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Originally Posted by Robert777 I have heard that phrase going around and relate a lot. I have also heard others saying alcohol stopped working for me. I have been trying to get sober for a long time now but just keep going back to it. If I am honest, I love being drunk and don't want to stop drinking. I am still youngish at 28years of age. The main motivation for me giving up is my family threatening to throw me out of the house. Alcohol has many negative consequences in my life but I still love it dearly, that euphoria is hard to let go off. My life is presently a ruin, i have severe social anxiety disorder and live a quite isolated life with really no purpose. I depend on my family to provide for me so I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Another part of me thinks that me being thrown out of my house would be a big wake up call and help me to make a life for myself. I live a quite luxurious life now, meals all made for me, nice food and drink always in the house. I can get up out of bed whenever I want, stay up till however late I want. So yeah, I don't really have much incentives to get sober. The anxiety is killer in my life but I have suffered like this for so long, I am kind of used to it, going on a decade living like this. So yeah, I never usually post and only lurk but I think it is good for me to share this, maybe I will learn something I am presently unaware of. Thanks, Robert. Don't get me wrong, i loved that warm-fuzzy euphoria that allowed me to temporarily escape from the drudgery of reality too......... but i eventually got to a point where i just didn't enjoy it as much as when i first started. For me at least, it had "stopped working" It sounds like you are not quite there yet............. still not a reason to continue drinking, it only gets worse as it is progressive. If you are not "there" yet, you will be at some point............... its just a matter of time. Or, perhaps it has "stopped" working already and you dont even realize it, answer me this: when you started drinking? What was your dosage back then? What is your dosage up to now? If the dosage is higher now, that is a sign that it is not "working" like it used to |
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
(Post 4635118)
I think I could have been pretty content drinking in a half full septic tank |
Guys I hope to reply to your reply's one by one. I realized it's not me who wants this misery to continue but my despicable addiction. God bless all and thank you for taking the time to comment to me. I am drunk now and regretful and I feel it is wrong for me to speak to you when drunk. I am so grateful for a site like this. Thanks guys for making me feel less alone. Us alkies share a deep bond for life. Take care beloveds. |
Hi and welcome back Robert :) I was pretty good at convincing myself that everything was fine too - but it wasn't and I knew it wasn't. From my experience, the only thing worse than a 28 yo deluding themselves is a 40 yo deluding themselves - and those years can flash unless you do something, believe me. I hope you'll follow through with doing something positive and proactive :) D |
Hey there, I was of two minds when I quit. There was a part of me that desperately wanted to quit and there was a part of me that wanted to keep drinking to the bitter end. But some part of me knew that it was only getting worse and I had to do whatever it took to stop. And part of me wanted to keep drinking. Addiction is complicated... All I can say is that I first started to realize I had a problem when I was in my late twenties. I kept drinking until I was 40 and it got much, much worse. I can't go back, but I'm glad I made the decision to stop eventually. I also, like many of us, had severe social anxiety. I drank alone in my room by the time I stopped. I'm still pretty shy, but my skills in handling social situations are growing. I had therapy for the anxiety and it's helped immensely. But it wouldn't have helped if I were still drinking. I hope you'll find the resolve to pursue sobriety. You've got many wonderful years ahead of you and I hope you'll find a way to enjoy them sober. It's a better route, honestly. :) Be well. |
even the best of families will tire of the drunk and put them out on the street after much suffering for some it is good to be put out for others it can be the beginning of a long road to nowhere if one is alcoholic -- best to stop drinking before the big bottom comes for some the big bottom has been death yes I know it sounds impossible while we are still breathing due to booze some of my friends no longer are MM |
Hi Robert. I'm glad you wanted to start this discussion. We all care about you. As CaptainZ said - early on it's fun & relaxing. We can all agree on that. I loved the way it once made me feel, but over the years I became completely dependent on it. When I finally quit I was drinking 24/7 & couldn't get enough to make me high or happy - I was just numb. Searching for the old euphoria brought me to my knees. I understand how you feel - at 28 I was not ready to give up on the idea that I could still control it and enjoy it. I wish I'd reached out for some help then, before my world fell apart. Part of you realizes you're headed for trouble - please don't give up on a better life for yourself. |
Robert, im brand new to this site, im 27 so basically your age. I have recently (past 8months or so) started getting anxiety. It isnt really social anxiety but a feeling of hopelessness and impending doom. I didnt realize for a few months that the anxiety was amplified quite a bit when i was hungover (even when i was just lethargic the day after drinking) I am by no means attempting to diagnose you but if you have been suffering from anxiety since you were 18, which in many peoples cases (certainly mine) when i started hitting thr booze full time. Perhaps your anxiety could be linked to your drinking or at the very least amplified by it like in my life. Hang in there my man, im only on Day 4 and i havent faced a Friday or Saturday yet |
Why don't you join us at the 24 hours club as a starter where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours? Before you know it, those days do add up and it is a fun way to hold ourselves accountable http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-welcome.html Also you mention that your family provides for you and you don't have to do anything. That definitely will contribute to the self centerdness (have you even thought about what your alcoholism is doing to them?) Anyway, why don't you start volunteering since you don't have to work? That will get you out of yourself and you will meet some good people and break your isolation. Think about it. It would make you grateful for what you have there are many volunteer opportunities. It's up to you, you can chose sobriety, getting off your behind and facing life or you can keep drowning in your bottle. Good luck |
Originally Posted by Robert777
(Post 4634913)
Hi, I have tried before to just use this site to stay sober and it was never enough. The compulsion to drink is just too strong for me. You must have heard the steps mentioned in AA, they are the solution so when you are ready get a sponsor who can take you through them as described in the Big Book. A lot of people go to AA for years until they finally get sober, just keep turning up:-) |
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