Sin City Sobriety
 

Fifty-Three days for me today, and so far one day / one night in Vegas behind me.

I've got over a week left.

LAAAAASSS VEEGAAASSSSSS..... the very epicenter of alcohol and it's allure and glorification! Free booze everywhere.

Yesterday I had a couple of fleeting thoughts - not quite 'gee maybe I could drink just a little' thoughts, but more like brief images of joining my colleagues and it being "fine". Had to consciously refocus my thoughts to playing out the tape and reminding myself where that would lead.

I'm sure I will make it through this trip without drinking, but I hadn't expected to have those images crop up so soon and sudden. Anyway, gonna find myself a meeting this evening and start my day out going to the gym and I know that I will honor my sobriety and I know that the days ahead will hold a lot of insights as I watch others' partake of alcohol and the activities of the events revolve around alcohol. I know too that these probably won't be the last of the images or the feelings that arise about my own use, my own alcoholism, perhaps even temptations.... but I am going to log on here when I can. I am going to get to a few meetings. I am going to fade the situations that are really high-risk and focus on my sobriety and my health throughout this trip.

I will appreciate thoughts, prayers, intentions being sent my way by any of you who are so-inclined.... I count you in the mysterious circle of influence that I consider my Higher Power.

Have a great SOBER day everyone.

:ring

Remember, if you can stay sober there, you probably defeated it.

Cyber-prayers are winging their way to you right now, FreeOwl. But I somehow think you won't be needing them! :c007:

I imagine that is very difficult, especially on a work trip, where you cannot really skip certain activities or dinners, or just walk away.

You sound very determined, mindful and focused, with a plan to go to meetings. I think you will succeed.

well.... funny you should say that. A couple years ago I did 10 days sober here and it was a really rewarding experience. Then, I made the decision to go back out and practice 'moderate drinking'.

The following year I came here and was an absolute train wreck. I'm fortunate nothing horrific came of it and I somehow managed to not totally blow my career.....

But, there again; I had perhaps 'defeated it' at the time but then I chose to stop defeating it.

It showed me how easily we can go from 'defeating it' right back into an ever-worse place.

I was in Vegas last year. Please do better than I did.

Oh Vegas. Yes, I recall (modularly) my last visit there included 2 days in bed after an all nighter.

No, AO, you can not keep up with the big dogs because you don't supplement with cocaine and amphetamines.

I never really could "hang". Pun intended. ;)

Next time I go will include hiking, spa treatments and more Cirque than you can shake a fist at.

My favorite sober time to people watch was around 7:00 am when I went down for coffee. What a motley crew and melange of left overs still trying to keep their buzzes going from the previous night.

****{shudder}}}

When I get that jealous feeling about everyone else drinking, why can't I, I tell myself, 'you have already spent more time than anyone should be allowed, partying, now you get to enjoy the other things' And there are lots of other things. I like Alpha's idea of people watching at 7 a.m., take in some great shows, do some light gambling (if its safe), enjoy the fat buffets, and the best part, remember and reflect on your day. Be grateful that when you wake up, you won't have to try to remember all the things you did and said in front of your colleagues. No need to be that guy. I am 'betting' on you! Best wishes.

thank you!!

And yes! That's one of the strategies I use too... I tell myself "listen; you've had more partying and boozing and whooping-it-up in your lifetime than a lot of people could pack into four lifetimes.... you're not missing anything and you KNOW where it leads... enjoy the next half of your life in a different, deeper way"

That does help me refocus.

Thank you all for your words and thoughts and support.

:ring

I am in Vegas at least once a month, albeit not on the Strip. When on the Strip it is a lot harder to remain focused and sober. I know that the walk through the casino floor in the afternoon after meetings, the thought of drinking can be pretty overwhelming. I try to get out for a run then shower and treat myself to a nice dinner. Hard in the moment, but you will be very thankful in the morning (especially when you see someone in the morning that has been up all night drinking and they look/smell like death).

You sound determined and mindful and I know you will get through it sober!!

Vegas is a big trigger for me - a big one - and even though I've got time and no desire and I'm doing well at almost 1.5 years I've made a conscious decision not to ever step foot in that city again with friends or by choice. I commend you for your resolve in a place where it is soooooo challenging.

I too will have to hit Nevada for work - albeit not the strip but close - and I know that will be fine but it is definitely a challenge.

Prayers your way. Heard about this Vegas place, sure I'm not missing much ;)

Glad you are taking steps to maintain your sobriety.

I'm sure you'll be OK FreeOwl. Just focus, and remember at all times you're a non drinker :)

D

I used to think that, Lee.

I remember being on vacation and committing to not drinking...I got through a few days of pubs clubs and casinos with no problems staying sober, so I thought I'd defeated it too...

