I hate the nice weather....
I hate the nice weather....
It just gets a grip on me and all I can think about is a drink. I find myself having a perfectly normal conversation, but all the while thinking about how my husband would react if I picked up some wine. But I know as soon as I say I need a meeting, he will feel slighted---- and that will tick me off even more. Cunning baffling powerful. And a load of crap. Sometimes one day at a time seems like an eternity, however I know that this too shall pass.
He of course waited to go to walmart when it's the normal meeting hour. He doesn't want the kids to go with me, he doesn't want the kids to go with him. I told him I am struggling and of course I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. Walmart is open 24 hours. He can go anytime.... Instead he wants to mess with me. I hate him for that. My daughter is being a brat cuz she wants to go night swimming--- there's plenty of time for that too. I'm convinced the world is against me. If I don't pick up a drink tonight it will be a miracle!
He of course waited to go to walmart when it's the normal meeting hour. He doesn't want the kids to go with me, he doesn't want the kids to go with him. I told him I am struggling and of course I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. Walmart is open 24 hours. He can go anytime.... Instead he wants to mess with me. I hate him for that. My daughter is being a brat cuz she wants to go night swimming--- there's plenty of time for that too. I'm convinced the world is against me. If I don't pick up a drink tonight it will be a miracle!
Maybe you can explore online meetings, or ring the local office to organise a lift? public transport?
D
In this moment, I am struggling. Very honest with him about it. So I took the kids to dinner instead.
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Join Date: May 2014
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It just gets a grip on me and all I can think about is a drink. I find myself having a perfectly normal conversation, but all the while thinking about how my husband would react if I picked up some wine. But I know as soon as I say I need a meeting, he will feel slighted---- and that will tick me off even more. Cunning baffling powerful. And a load of crap. Sometimes one day at a time seems like an eternity, however I know that this too shall pass.
Other people are checking into Brewhouses, now that it's a legit time. It's even harder because I didn't quit because I was at rock bottom. There was nothing special going on. There weren't any DUIs, any bodily aches or pains, any withdrawals, any fighting in my life. Nothing. But I knew it was only going to get worse. A weird part of me wishes I had some big eye opening moment.
With the stress of dieting, taking exams, writing papers, meeting work deadlines, there's an end, hence reward, in sight. I know sobriety in itself is a reward of the greatest kind. Rationally, I already see the vast benefits. But my AV is telling me to set a reward date where I can knock back a few.
I nearly bought myself a little something and then stopped after reasoning through it. If I buy a little something, I'll feel good for an hour, tops. Then I'll need more. And then more. And then more? And then what? I'll be plastered and unable to function. A little tease is going to do nothing. I even thought of getting two plane shots of bacardi to get my through the next few hours. I successfully walked away.
This is so freaking hard. I hate it.
I made it, sober, and yes quite angry at him. I expressed it to him. Was safe and sound in my own bed by 1015..... No hangover today, no wine breath. Just a chip on my shoulder--- but that too shall pass
I have done all of the above suggestions. It's another nice day, high stress as husband is leaving town tomorrow and he is being ridiculously difficult. It's actually quite disgusting. But now, it's not about how he is acting, it's about how I am. And I'm not reacting very well. I'm as irritable today as I was yesterday. My mind is constantly reverting back to the drink and not allowing me to play the tape all the way thru. One minute at a time right now
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