I semi-slipped at a birthday today, but.. 20th day sober Today at a birthday family gathering, I drank 4 beers, slowly and calmly This was 6 hours ago, I had and have no want or need for more alcohol Perhaps I don't actually need to be completely strictly alcoholfree always. Perhaps it's fine for me to drink a bit at social events, as I did today. As long as I don't drink alone at home as I did before I know some will say "no! this is just your "AV" speaking" Well.. I think people are different, and have a very different degree of problem with alcohol. Some can't ever never touch alcohol again, while some can as long as they keep it at external social events and only a little bit I think it all comes down to: "how much do I THINK about or crave alcohol?" and "can I stop easily after just a few or do I NEED more?" If I have a problem with those questions, in the moment, I will not drink I'm actually loving my daily sobriety and will continue that with a smile Never again will I buy beers and drink at home alone |
Alcholic person must always stay away from alcohol. 1 beer or 1 bkttle its nkt matter, if u drink 1 beer evrythink gona start again. Drink orange juice. |
I fear for you my friend. But the good news is that if that plan works for you then in my opinion you are probably not an alcoholic.... Be safe tho. G |
Semi-slipped? |
Originally Posted by Makrellen
(Post 4658810)
20th day sober Today at a birthday family gathering, I drank 4 beers, slowly and calmly This was 6 hours ago, I had and have no want or need for more alcohol Perhaps I don't actually need to be completely strictly alcoholfree always. Perhaps it's fine for me to drink a bit at social events, as I did today. As long as I don't drink alone at home as I did before I know some will say "no! this is just your "AV" speaking" Well.. I think people are different, and have a very different degree of problem with alcohol. Some can't ever never touch alcohol again, while some can as long as they keep it at external social events and only a little bit I think it all comes down to: "how much do I THINK about or crave alcohol?" and "can I stop easily after just a few or do I NEED more?" If I have a problem with those questions, in the moment, I will not drink I'm actually loving my daily sobriety and will continue that with a smile Never again will I buy beers and drink at home alone It may well work for you my friend, just the thought of it makes me know it would never work for me I'm too greedy with alcohol. |
Your words from April, in a thread you started, entitled "Will I Ever Learn?": "I guess this is/was classic for many people here.. anyway I keep going back and forth.. binge days, to deep frightening depression, to abstinence for some days, thinking "now I quit!".. then back to drinking again I keep falling into the trap "this is not a problem.. I can drink in weekends only" And I always end up in the dark hole." Best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Clearly, you've been down this "I can moderate it" road before. Best of luck to you. |
I wish you well! Hugs and love to you |
Originally Posted by Mentium
(Post 4658823)
Semi-slipped? |
I will keep listening and feel if there is thoughts or cravings for alcohol And continue daily sobriety, not even drinking on weekends (!) If I feel a problem/urge escalating I will pull back I hope I'm not encouraging others with an alcproblem to drink sometimes. This is just for me.. And this forum has helped me a lot |
Makrellen, it was great you could stop...today. I advise you not to put your guard down. It could be the beginning of a relapse. Beware. Good job today. Just be careful. Take care, Joy |
I have tried this experiment well too often, it never worked for me, good luck! |
People that don't have a drinking problem don't have to restrict how much they drink or how often. Just saying. Good luck to you and if you need us we are always here for you. |
Sigh........ Been there. Done that. My wish is to be permanently flung from that mystical merry-go-round. God willing. |
Originally Posted by huntingtontx
(Post 4658856)
People that don't have a drinking problem don't have to restrict how much they drink or how often. Just saying. Good luck to you and if you need us we are always here for you. But I feel I have truely realized what alcohol is and does, and that drinking like I did was ruining my life. And I don't want that, so I won't I have also learned from my past "oh weekends only" test Today I just had a few. Don't want more |