I thought 'just one celebratory victory beer'....

Don't remember too much of the rest of the holiday.

Addiction is patient and relentless.

D

I was often one of those people. I would stumble back into my hotel around 7:00 or 8:00 in the morning and somehow find my room. I'd then sleep all day an wake up with a horrible evening hangover. Ugh, looking back it was truly horrible.

Next trip I'll be back to being the sober person sipping coffee and watching others stumble back to their rooms.

Stay strong FreeOwl. Alcohol is a big temptation in Las Vegas, but there are other things to do. You could treat yourself to a few meals at some of the many great restaurants that line the Strip (I'm assuming you're on or near the Strip). Shows are also an option. Personally, I've always enjoyed just walking the strip and checking out the new hotels that had been built in my absence.

Honestly, before I started having problems with alcohol, one of my favorite things to do in LA was to get up early (easy to do since I was on East Coast time), buy a paper, and sit in the hotel's coffee shop restaurant or buffet and eat, drink coffee and read the paper cover to cover.

Thanks so much for this thread, Owl. I'm going to Austin next week for a vendor convention and am getting emails every, flipping day about this casino night, that happy hour, this wine tasting event, etc., etc. I'm getting my plan in place & these responses & suggestions will fit nicely in the toolbox I'm packing to take along with me.

Keep on trucking & checking in. I'm here cheering you on!! :cheer

thanks everyone..... HeartsAfire!! Austin!!! Yeah, there's another town that makes it very difficult!! I will keep you in my thoughts and send you prayers and energy for that one.

But - I've done Austin without booze or trouble and had a fantastic time. One way I did that was by getting up early and hitting Central Crossfit in the am's and starting my day off healthy.

Which I did here in Vegas today. After a very long day of sessions, the whole crew including a rowdy pack of Aussies were keyed up to hit the pub for some "serious beer drinking".

I took a cab to a whole foods market and bought piles of fresh fruits and veggies for morning smoothies, water, probiotics and healthy snacks.

Now... I'm going to bed.

At 9:30.

Two days down!!!

:ring

Another beautiful sunrise.... a 5am start.... a great workout in the gym.... enjoyed the morning outside for a bit....

A healthy raw-fresh smoothie.....

Here we go; Day Three.

:ring

well.... today was a little bit harder. Several times throughout the day, as others all talked about beer, beer, beer... drinking, drinking, drinking....

I kept having plaguing thoughts about how all of this business culture seems to so revolve around booze.

Being in situations where all the "power players" view drinking as a part of the business lifecycle and transaction. Expectations that you drink if you're to be seen as capable or worthy.

I vacillated between feeling sad about it and angry about it.

It's really frustrating to me that a group of professionals can't seem to go an hour without a reference to booze as the central focus of life, our jobs and everything.

I was able to play out the tape several times in counter-response to my AV trying to suggest that I could surely just have a beer here and there to keep up appearances....

But no. That's not how I roll. If I allow "a beer here and there", the line defining the boundary of "here and there" just grows and grows and grows. And frankly, if I am seen as lesser or not worthy by anyone because I choose not to drink - they're not anyone I want to be valued by.

I bagged out and did my own thing for dinner and headed back to my room to post this and read and go to bed early again, and I feel good and I feel strong but it was unsettling to have to wrestle through those feelings.

Haven't been able to get to a meeting yet so keep the good vibes coming my way if you will please. Thanks all.

:ring

Good vibes on their way.

You are almost done with this challenge. And you will be soooooo much stronger as a result.

Inspirational you are. :)

Free owl - I work with a very heavy drinking business culture. People bring cases of beer to internal meetings and pass out bottles of wine for people who made their goals. Once I made a joke in one of these meetings, 'I hope no one here is an alcoholic with all this booze around.' I got blank stares as if I'd just told everyone did you ever see a spotted unicorn. What I've learned is this, a lot of self proclaimed type A business people are completely ignorant of any and all social or medical problems. Their complete narcissistic world view looks at people with problems as weaklings to be trampled with social Darwinism might. It saddens me that our society has not evolved enough to be sensitive to those individuals not like themselves.

Someone posted on a thread that when you look at alcohol look at it as if it was labled "Rat Poison". It is funny that it stuck in my mind like that. Now everytime I see a bottle of booze, can of beer, someone drinking, even an advertisment, I see "Rat Poison" and think YUCK, why would anyone drink that crap! That stuff is meant to kill you or make you extremely sick. Then I recall how sick I use to become and how I would promise my body that I would NEVER make it suffer from the poison called alcohol.

Yeah Tang.... I have seen similar things. And honestly, I think a part of that reaction is a deep-down awareness in many of those people that they themselves have a problem.

