25 year old alcoholic - Sober 6 days today.
 

Hi not sure if I should be posting this here or what not? anyways.. New here been lurking for a few days on here...

Aaron, 25, I have been drinking heavily for 4 years, and drinking for 7 I should have never touched that first beer, I have an addictive personality, so that and alcohol do not mix, It all started out like a social thing one or two beers and I was done no worries as sport was my life… but as time went on.. I stopped sports I use to love as booze got addictive with it being a thing to do on every weekend and thats when It got out of control. I went from 2-3 times a week to everyday morning till bed, this horrible drug thats “legal” destroys everything in everyway, my goals, looks, mind. Everything. I would normally drink beer but would drink anything I could get my hands on.. and when I couldn't afford my favourite drop of rum, vodka or bourbon, I would go all out on 4-5 litre boxes of port tawny wine which are around 60 standard drinks I would drink them in a couple of days. Very cheap stuff, I knew it was bad when I would carry spares in the car, hide boxes of port in my room, and go for walks with it in a sports drink bottles when I was on the way to a pub or whatever I was doing drunk, everywhere I went I needed it, 30 mins without it I would get anxious and feel horrible, I would even steal my friends stuff to sell just to get it if I ran out. I have gotten stupid tattoos drunk, driven drunk so many times I should be locked up. I have broken many bones, hit by a car twice, been in many fights, banned from clubs, committed a home invasion with another alcoholic just to get money for it, stolen from liquor stores, and somehow out of all this I only have the 1 D.U.I which I blew at .298 BAC, which left me 2 years on probation and 2 years with no licence to make my life even worse. The **** you do when your drunk it’s such a waste, and a shame, at the time I didn’t care, I just wanted to be drunk. I tried quitting time after time when I was drunk saying "never again" “last time…today” time went on I would continue to drink up to 12-15 beers a day or 2-4 litres of cask wine. The alcohol wasn't even making me feel the buzz anymore, so I found other substances "heroin, pot, speed etc. " that made things even worse… Don't know how I'm alive to be honest. I hit my lowest point when I woke up in a junkies house sipping wine at 6am from how bad withdrawel was. At this stage I almost gave up on life, But somehow after feeling so sick for so long.. I slowed down for a bit by getting back into fitness but still drinking everyday which didn’t help fitness wise, mainly just wine and beer still, stayed off the harder drugs, alcohol got me off that stuff, I had the odd day off here and there, but would sleep, binge eat etc. Again… after trying to ween myself off it, I was struggling with that and also needed money all the time to fuel my addiction so I sold most items I ever owned including my gym equipment which was worth a bit. I got so much cash I spent 90 percent of it on alcohol, So this was most of last year 2013 and I start noticing the hangovers were getting bad, like 2 day hangovers… and I could not function. I knew I had to make a change as I found out I was having my first child to my lovely partner who by the way as had to put up with all this ********, and my father offered me work in his business which was an upper for me since I had been unemployed for a long time, due to alcohol/drugs of course. I was still drinking though pretty much everyday, but last week I woke up feeling dreadful and sick. I walked to the fridge to bite the hair on the dog, with a little bit of rum left, I picked it up and thought… "No No No"… this has to stop. I tipped it out, removed alcohol from the house. I am now finally into day 6 of being sober, first time in Years, I feel terrible but good at the same time. I’m still nervous, anxious, can’t sleep, sweats, mild depression & mood swings. I’m eating alot, but the drink is still on my mine all day, I hate it. Life without alcohol will be very hard and everyone I know pretty much drinks like my uncles who are all alcoholics, and they drink A LOT. One of my uncles drinks up to 30-40 beers a day, and that’s no joke. I don’t know how he’s not dead, must be the genes keeping us alive, I know if I pick up the drink again I will have to go through it all again Sorry for this long post, I wish all in sober recovery all the best. Alcohol is such a demon! I want my life back.:ring

Hi and welcome aaron :)

I hope you'll stick around - I found sober support was a necessity when I was trying to build a sober life. My old life and all my friends were pretty much booze sodden.

It was hard at times but so worth it - I really like being the person I knew I always could be, y'know? :)

D

Heyo Aaron, welcome to SR. I am 26 years old and on day 8. I completely understand how you are feeling right now. I was drinking pretty heavily towards the end as well, and was losing everything. Keep it up though! We got this!

thanks guys this forum helps alot, keeps my mind off things like .. "drinking" Each day is getting a bit better :)

aaron I wish you all the best with your sobriety. I think you will do really well with lots of support from SR.