Originally Posted by Makrellen 20th day sober Today at a birthday family gathering, I drank 4 beers, slowly and calmly This was 6 hours ago, I had and have no want or need for more alcohol Perhaps I don't actually need to be completely strictly alcoholfree always. Perhaps it's fine for me to drink a bit at social events, as I did today. As long as I don't drink alone at home as I did before I know some will say "no! this is just your "AV" speaking" Well.. I think people are different, and have a very different degree of problem with alcohol. Some can't ever never touch alcohol again, while some can as long as they keep it at external social events and only a little bit I think it all comes down to: "how much do I THINK about or crave alcohol?" and "can I stop easily after just a few or do I NEED more?" If I have a problem with those questions, in the moment, I will not drink I'm actually loving my daily sobriety and will continue that with a smile Never again will I buy beers and drink at home alone It seems there are different types of drinkers, i have read some rather perplexing, disturbing, and bizarre stories on here that go something like this: "I was sober for a couple months, then one day i had just 1 drink....... then i couldnt stop myself and before i knew it i had drank 14 cans, it was like it happened by itself and i had no control at all, like someone else took over my body and mind" ^ Personally i NEVER experienced this bizarre phenomenon when i was drinking, if i felt that "just an extra drink" would push me over into the "sweet-spot" of euphoria i would go have an extra 1 or 2, but that's it - i would stop there....... there was no "complete loss of control" like some of the more extreme and bizarre stories on here describe. Even towards the end when i was drinking much more than when i first started, i would have an effective dose of booze and maybe 1 more and stop there. I wouldn't senselessly, unnecessarily, and recklessly go drink an extra 3,4,5,6,7,8 beers like some of the more extreme examples........ that doesnt make sense to me. I tried to binge drink one day just to see what would happen, i ended up in the bathroom puking my guts out 20 minutes later. I would say for the most part, my drinking was pretty consistent. It seems there is a spectrum of sorts and every person is on a different point on that spectrum. |
I did this for awhile and felt like I was successful at it. However in the end I wondered why. Did I feel better for having those few beers? The answer was always no. Prior to my self-control experiment I would binge drink on the weekends. During my self-control experiment I would drink any day because I really didn't feel too bad the next day. It eventually led to me drinking every day AND binge drinking on the weekends. There just is nothing good that comes from alcohol so you have to ask why? Full sobriety is the most rewarding way to live life, it took me until age 38 to learn that, I hope others are faster learners. |
Originally Posted by grubby
(Post 4658870)
^ Personally i NEVER experienced this bizarre phenomenon when i was drinking, if i felt that "just an extra drink" would push me over into the "sweet-spot" of euphoria i would go have an extra 1 or 2, but that's it - i would stop there....... there was no "complete loss of control" like some of the more extreme and bizarre stories on here describe. Everything is on a spectrum..but drinking more than you want to/should/is healthy...blah blah blah is what addiction is about. It is a loss of rational choice in the matter. Are you an alcoholic/addict? |
THIS time it worked. Maybe NEXT time it will work. Eventually your ability to moderate will stop working. Always happens. For some it takes hours, others days, weeks, months, and like me...it took years. But it always stops working. While you are figuring things out, be careful and don't take anyone down with you. |
I just got back from my experimenting. It took months but the truth I know now is I will get drunk eventually if I start drinking. Best of luck. |
I can only speak for myself and my life.. But I realize, that my biggest problems are probably isolation, depression and social anxiety, and alcohol "helped" with that But alcohol became a problem I broke out of that problem, now I must deal with the root problems/causes, instead of covering it all up with substance and momentary feelgood-"fixes" In the big picture, alcohol did'nt help anything, quite the opposite |
I semi-slipped at a birthday today, but.. |
Even if i haven't experienced some of the extreme and bizarre stuff I have read, I don't post a judgement on it. Regardless of how I feel about the posters behavior. I just think they are addicts like the rest of us, just acting out in a way that is not similar to mine. Like a lot of the posters here, I gave moderation a try. At the end of the day, whatever works for you is ok. Blessings. |
I would ask myself why I first came to SR. What brought you here? Maybe go back and read your old posts. Bad memories fade easily and quickly. There is no such thing as semi-slipping. You drank, no matter how you wish to dress it up. I do understand as have been there many times and also believedI could control it. If sobriety is your goal then drinking now and again isn't sobriety. If you don't think you have a problem then that's fine-only you can decide that. I often read on here " a period of abstinence does not mean control" This is so true.It doesn't matter how many days,months,years I am sober. If I drink again I will eventually lose control of my drinking again. |
