Saturation effect.
 

Quite literally when it comes to my liver, probably.

20 days sober, I haven't even wanted to drink - and ****, I experienced finding out one of the most horrfically ****** up things imaginable. It briefly crossed my mind that typically I would get ****-faced... but I did not. I sat there and dealt with my feelings.

Its probably helping that I got on buspar before the big quit. I anticipated needing a little assistance.

Most of 2013 I was completely ****-faced at least every other night. I found out the fiancee's "low sex-drive" was a lie, and that he had developed a taste for porn which resulted in losing interest in putting the effort into actual physical intimacy with me.

Then I became intimate with a close friend, which resulted in bad blood.

Lots of dark feelings...

I just reached a point where it was all SICKENING. Drowning it all and feeling just, an endless pattern of inebriation, sickness, all leading down the spiral of failure and depression.

It was the 29th that I'd had enough. I realized that I'd lost a year doing nothing but drinking. Well, another year. I had lost many before that too, letting depression get the best of me when I was vulnerable.

I decided something. If I take another sip this year, I may as well kiss 2014 goodbye too. Seal my fate as a loser.

I don't want that.

:welcome and congrats on twenty days sober! :)

Hey zurie, Welcome to the Forum!! :wave:

You'll find loads of support here, sounds like you've made a great decision to be Sober!! :)

21 days over here.... good for you!!!

Life gets pretty dismally-stuffed-up when we let the booze be in the driver's seat, to be sure.

I'm glad you're on track.

Sober IS better!

:ring

Welcome, you've found a great place.
You don't have to have it ever again.
It sounds like you're doing pretty good thus far with all you've got going on.
I wasted many years to drinking, too. It's hard to think about.
But remember, just don't take that first drink and you'll never have to worry about getting drunk, and all that goes along with it,
again.

Best to you.

Congrats on 20 days :You_Rock_

Hi zurie, welcome to sr