Guilt
 

Hey everyone. I'm having extreme feelings of guilt and just need some encouragement to make it through my day. Thanks.

Stay, what is wrong and what are you feeling guilty about?

Oh that godawful guilt. It and I are strange bedfellows for sure.
I always found it helped me so much to offload it here.

Something so very cathartic about putting it in words, and putting it out there, help you realize that you are not alone, and chances are, whatever it is, one of us can trump it... :)

I've been drinking and want to get back on track. Things in my life would be going so much better if I would just stop. I guess I'm just having post alcohol blues.

I used to call them the "Wah wahs". Your brain is so jacked up from the alcohol, you can't even think straight. Very very normal is very early sobriety.

As long as you're drinking you're going to feel guilt. Put the bottle down and start over tomorrow.

AO, thats exactly what it is. It's even hard to put how feel into words on here because I can't think!

Least, I have no alcohol left and am currently at work for the next 8hrs. Last night I went to bed and said I'd start fresh today then I woke up feeling like this. Nursing a hangover at work sucks...

Try to lose the guilt because that is what I always found got int the way of moving forward. Put the past where it belongs xxxxxx

Kate, I want to let it go but keep thinking about it constantly. I feel like screaming on the inside. I've wasted another month, another week, another day of life doing this to myself.

The guilt/fear/shame/anxiety is chemically induced from the alcohol . Get through these rough 8 hours and go home and try to get some rest. Hydrate hydrate hydrate.

You never have to put yourself through this again.

AO, I have to try hard to keep that in mind. Sometimes I start to feel like those feelings are actually who I am but its the alcohol causing me to change.

Hi StayStrong,

What's done is done, there's nothing you can do about the past unless you have a time machine! The only choice you can make is what to do from here on. I feel guilt too about the things I've done whilst drunk and the impact it's had on my life and my partner, but it's done and you can only change the present.

Get out and actually do something to keep yourself occupied and away from drinking. Go for a walk, clean the house, cook something, whatever. Not only will it keep your mind focused on positive things, but it will show you that you can easily accomplish things without drinking. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself only intensifies the guilt, it's a vicious cycle.

Scott, thanks for the recommendations. I will definitely take a walk on my lunch break to hopefully feel a little better. Letting go of past mistakes is a challenge for me so its good to have a reminder that moving forward is the only healthy option.

Good luck! You can do this! You stay strong!!!

turning point
 

I remember those long hung over days at work
and then so many times once I got home
I would start the drinking and drugs all over yet again
almost as if I had forgotten about my day from hell

I hope that this will be the turning point for you

sure does get better once we are not drinking

Mountainman

MMB - That thought to just drink again to not feel these feelings crossed my mind. Posting on here and getting some feedback is helping me keep in mind that option will never give me the life I want. I don't want to feel like this again tomorrow. Thanks

Don't drink staystrong ... It only prolongs the guilt and remorse. Its a vicious cycle. Can you sign into the 24hr club?

SeaScape - I will sign in for the 24 hour club. The thoughts of the "relief" I'd feel from another drink tonight have been fairly strong this morning so I've been reaching out for support on SR and a close family member as well. I absolutely do not want to have these feelings tomorrow.

Yes exactly ! I spent so many years wither drunk or hungover. I legitimately did not have an inkling who I was.

I thought I was an anxious, guilt ridden, weak and wobbly hot mess.

Turns out, after a few months, Im finding out I'm a pretty tough broad. And gentle to boot. :)

But you gotta put the bottle down for the fog to start to lift. Otherwise its just a never ending cycle of doom and gloom.

Sign in! Try to remember that you only get 2-3 hrs of "relief" in the evening before the next full day of hell. That's what I tell myself to get out of the cycle- maybe that will help :)

Staystrong -
AlphaOmega is right. Some people have a particularly BAD anxiety reaction (and by extension all the guilt, etc.) after a bout of heavy drinking. It's because alcohol is a depressant, so when we drink a lot, our brain goes, "Oh - well, we don't need that "calming" natural neurotransmitter in the brain, with all this alcohol on board!", and your brain cuts back on production of the naturally occurring GABA that would calm your brain down. THEN - you abruptly stop drinking, blood alcohol falls, and whoa - your brain wasn't ready for this! It's not making it's normal amount of GABA to keep you calm and rational. It takes time for your brain to catch up. It will - if you stop drinking. Even a few drinks tonight will only make this guilt and anxiety linger on for tomorrow. This alone makes not drinking tonight a fantastic idea. Save yourself the continued torture...I know, I was so there - every weekend, I was right where you are now, and it sucked. Now, my anxiety is all but GONE. And the guilt went with it. I'm not proud of things I've done drunk, or how long I drank, but I'm not thinking I'm inherently 'evil' for it either. I can look at everything now more rationally.

SillyString - Thanks for your feedback. I can't wait for my anxiety to lessen! Its been very comforting to read everyone's comments reminding me how toxic alcohol is. I'm just so confused in certain areas of my life and alcohol is making it worse. Ugh!:headbange

Staystrong -
Sure, it's hard to think clearly about anything when you are so 'distracted' by the terrible guilt and anxiety. I knew that I was putting off dealing with important things...they always went into my mental "later" file, because I was so consumed with either drinking, recovering from drinking, or planning and anticipating the next binge time, that I couldn't think my way through anything that required more than a moment's thought.

I really had a very bad last withdrawal, mentally and physically, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I too drank for relief, and it was so, so fleeting - and I wound up with 3 day hangovers/withdrawals...all for the 1-3 hrs of 'relief' that I could remember of the drinking night. What kind of relief is THAT?

I think so many of us have been in your shoes right now...and know this. This WILL pass. It will. If you think in terms of this being a physiological reaction vs. you being a "bad" person, I think that will help. Tomorrow will probably even seem much better by comparison. And then, it just gets better and clearer.

You are not alone.

I have extreme guilt myself. You are not alone. We can't be horrible people. We have a problem. Please don't berate yourself.

I've almost made it through my day. Hands are a bit shaky and I can't wait to be home. My feeling of guilt has lessened but my anxiety is awful. I'm glad I reached out on SR. I have so many reasons to not drink but talking through it makes me feel I'm not all alone in it. I pray for a good night's rest and peace of mind.

This thread has helped me too stay strong so thanks for posting. Just about feeling a panic attack coming on over this constant battle in my head. So need to relax. I hope you are okay SS33 x

Goldcoast, i'm doing "ok". Fatigued and restless with a headache. I so badly need a good night's sleep tonight.

Just letting everybody know, I did not give into my urge for a temporary fix by drinking more. I took my dog for a walk and watched a few podcasts on spirituality. Resting with some tea now and praying for a better day tomorrow.

Well done SS - Left foot, right foot x

Helping other people is a reliable antidote for guilt.