the FIRST one is my killer

Stay away from them if you cannot handle people drinking around you. If you have to, get a glass of coke, and just say I'm fine. Carry it all the time, don't drink it all, no-one will offer you another drink (should not).
If you can handle it, just be careful. I have friends that have stopped, but my SD and son in law come round here and get pissed, leaving bottle all over the shop.
At least, if W walks, that will stop I suppose :(

I'd have a heart to heart with him. Get it all out in the open. You don't need to spill all the gory details but just tell him that you're at the stage where alcohol doesn't do you any good.

I wasn't able to even see that many friends when I was drinking. My social circle dwindled to a mere few who had their own problems with alcohol. I was too ashamed of myself to see most people but now I'm sober my social life is so much better because I'm actually doing well in my life and have more confidence in sobriety and that shines through.

Once your friend sees you're happier without alcohol he'll start to lay off on those questions. The only reason these people want u to drink is so they can feel more comfortable drinking. It's probably uncomfortable for them to sit there with a beer while you're having a soft drink and that's perfectly reasonable. You just need to make him feel with comfortable with whatever he decides to do and I'm sure the favour will be reciprocated.

Most of my friends are drinkers, some are hardcore like I was.... I don't think I will ever stop associating with them, I will leave that decision to them. I am definitely minimizing my interaction with them in my early stages of recovery and most of them know that I quit drinking. What I really hope is that by setting a good example, some of them might realize that you can have fun without a drink in your hand....

Good friends don't say that. In my experience, people who says those types of things to you also have their own drinking problem. Misery loves company. I just went through this with an old friend of mine from Florida. I knew I was going down there to visit for a few days and that I'd run into her. I brought up my concern at my AA meeting and several members gave me great advice of how to handle it. The advice worked! I made sure to be firm but confident in my sobriety and tell her before I even got down there that I had a problem for years and that I was clean and sober and grateful. She never said a word to me about it and the visit with my other friends was great. I have also transitioned our relationship and do not consider her a friend anymore, she is more of a friendly acquaintance. It's just one of those things you have to do if your sobriety is important enough to you.

I have drinking friends but they would kill me if they saw me drinking. Friends who want you to drink aren't

If someone questions my not drinking I just ask them why it bothers them that I'm not drinking. Makes them look at themselves...

I have said that I don't drink anymore because I felt the tail was starting to wag the dog. Most people accept that, they do not need to know the details. I do have an old drinking buddy that couldn't accept my sobriety, I haven't seen him since I quit drinking.

The choice to not drink is yours, the issue about it is theirs. Don't let their hangups override your choice.