How am I going to do this.
 

I am 32 a mom of a six year old boy and married two years. I am most definitely an alcoholic and I just am TIRED of it. I dont even look in the mirror because of the shame. The anxiety is killing me and its just day one. My husband also suffers and I know he wants to stop too, we talk about it quite often. But I feel I just got to do this whether he can or not. I went to treatment 3 yrs ago and it did nothing for me, I didnt get a lot out of meetings and feel hopeless quite a lot. The very bad experience unfortunately with treatment didnt help either. It was the lowest of the low center basically. but I also wasnt ready as well. I just want some support and inspiration with doing this. Thanks

Hi Jen, What I have heard many times in meetings is people who said they just weren't ready the last time they started going to meetings to quit. I heard this so many times it starts to sound like a broken record. Yet, I can say the same thing myself. I wasn't ready too. For me it took a kick in the rear to wake me up. Some just wake up one morning and finally say ENOUGH! I certainly hope you are ready this time. It is not easy. That anxiety will stay with you for a while. You just have to make that decision and stick with it! Look into other methods of recovery,AVRT, rational recovery etc. I would also suggest trying AA meetings again. Go with an open mind - since you are 'ready' you may see it differently this time. The point is to make the effort to do this. It is not like a switch we can turn off. It takes work and dedication. You mentioned your husband also suffers. Is that your thinking or is it HIS thinking. If he really suffers as well and realizes it, why don't the both of you make a pact to do this together. I think it would be wonderful if the two of you could team up to conquer alcohol. Sit down and discuss it with him. Tell him you are ready and having his support will make it much easier. I was fortunate that my wife quit drinking a few months before I did. And not having someone close to me drinking made it much easier for me. Good luck. Talk to him. Make it a team effort. Congratulations on starting day 1. Hang tough, you'll get through if you stick to it.

:welcome

I'm glad you found us and joined the family. :) I hope the awesome support here can help you stop drinking for good. :hug:

Welcome, Jen! You are right, you have to be ready and you can't make your husband ready. So take care of you. It can be done! Hope to see lots more of you here!

Welcome Jen - this is a great place for support.
I've never regretted the change I made - I know you won't either :)

D

Glad to meet you Jen. You are not alone - we all understand how difficult it is to get started. :)

I hope being here will help you feel less anxious. When I was your age I was still in denial - had no intentions of stopping. Be proud of yourself for seeing the truth about your drinking and wanting a better life. You can do this.

Can you envision yourself 20 years from now still drinking? That was me and how I wish I had wised up and sobered up when I was your age. Do it now and you will never regret it. My sober life is amazing! Yours will be as well :)

Welcome to SR, Jen.