You sound like a logical person.

Think about it for a minute, there 100% chances that your anxiety will worsen if you keep drinking as this is a progressive condition.

There are also 100% chances that stopping will allow you to get help and fix your life.

My 50 cents ;-)

Hi Robert. Does alcohol really work for you? From what I read it's helping to keep you a child. But is that something that really 'works' long term? Once you get over the difficult early period I am sure you'll see that sobriety works so much better. It will allow the real you to grow and blossom.

Best of luck. Be happy. Be at peace. Be free from suffering.

Find your inner lion...
 

Do not allow alcohol to get its claws into you. The help you need is not alcohol.

Find your inner lion.

http://i.imgur.com/xk8X0NQ.jpg

Your anxiety is exacerbated by the alcohol. Coming off alcohol physiologically causes central nervous system excitability. That's where your anxiety comes from - fluttery heart, heightened sensations.

In AA often it is said (in regards to a spiritual awakening) - "I didn't see a burning bush or anything, but here's my story."

I think you should bring a box of matches to that bush. Maybe your Higher Power will be there.

You are blessed to have the support of your family. Do you really want to be homeless, living in the streets? Your family sounds like they've had enough. Time to grow up.

It is very difficult for me to do meetings since I suffer from severe social anxiety disorder and feel my real diagnosis should be avoidant personality disorder since I avoid so many things because of my crippling social anxiety.

True, I guess I am just tired of the unending struggle. I am worn out. I have suffered terribly over the years. I am broken and don't want to fight it anymore.

Yes it does. Life doesn't work for me. And what do you mean a child? I am certainly not a child.

Then quit the struggle. Drinking is a liability and continuing to drink will worsen everything you list above. You will suffer more, become more worn out, become more broken and have even less will to fight it. Drinking is the problem, not the solution.

Sometimes I get confused if it is my addiction talking or me?

Total ******** is what it is.

Alcoholism has already got it's claws in me and I am not far from being a chronic daily drinker.

I am well aware of that. But it also gives me temporary freedom from the anxiety while under the influence so I can actually be pretty much myself in front of other people instead of the shameful disgraceful nervous wreck I am when not under it's influence. I can actually look them in the eye and smile.

I was recently sober for two months in AA but got complacent with my meetings around Easter time and am still finding it hard to keep the brakes on.

I have no peace of mind right now, just that stupid ******* obsession to drink. I might drink later or I might just grin and bear it till I get to my AA meeting tomorrow. Maybe I need daily meetings. Terrific. Sigh.

Why not go to a meeting now rather than waiting until tomorrow. Or how about calling your sponsor or some regular numbers? You need to be an active part in your recovery obviously.

I didn't read all replies, so before I forget: Obviously alcohol is NOT working for you.
Please read what you wrote again and tell me, if someone else wrote this you would think alcohol was doing them righteous?

Your problem may be that you go to AA instead of getting a sponsor and working the steps. Going is great but it is not the solution. It is portion of the solution and that's as good as it gets. Half measures availed us nothing

Robert, I don't want to be harsh, but you certainly are a child in how you have described yourself. You appear to be totally dependent upon your parents with no will to be or do otherwise. You may be 28, but you still choose to live as a dependent child. And alcohol is keeping you from emerging from that childhood and making your own independent (non-dependent) way in the world. Yes, there are anxieties in life away from being looked after. But that's the reality of adult life, and we have to learn to live with it because we all have to leave security behind. But we survive and enjoy life even with those uncertainties and anxieties.

Robert,sorry but sitting in a bush drinking dosen't sound fun to me,especially in Dublin,in the rain.

If you got and stayed sober I am sure your anxiety problems would improve.

Keep going to the meetings,lots of AA members suffer with anxiety,share how you feel with others.

Being homeless will be awful for you,no need for that to happen if you put the drink down.

I think I could have been pretty content drinking in a half full septic tank

Don't get me wrong, but i think you didn't yet hit your rock-bottom and if you still stay in your warm and cozy place, nothing will happen.

If you think alcohol is working for you, don't try to quit, instead do it better! Start by leaving that house, find yourself a place to stay, and if needed, a job to pay for it. And then, when nobody is counting the bottles, start doing it seriously. And come back after 3 or 4 months and write about how great alcohol is working for you.
Prove me how wrong i am!