Maybe you will be the one in a million. I play the lottery once in a while but I don't stake my life on my chances of winning |
Originally Posted by grubby
(Post 4658870)
I am confused about this as well, i've done lots of reading and reading since i signed up here and have been comparing notes as well. It seems there are different types of drinkers, i have read some rather perplexing, disturbing, and bizarre stories on here that go something like this: "I was sober for a couple months, then one day i had just 1 drink....... then i couldnt stop myself and before i knew it i had drank 14 cans, it was like it happened by itself and i had no control at all, like someone else took over my body and mind" ^ Personally i NEVER experienced this bizarre phenomenon when i was drinking, if i felt that "just an extra drink" would push me over into the "sweet-spot" of euphoria i would go have an extra 1 or 2, but that's it - i would stop there....... there was no "complete loss of control" like some of the more extreme and bizarre stories on here describe. Even towards the end when i was drinking much more than when i first started, i would have an effective dose of booze and maybe 1 more and stop there. I wouldn't senselessly, unnecessarily, and recklessly go drink an extra 3,4,5,6,7,8 beers like some of the more extreme examples........ that doesnt make sense to me. I tried to binge drink one day just to see what would happen, i ended up in the bathroom puking my guts out 20 minutes later. I would say for the most part, my drinking was pretty consistent. It seems there is a spectrum of sorts and every person is on a different point on that spectrum. You either stopped or tried to stop for a reason, or perhaps you found no good reason to stop. But your justifications (rationalizations) for continuing to drink are thin if alcohol is causing problems in your life. |
Step one is a bitch. |
I nearly got myself free a number of times - but I convinced myself that the other problems sobriety uncovered were worse than my drinking. I was of course tragically deluded. It's your choice of course Mak...but you quit for a reason - suggesting that a mere 20 days later you can dance a little with the devil again is every alcoholic's dream. It seems there are different types of drinkers, i have read some rather perplexing, disturbing, and bizarre stories on here that go something like this: "I was sober for a couple months, then one day i had just 1 drink....... then i couldnt stop myself and before i knew it i had drank 14 cans, it was like it happened by itself and i had no control at all, like someone else took over my body and mind" but I don't think you'll actually find many here who claim that. The path is a lot more subtle. With me it as always gradual - a couple of drinks here...then a few more there, still more some time later. I was like the mouse who didn't even know he was in the trap. Alcoholism is dangerous because it's so insidious. D |
Mak, Please be careful. I had a little success controlling myself once. So I kept playing with it. In the end I was led back to the same awful place. We care about you and don't want to see you be deceived. :hug: |
For me, I would go months without drinking or sometimes I was able to have only one or two. I prioritized my life just fine and I felt fine. But eventually it would happen and it would throw me into a state of mental chaos whether I was sober or not. It's something I have a hard time keeping in perspective, that I don't have to constantly be on a bender in order to have a drinking problem. I have no desire to try controlled drinking because, unlike many other alcoholics I know, I know I COULD pass that test if I wanted to, I could toe the line. The problem is that eventually I won't want to anymore. Best of luck to you. |
Originally Posted by Raider Even if i haven't experienced some of the extreme and bizarre stuff I have read, I don't post a judgement on it. Regardless of how I feel about the posters behavior. I just think they are addicts like the rest of us, just acting out in a way that is not similar to mine. Like a lot of the posters here, I gave moderation a try. At the end of the day, whatever works for you is ok. Blessings. In the future i will be more careful and be sure to include "in my opinion" or a similar phrase. It's too bad this forum is set to block editing of posts past 15 minutes, i re-read my own post a few minutes ago....... and i agree it does sound a little judgmental. I'll try and choose my words more carefully next time :) back on topic.......
Originally Posted by Makrellen my biggest problems are probably isolation, depression and social anxiety, and alcohol "helped" with that As my head has been clearing up, i've come to realize that alcohol was just a band-aid............ it didnt really do anything for me once the dust settled. Oh, but it certainly came with all kinds of "hidden fees" and fine print......... |
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