I hate the nice weather....
 

It just gets a grip on me and all I can think about is a drink. I find myself having a perfectly normal conversation, but all the while thinking about how my husband would react if I picked up some wine. But I know as soon as I say I need a meeting, he will feel slighted---- and that will tick me off even more. Cunning baffling powerful. And a load of crap. Sometimes one day at a time seems like an eternity, however I know that this too shall pass.

Why would he feel slighted?

D

Because it doesn't fit HIS agenda.

Maybe you can express to him how you feel? There is Alanon also that could help him understand your perspective.

Important thing is that you remain sober.

ThePatman makes a good point, I think.

It's important to communicate how important support is - in the end, I really feel noone should stand in the way of you and your recovery.

D

He of course waited to go to walmart when it's the normal meeting hour. He doesn't want the kids to go with me, he doesn't want the kids to go with him. I told him I am struggling and of course I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. Walmart is open 24 hours. He can go anytime.... Instead he wants to mess with me. I hate him for that. My daughter is being a brat cuz she wants to go night swimming--- there's plenty of time for that too. I'm convinced the world is against me. If I don't pick up a drink tonight it will be a miracle!

Hang in there OTRP, it is the tough times that define us in our sobriety.

Drinking at your husband your daughter or the world is not the answer ontherightpath :)

Maybe you can explore online meetings, or ring the local office to organise a lift? public transport?

D

Youch. Red flag! Does he drink? Does he get jelous easily? Just wondering...dont quite get it.

I just had a bunch of judgements flash through my head, based on a couple of sentences.

Perhaps hubby could take daughter to walmart and then night swimming while you attend a meeting. Whatever you have to do to NOT drink. You can do this ontherightpath!!!

Yeah, that's what I thought, but again, it's not HIS agenda. My sobriety is a breeze, for him, as long as I don't depend on him. It's super easy for him, sit back and point fingers.

In this moment, I am struggling. Very honest with him about it. So I took the kids to dinner instead.

I was just coming here to post this SAME thing. I spoke too soon in my Day Four thread. I said I didn't really go to BBQs and pools and today I went to/am going to both. And I'm DYING. Well, not really. I just want to have a drink so badly, especially because of two other stressful situations that came up. Everyone in my FB feed is sporting nice drinks, some started with Bloody Mary's at 9 o'clock. I don't doubt that group of people are alcoholics because it's always the same, especially summer weekends where there are clear benders going on. So I keep that in mind.

Other people are checking into Brewhouses, now that it's a legit time. It's even harder because I didn't quit because I was at rock bottom. There was nothing special going on. There weren't any DUIs, any bodily aches or pains, any withdrawals, any fighting in my life. Nothing. But I knew it was only going to get worse. A weird part of me wishes I had some big eye opening moment.

With the stress of dieting, taking exams, writing papers, meeting work deadlines, there's an end, hence reward, in sight. I know sobriety in itself is a reward of the greatest kind. Rationally, I already see the vast benefits. But my AV is telling me to set a reward date where I can knock back a few.

I nearly bought myself a little something and then stopped after reasoning through it. If I buy a little something, I'll feel good for an hour, tops. Then I'll need more. And then more. And then more? And then what? I'll be plastered and unable to function. A little tease is going to do nothing. I even thought of getting two plane shots of bacardi to get my through the next few hours. I successfully walked away.

This is so freaking hard. I hate it.

He wants me to moderate. Period. That way I always stay a little sick.

I made it, sober, and yes quite angry at him. I expressed it to him. Was safe and sound in my own bed by 1015..... No hangover today, no wine breath. Just a chip on my shoulder--- but that too shall pass

Way to push through OTRP. Know that can't have been easy.

glad to hear you made it through sans booze!

Sorry to hear the hubby is making this a bit more difficult for you though:( I hope he finds a way to support you a little better.

call your sponsor or someone in your network.

xa-speakers.org to listen to a meeting

ask your higher power how you can be useful to your hubby and children.

I have done all of the above suggestions. It's another nice day, high stress as husband is leaving town tomorrow and he is being ridiculously difficult. It's actually quite disgusting. But now, it's not about how he is acting, it's about how I am. And I'm not reacting very well. I'm as irritable today as I was yesterday. My mind is constantly reverting back to the drink and not allowing me to play the tape all the way thru. One minute at a time right now

Maybe take a moment, breathe, and consider the fact that drinking is actually a major factor in this resentment, rather than continuing to think of drinking as the solution?

D