I am frequently the youngest guy in these rooms.... and when I look around, nearly EVERY one of my colleagues are overweight. Their bellies are heavy and distended. Their eyes sag, their faces droop, their skin is more wrinkled than it ought to be.

Even the younger ones - when you look closely - walk around in bodies that testify to their lack of physical fitness and their sacrifice of sleep and joy. Their lives revolve around work, and work revolves around drinking. It's a cycle that draws them in and alcohol becomes a sort of fuel to sustain it. Maybe they're not "alcoholics"..... but hitting the bar every night of the week for several hours to guzzle back 3-8 drinks (or more) and then go to bed and get up and do it all over again? Well, even if that's NOT alcoholism.... what way to LIVE is that?

I got eight good hours of sleep last night. I'm going to hit the gym and make a raw fruit and green smoothie for breakfast and head out for the day's events.... as these upcoming days go by, I know that I will watch many of my colleagues become increasingly weary and beaten down. They will fuel late nights with booze and fatty foods, go to bed having taken in thousands more calories than their bodies require, wake up early and bleary from their escapades the night before and only make it through to the next cocktail hour by ingesting great volumes of caffeine. Some, I know, will slip away to their rooms or one of the many 24hrs a day bars to have a quick drink to keep them going.... some will reek of alcohol all day long.

I will observe this from a place of knowing that we all know quite well, and I will keep on reminding myself of the many reasons I want to stay right where I am; in sobriety.

Thanks for your help.

:ring

Stay focused...
 

FreeOwl...Great observation! I use to see drinkers as "HAVING ALL THE FUN"....but, in truth and being of sober mind, being intoxicated is not real fun. The high doesn't last. The laughs are chemically induced and the moods are false. Even personalities are masked. That's not the kind of people I like to be around or person I would like to be. Sometimes it is good to see what you don't want so you can concentrate on what you really want out of this wonderful life we have been given. :c011:

came up to my room for lunch break. Nearly four hours of execs speaking on stage today and I noticed some commonalities among them;

A noticeable paunch bursting around their midsections
Double and at times even triple chins
Fading or total absence of musculature
Skin coloration that just doesnt seem healthy

Are they alcoholics? Well who knows... maybe some of them are. But I personally know a number of them and I do know that they drink frequently, in some of their cases - every day. So whether alcoholic or not...even the ones who I've only ever seen have a few beers; it's clear to me that alcohol contributes to some things that I don't want.

I want to be healthy. I want to have a long life to be able to be doing active, outdoor, fun things with my kids for a long, long time. Hell... I want to be doing active, outdoor, fun things with my grandkids.

Anyway, it was a refreshing thought. As I sat there having occasional images of these leaders doing what they do to be leaders and feeling a little tug of doubt or concern that I'll never be 'them' because I don't drink and therefore won't be one of the club...... It was really nice to be able to realize that maybe I won't be part of the club or one of them, but I don't WANT to.

Then again.... maybe I'll be a leader of leaders and be that fit, healthy, skin-glowing, well-balanced, non-drinking example of a different way.

:)

And Vegas ticks on....

You will make a great leader! Heck, you are already a smart, observant, positively terrific person! I'm proud of you...☆♡☆

Thank you Chloe!!

Made it through another day and evening. Feels good and encouraging.... Perhaps I can be a role model for those like me one day, who might be out in the audience wishing there were someone to look up to in leadership who embodied healthfulness and lived a choice of sobriety.... someone who could make it through his presentation without a reference to drinking.... someone who made a decision to take another path.

:)

anyway... it was a good day. I had some incredible sushi, green tea and water. And now I'm gonna work on a project for my girlfriend and go to bed.

Vegas on a Friday night.

:ring

I heard the owl call my name
 

FreeOwl, This world needs more peoplle like you! When I was young I was given a poster with pairs of bare feet facing in one direction and one pair of bare feet facing the opposite direction. At the bottom I was told it read, "I like your, you're different". When people meet you they will be attracted because you are different. There will be something irrestable about how your eyes sparkle, how you carry youself when you walk, how clever your mind is and how well you communicate. It will be because you are fully alive and fully in tune with everything. So rare...so different..so YOU! I like you, stay different and you'll make a difference! ☆♡☆ ChloRo :tyou

awwww shucks.... that made me smile big!

also it's really funny you said that thing about the feet.... I took this photo for my mom this morning after my run up and down the Vegas strip at 6am;

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f...roovn/feet.jpg

It's another sunny beautiful day and as I stood in a patch of that sun, listening to birds sing, feeling energized by my run and the grass underfoot... I was grateful for so many things.

Not the least of which that I was not any of those drunks, homeless folks, or drunk homeless folks I passed along my run today.

:ring