Notices

One week sober and barely hanging on...

Old 04-14-2014, 12:17 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Santa Barbara
Posts: 3
One week sober and barely hanging on...

So, as the thread title says, I'm "celebrating" a week of sobriety today. It hardly feels like a celebration, though. The terror and anxiety I'm experiencing are brutal, as well as the physical symptoms that plague me. My mind runs on an obsessive loop: What have I done to myself? Will I heal? Can I even do this??? I admit, dark thoughts of just letting it all go to hell cross my mind, but I'm not going to go back down that road, not again. I've run out of bottoms to hit.

Going for another AA, tomorrow. I've got to do this. As bad as things are, I choose life.

Thank you so much to all who responded so supportively to my earlier thread ("New and needing help!"). You got me through this hellish last week, and I can't express my gratitude for your kindness. You are a great bunch of folks and I feel so lucky to have found you!

P.S. Any further words of wisdom and/or support are, of course, gratefully received!

--Mercy
MercyStreet is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 12:26 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Recovering
 
Michael66's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hi Mercy

Yep, a lot of us don't find recovery quick. I would just encourage you to be patient with yourself. You ask 'will I heal?'. I think we all heal, but at different speeds. Just because you are not full of joy and energy doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong at all. Be gentle with yourself.

God bless you.

Michael
Michael66 is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 12:28 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
Hi mercystreet

I think it's really important to remember that things will get better. This is not the way it will always be

Reach out to all the support you have - find more support if you need it - you can do this - and you'll be so glad you did

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 02:55 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Keep on trucking, It gets better xxxxx
KateL is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 03:16 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
chicory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Mercy, good for you, on a week, plus a day!
You can do this, and I am glad you are here for the support you will get from an awesome bunch of folks who have been through it too.

hope today is better for you. hugs
chicory
chicory is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 03:19 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Db1105's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Just hang in there, it will get better.
Db1105 is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 03:24 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Sober since 10th April 2012
 
FeelingGreat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Mercy, think of it as a dark tunnel you have to travel through. Every sober day takes you closer to the light (and it's not an oncoming train )
FeelingGreat is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 03:51 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
savarna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: perth western australia
Posts: 397
Hi gorgeous as dee says it does get easier it's normal too feel the way you do and it's very hard but if you stick it out you will only have to go through this once , it really does ease off with time stik at it xxx
savarna is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 03:56 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
HI Mercy, I am just past a week sober myself, i'm lucky this time, I'm not finding it so hard. I say 'this time' because I have listened to those dark thoughts you talk about so many times, not only have I listened, I have actioned them. Apart from a 30 day period of sobriety early last year, I have since had about 3 consecutive days since.

Choosing to pick up the drink, makes nothing go away, other than perhaps the shakes.......short term gain for long term loss. It doesn't get any better, it doesn't get any easier, each slip just brings more depression, more self destruction, more financial, social, career, friendship loss, more lies, more self isolation.

As many have mentioned on here before, play the tape to the end........doesn't make that first drink seem quite as inviting does it.

You've done so well Mercy, you've managed a week by your own self determination, that is no mean feat. Keep going Mercy, sign into the 24 hour club, check in here regularly and read around SR, take from it as much as you can to help ensure those tempting thoughts aren't actioned. There is a wealth of knowledge here. I would read all the time from others telling me how great sobriety was.....and how it get's easier. I would read but still not truly take it in.......deep down, I was still letting my mind, my AV be in control.

Not this time..........I know it's very early days for me Mercy, but I also feel that this time, I really understand what people meant when talking about the wonders of sobriety, i'm starting to feel it already. I'm sorry you're struggling but stick with it Mercy, you can do this, you really can.

LP
lifetplant is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 04:12 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
AZliving's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 133
Mercy,

Remember we all struggle here. We know what you are going through. A thought for you - we are not BAD people trying to be GOOD - We are sick people trying to get better. I know it is difficult, so just hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers. One day at a time.
AZliving is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 04:39 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Mini Novel Post Writer
 
LadyBlue0527's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Congrats on the time that you have in!

The common theme in the responses is so true. It gets better. We all understand exactly where you are and remember those feelings. It's hard to see from where you are now that things will change. But they do. It just takes some work to get there.

You CAN do this!
LadyBlue0527 is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 04:42 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
MnEman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Posts: 164
hang on, you are almost through the worst of the physical symptoms! The mental and emotional healing will probably take longer, but you sound like you are ready, and have plans, that is a great start. You WILL start feeling better soon.
MnEman is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 04:49 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
AA member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Congratulations on a week sober.

Getting well takes time,the early days can be difficult but you will start to feel better.
heath480 is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 05:31 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Getting there
Posts: 216
just don't. Being an alcoholic means that if you continue drinking it will take everything from you....the lot....everything.
Dejvice is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 05:39 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Amazingglazier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Welcome Mercy, you will heal it does get better every day! Not that all days will be all great and happy , but better. Soon you will feel stronger physically and mentally. You CAN do this, we all know you Can! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
Amazingglazier is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 05:47 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
huntingtontx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Hi Mercy, you are doing great. Someone told me to treat yourself like you have the flu the first couple of weeks. Eat well, rest, take care of you. Like others have said, it will get better. The first week or two are the hardest. I am glad you are taking this journey with us. The sober life is so much better. You can do this. One day at a time.
huntingtontx is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 06:05 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Life Health Prosperity
 
neferkamichael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
MercyStreet, 1 week sober is FANTASTIC, congratulation. Sounds like to me your gonna make it, rootin for ya.
neferkamichael is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 06:12 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
FeenixxRising's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Well done on one week Mercy. Please stick with it; as others have stated, you will heal and get better, so give yourself some time. Have you tried exercise? If not, that may help with the anxiety. It doesn't have to be intense; a brisk walk each day can help immensely.
FeenixxRising is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 06:25 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Mercystreet. Good on you for getting this far. Early days feel like you are scraping along the edge at times....completely understand. But....even though it doesn't feel like it now, that's how you learn how to cope and get through.

These early days are tough....you've done this before. Every one of us here have been there sweetie. We are right here beside you.xx
Croissant is offline  
Old 04-14-2014, 06:33 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I was so raw and my thoughts were so jumbled and "in a loop" just like you describe for the first ten days to two weeks.

It's normal. You will feel better very soon. Your brain and nervous system are trying to normalize.

I thought I'd never stop crying and obsessing. I have. Hang in there, it's worth it. The feeling of freedom over the darkness is a wonderful reward.
biminiblue is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:49 AM.