One week sober and barely hanging on...
 

So, as the thread title says, I'm "celebrating" a week of sobriety today. It hardly feels like a celebration, though. The terror and anxiety I'm experiencing are brutal, as well as the physical symptoms that plague me. My mind runs on an obsessive loop: What have I done to myself? Will I heal? Can I even do this??? I admit, dark thoughts of just letting it all go to hell cross my mind, but I'm not going to go back down that road, not again. I've run out of bottoms to hit.

Going for another AA, tomorrow. I've got to do this. As bad as things are, I choose life.

Thank you so much to all who responded so supportively to my earlier thread ("New and needing help!"). You got me through this hellish last week, and I can't express my gratitude for your kindness. You are a great bunch of folks and I feel so lucky to have found you!

P.S. Any further words of wisdom and/or support are, of course, gratefully received!

--Mercy

Hi Mercy

Yep, a lot of us don't find recovery quick. I would just encourage you to be patient with yourself. You ask 'will I heal?'. I think we all heal, but at different speeds. Just because you are not full of joy and energy doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong at all. Be gentle with yourself.

God bless you.

Michael

Hi mercystreet :)

I think it's really important to remember that things will get better. This is not the way it will always be :)

Reach out to all the support you have - find more support if you need it - you can do this - and you'll be so glad you did :)

D

Keep on trucking, It gets better xxxxx

Mercy, good for you, on a week, plus a day!
You can do this, and I am glad you are here for the support you will get from an awesome bunch of folks who have been through it too.

hope today is better for you. hugs
chicory

Just hang in there, it will get better.

Hi Mercy, think of it as a dark tunnel you have to travel through. Every sober day takes you closer to the light (and it's not an oncoming train :) )

Hi gorgeous as dee says it does get easier it's normal too feel the way you do and it's very hard but if you stick it out you will only have to go through this once , it really does ease off with time stik at it xxx

HI Mercy, I am just past a week sober myself, i'm lucky this time, I'm not finding it so hard. I say 'this time' because I have listened to those dark thoughts you talk about so many times, not only have I listened, I have actioned them. Apart from a 30 day period of sobriety early last year, I have since had about 3 consecutive days since.

Choosing to pick up the drink, makes nothing go away, other than perhaps the shakes.......short term gain for long term loss. It doesn't get any better, it doesn't get any easier, each slip just brings more depression, more self destruction, more financial, social, career, friendship loss, more lies, more self isolation.

As many have mentioned on here before, play the tape to the end........doesn't make that first drink seem quite as inviting does it.

You've done so well Mercy, you've managed a week by your own self determination, that is no mean feat. Keep going Mercy, sign into the 24 hour club, check in here regularly and read around SR, take from it as much as you can to help ensure those tempting thoughts aren't actioned. There is a wealth of knowledge here. I would read all the time from others telling me how great sobriety was.....and how it get's easier. I would read but still not truly take it in.......deep down, I was still letting my mind, my AV be in control.

Not this time..........I know it's very early days for me Mercy, but I also feel that this time, I really understand what people meant when talking about the wonders of sobriety, i'm starting to feel it already. I'm sorry you're struggling but stick with it Mercy, you can do this, you really can.

LP

Mercy,

Remember we all struggle here. We know what you are going through. A thought for you - we are not BAD people trying to be GOOD - We are sick people trying to get better. I know it is difficult, so just hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers. One day at a time.

Congrats on the time that you have in!

The common theme in the responses is so true. It gets better. We all understand exactly where you are and remember those feelings. It's hard to see from where you are now that things will change. But they do. It just takes some work to get there.

You CAN do this!

hang on, you are almost through the worst of the physical symptoms! The mental and emotional healing will probably take longer, but you sound like you are ready, and have plans, that is a great start. You WILL start feeling better soon.

Congratulations on a week sober.

Getting well takes time,the early days can be difficult but you will start to feel better.

just don't. Being an alcoholic means that if you continue drinking it will take everything from you....the lot....everything.

Welcome Mercy, you will heal it does get better every day! Not that all days will be all great and happy , but better. Soon you will feel stronger physically and mentally. You CAN do this, we all know you Can! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Hi Mercy, you are doing great. Someone told me to treat yourself like you have the flu the first couple of weeks. Eat well, rest, take care of you. Like others have said, it will get better. The first week or two are the hardest. I am glad you are taking this journey with us. The sober life is so much better. You can do this. One day at a time.

MercyStreet, 1 week sober is FANTASTIC, congratulation. Sounds like to me your gonna make it, rootin for ya. :egypt:

Well done on one week Mercy. Please stick with it; as others have stated, you will heal and get better, so give yourself some time. Have you tried exercise? If not, that may help with the anxiety. It doesn't have to be intense; a brisk walk each day can help immensely.

Mercystreet. Good on you for getting this far. Early days feel like you are scraping along the edge at times....completely understand. But....even though it doesn't feel like it now, that's how you learn how to cope and get through.

These early days are tough....you've done this before. Every one of us here have been there sweetie. We are right here beside you.xx

I was so raw and my thoughts were so jumbled and "in a loop" just like you describe for the first ten days to two weeks.

It's normal. You will feel better very soon. Your brain and nervous system are trying to normalize.

I thought I'd never stop crying and obsessing. I have. Hang in there, it's worth it. The feeling of freedom over the darkness is a wonderful reward.