Outed at work -- your take?
 

I was just chatting with two colleagues (C1 & C2). C1 knows that I quit drinking, no more about it. We discussed having an academic year-end party for students. Here they go, I'm standing right there:

C2: (Courage) loves a party!
C1: No she doesn't.
C2: Have you seen her in action?
C1: No, let me tell you, she quit drinking.
C2: Really?
C1: Yeah, she doesn't drink anymore, there's no action there.
C2: Oh, that's no fun.

Should I tell C1 that she was out of line, or leave it?

I would personally leave it. They're obviously terminally stupid. xxxxx

Is any of what they said untrue?

Sounds like getting involved would just be ego driven.

Id leave it alone. Look at it this way, C1 broke the news for you, instead of you having to explain it at the party to C2.

I love the adage, what other people think is none of my business.

It saves me a lot of drama.

Your sobriety will speak for you. Maintain it.

What counts if that you are sober.

C1+C2 = 0 time to waste.
LOL!!

I've found the best way to make sure no one spreads my personal business is to keep it to myself. ;)

Let it go. Be proud in your sobriety.

BTW... I feel sorry for anyone who thinks they need alcohol to have fun. We know better.

oh courage I'm sorry this happened to you.

I look at this in another way. C1 is on your side, proud of you and sticking up for you. Saying what a good thing you've done etc and telling C2 they are wrong/out of line for keep trying to bring up your drinking past.

It wasn't said in gossip or maliciously,just a matter of fact thing. I wouldn't say anything. Hold your head high and be mighty proud of yourself. Your colleague is. I'm sure neither colleague mentions it again

People talk about other people all the time whether we want them to or not. It's not in the list of things you can change anyway, so why worry, right?

I don't see any value in teling ANY co-worker that I am an alcoholic. It's not something I would ever discuss with anyone I work with, ever.

Leave it. It doesn't sound like anything malicious was said.

Best not getting into it with them, it's probably not going to achieve anything, what you think is the most important thing!! :)

What others think about you is none of your business. Leave it at that. People that judge others do so because they usually have their own issues they don't want to face or want people to know. You owe no one an explanation.

I agree with everyone. But I do not believe C1 said you were an alcoholic.

Just that you don't drink these days. Now that can be fun!

I have more fun sober than I ever did drunk....but there will always be C2s out there.

There will always be C1s too - I'm not sure what you can do about this once the horse has bolted, to be honest.

What are you feeling about this right now Courage?

D

Meh, I'd just focus on my recovery and not worry about them. I've had way worse said about me. :~p

Exactly what Kate says!
There is a saying in Al Anon: What other people think of me is none of my business. It took me a while to truly get it. Anyway, just remember that you can't fix stupid lol

I agree that C1 didn't say "she quit because she was such an out-of-control, disgusting mess." The cat's out of the bag now. If anyone comments about your lack of imbibing, just chuckle and shrug it off and move aside.

People get used to it and after awhile really don't care. They are much more wrapped up in themselves than in your business.

This might be a blessing in disguise: now that you have a new "reputation" to uphold, you may find more public accountability in maintaining your sobriety when you're at functions. No more secret vacillations about work.

Thanks all. This really isn't bugging me, I just thought it was one of those things where SR would have interesting feedback -- and I was right.

I'm not going to speculate about either person. Oh, except C2 is an idiot, but I already knew that. I think it's interesting that I thought it was a big deal when I told C1 that I wasn't drinking (and I had reason to do so), but she apparently doesn't think of it that way.

do you know what you were doing/saying when you did drink with them in your past?