before I actually spoke in a meeting) and generally won my confidence.

Then he took me to a meeting that night. He looked after me, introduced me to a few people and let the chairman know I did not want to speak.

I will always be grateful to that man. Not only did he give me hope, but he made it possible for me to get into AA and develop this wonderful new way of life. He looked after me for the next few days until I could find my own way around.

Sometimes going to a meeting cold can be a bit of a lottery. You never know what kind of meeting you might strike, and some are a bit off the wall. I always recommend talking to someone first and at least getting some advice on which meeting would be best to start with.

Being nervous is normal. When you let it dictate you, that is not normal.

I hope your therapist helped!

Glad to see you back Gracette. It sounds like you're ready this time. We're here to help.

Welcome back!

Yes, I should say that the therapist I saw gave me a list of meetings that she recommended for me. Which makes all the difference in the world, I doubt I'd even be seriously considering it otherwise. I'd looked on the website once before to find meetings but there are so many and it was too scary to just pick one. I didn't know that having someone visit like that was possible though, thank you so much for the information!