Thank you, This forum is motivation to keep going, God im eating like crazy sober, Food hasnt tasted so good in years!!!!

Hi and keep on truckin. I found it very important to try to stop thinking about drinking and focus on non drinking. That included reading, positive thinking many meetings and healthy living. Way back it was suggested to eat/drink sweets as our body was being fed them with alcohol and still was screaming for them. Worked great for me as I really go for ice cream.

BE WELL

WOW im eating ice cream now as a matter of fact, lovin in! Yes trying not to think about the drink and focus on reading on here. Its been a big distraction from the alcohol. :)

Hi Aaron and well done on 6 days, I hope you stick around xxxx

Welcome to a new way of life :) 22 years old and sober 368 days.

Haha! I have been eating like crazy too. So instead of eating a bunch of junk (although I have been eating my fair share of candy, as I was really craving sugar lol) I went to GNC and bought 14 day detox kit to help flush my system. On day 8 of that and I feel 1000x better then I have in a while. I have been cooking massive meals at home and eating those too, steering clear of fast food.

Welcome to the family. :) You'll find a lot of support here. Congrats on six days sober! That's a good start to a better way of living. :)

Day 7 today woke up, finally feeling less foggy. Thanks everyone still determinded.

Congratulations on getting to day 7 Aaron.

I am from Queensland also, Townsville actually. QLD and Australia has such a huge drinking culture, I know a lot of people who are really alcoholics but don't think they are also, as well as being one myself :)

Honestly it does get easier. People say one day at a time but I say one moment at a time.

Do your best to avoid unnecessary stress. Keep congratulating yourself on being so courageous to get to 7 days.

I didn't think I could get to 5 days. But now I am at 6 months. It is still hard at times, but it gets easier and better. Get as much support as you can, here, groups like hospital drug and alcohol programs and AA and counsellors etc.

I never want to go through the hell of the first day, first 3 days, first 5 days, first week ever ever ever again. I don't deserve that. Neither do you Aaron.

Good luck. You are strong to get here. You can do it.:c011:

Hi Aaron--welcome to SR! Congrats on 6 days...Looking forward to seeing your posts along your recovery journey.

Thanks lisatrying, im from gold coast, queensland, so its all party party party, and all of my so called friends are all alcoholics and junkies. I rather have very few friends then these people who i now dont associate with. They brought me down, laughed because i was the pisshead, when really they are just hypocrites! Im glad i do have hobbies always did when i drank but didnt enjoy them as much as i do now sober. Im day 7 snd went waterskiing with the old man today, havent done that in years, i feel the best i have in years today, bit anxious but ill deal with it :)

Hi nicole thanks yeah 7 days today im hanging in :)

@lisatrying i found aa meetings i went 2 years ago didnt work for me, to be honest i actually met more alcoholics who obvious werent serious and ended up drinking with them, the courts also made me attend a drug and alcohol program but i find doing this myself and reading peoples stories of success here is the best way about it. Good to have support here :) :tyou

Aaron that's fantastic that you went waterskiing with your Dad, I could barely stand or walk the first month, let alone the first week.

I haven't done AA though I know it works for a lot of people.

I wonder if another hospital type run program could work for you now, as I am sure you are in a slightly different place now. I just suggest it because it has helped me soo much. Some people there are court ordered and some aren't but apparently stats show they can help either way. I know it depends a lot on who is running the program and other people attending. I am very lucky, my drug group facilitator is fantastic , ex cop and ex parole officer, totally down to earth and really supportive nice cool guy. I have made some nice non using friends at the group also.

Learning how to socialise without alcohol and drugs is extremely challenging in itself, and the group has been good for me in thatwe have a weekly BBQ. Felt really weird the first time to do that without a drink, but now it feels pretty normal.

Where you live is a party town. That will definitely be a challenge at times for sure. There are a lot of good recovery doco's you can watch on the net for free. I use my library a lot too. I am really glad you have your hobbies still. I needed to find mine again. Good luck - so jealous you went water skiing :c011:

I love reading other peoples stories also. Your library will no doubt have a few memoir books. There is a section on this forum with book recommendations. Great way to help me feel stronger when I have felt like giving in.

If you want a book your library doesn't have you can request they get it from another library for about $2. Most libraries also accept request to purchase particular books.