Rationalization
 

Today's my 9th day clean. I am a binge (not daily) drinker and alcohol has got me nothing but trouble and suffering in my life. The last few hangovers were really bad. Sweating, racing heart etc.

I started training heavily a week ago to the point of severe DOMS and was in bed alternate days between going to the gym. I'm also trying to eat healthy.

But sadly my brain has started the same old tricks again today. It's rationalizing. I don't know how to stop it as when combined with the desire to drink (craving) it is very powerful for that period of time, 20-40 minutes.

These are some of the things I am telling myself to try to trick myself into having a drink. "You need a social life, you can't exist solely between apartment and gym." "Entertainment" "Release" "Catharsis" etc.

I know that my behavior will change radically after having the first couple of drinks. I have no hope of moderation. It will be another binge if I give in and that will wreak havoc on my body.

I also feel like eating some comfort fast food. I've been literally living on salads, boiled chicken and lentil soup all week.

Also in my mind I told myself that this clean run should last till June 1. Am I setting too hard a goal of nearly 2 months as my personal best is 18 days outside of rehab? Even if I do make it to June 1 I have serious doubts about what next. I think that maybe taking the time for a 5 day break (like 25th-30th of every month) may be worth experimenting with.

Try worrying about not drinking today. You can wait until June to worry about drinking in June. It OK to relax your diet now and then too and eat something that tastes good.

First off, congrats on making it 9 days!

I am a little confused though. You said that you have no hope of moderation and that the binging would wreck havoc on your body yet you want to go back to drinking for five days a month? Am I misunderstanding here?

You have made a good decision to come here and post. I am the same as you, binge drinker, not daily and my binges have gotten worse and more frequent. I am about two weeks sober and I do not want to go back to waking up hungover every weekend. My hangovers are starting to spread into the week day and I am miserable. Be patient with yourself. Congrats on the 9 days but it will take time for your mind to become stronger and better able to fight through the craves. Craves are temporary but feeding your alcohol addiction can last a lifetime.

I'm glad to see you back Tony but sorry to see you're still thinking about somehow keeping alcohol in your life.

Going on my experience, as long as you leave the possibility of drinking again open, there's not going to be much real change in your circumstances or situation.

D

I have struggled the past two out of three days but didn't drink. It can be done. I went to meetings and talked to people about what I was feeling. What are you doing for yourself besides working out and minding your diet? There will be some days that you cannot exercise or eat right. What then? I know if I cut myself slack and were to say that I can only drink one day a month it won't only be one drink and it certainly would extend beyond one day. If you have to allow yourself to relax from your regimen I vote eating the comfort food hands down over the booze. You might have a tummy ache when you wake up but you will remember eating the food the night before.

Grats on day nine . the above author is right , it really is a all or nothing game , I used to binge my binges became so common I drank every day . focus on today . but shoot for lifetime sobriety

Congrats on 9 days. I hope you like it enough to make it for good. I found it impossible to go back and moderate xxxx

This was my problem, my mind telling myself.

I thought this and I thought that, most of what I thought was in fact justification and rationalization to drink.

Just because I think it, doesn't make it true.

I had to reach out and listen to others that were sober. I had to let them teach me a thing or two about being sober and living sober. If I would have stayed in my head and in my thoughts, I would not be sober today.

Congratulations on the 9 days. I'm at 5 myself. What I did yesterday when the urge was very strong and the opportunity was there, I told myself... 'Think how ****** you felt just the other day. Depressed, shakes, etc. Don't do it.' And it passed in a half hour or so. So don't think about the months ahead. When your mind starts to work, you just have to motor through those few minutes.

Goose

Today was tough. But I made it thru because a)I took a nap and b)I forced myself to go to the gym because I knew that if I didn't then tomorrow wouldn't be too good for me as the gym is closed on Mondays. So I had a good workout and now I have the endorphins going.

But I was very tempted when an attractive European lady came into the chicken restaurant that I went to after my workout and asked for beer (which the restaurant doesn't serve). Due to the language barrier between her and the waiter I explained to her that there's a nice bar just a few buildings down. So basically I passed up on sex or at least a phone number. She was very friendly and social I could definitely have said "I'll walk you there".

It's not all or nothing for me. I just want to not binge. In the interest of my health and focus I do want to keep this clean run going as long as I can. But I don't take things that seriously to make it all or nothing. What I do hate is binge drinking.

And I train very hard when I do (though I am in terrible form now) so the pain is fun too on the next day even if I can't work out.

I wanted that too Tony desperately.
But once alcohol entered my system all bets were off.

I have no control over my alcohol intake - when I accepted that things got a lot better.

My addiction therapist said the reason they don't advise dieting when first quitting is because your chance of success drastically decreases when you are trying to "quit" more than one thing at a time.

Maybe try just eating relatively healthy with some treats occasionally so you aren't under so much stress and pressure? Your diet sounds depressing (no offense!). :~p I can say that personally the more restrictive my diet, the more I crave a drink.

Pretty sure of your self with the ladies eh Tony?

Like the admiral sez, it's all or nothing. You got some good advice (experience) from the SR folks. Try not too hard to rationalize the irrational.

Five days? To drink? That's called binging. I thought you were here to quit binging. Your thread title is correct, you are rationalizing drinking.

I failed yesterday. Heavily.

What is your plan moving forward? Commit to sobriety?

I'm sorry to hear that Tony.

I think you really need to accept, like I did, that your relationship with alcohol is always going to be this way.

The only real way forward is not drinking at all?..
D

That is scary, man.