The term "relapse"
 

I have never really liked the term "relapse." I have been trying to quit for about a year now. Every time I went back to drinking, it wasn't an action that was out of my control. It was an active decision that I made because I wanted to get drunk.

Right now, I don't want to get drunk because I know I don't like being drunk. And I sure as hell don't like being hungover. I would like to make this a permanent decision, and I'm still working on that ("forever" has always been difficult for me :) ). But if I were to go back to drinking (I don't want to go back to drinking, just to make that clear), it wouldn't be a "relapse," it would be an active decision on my part. It would be a poor decision. But it wouldn't be a decision beyond my control.

Perhaps I am in the minority. But that was just a thought that came into my head.

I agree 100%.

Cancer patients relapse.

Alcoholics drink, cause thats what we do.

I personally feel that drinking any amount willingly as a sober person is a breach of your sobriety. What you call it is irrelevant, as long as you realize that you need to figure out a way to keep it from happening again.

I completely agree. I just like to take responsibility for my actions rather than chalking it up to "I can't help myself. I'm hopeless and helpless. Poor pitiful me."

OP you are referring to a slip and not a relapse.

How we deal with drinking is up to us, and we are all different. Worrying about how others deal with it is not helpful to anyone in my humble opinion.

relapse happens on a race track.
slips happen on ice.

alcoholics have pre meditated drunks.

I haven't had a relapse of cancer, but I have had recurrence.

Intellectually, it can be fun to debate the long list of recovery terminology, but for me it all comes down to: you are either drinking or you are not.

I'm worried about how I deal with it, not others. And I'm trying to communicate how I deal with it.

the best way to deal with it is don't let it happen again.

One thing that helps me with this is the philosophy "I'd rather think than drink." Because what I hate about alcohol most is it robs me of my brain and turns me into more or less a zombie.

And the OP is what I think about the term relapse in reference to drugs / alcohol. The disease model works for millions, I understand that. But it doesn't work for me.

For me, the disease model is valid insofar as I believe there to be a genetic component that makes one person an addict, whereas a similar person could do the same thing and not become one.

I also believe that once physical addiction occurs, the disease model is legitimate, as it follows a similar predictability in terms of decline, health issues, and other effects. In this way, I believe it is a disease very similarly to diabetes. It is partly dependent on the person who has the illness to contribute to it, but once it is full blown, you can fairly accurately spell out what will occur.

But in regards to the inability to stop a relapse because its a disease, well, as the alanons say, quack quack quack. :)

What's stopping you making it a permanent decision ?

For me only when i quit for good and another drink in my future seemed like a nightmare did things fall into place . one lifetime hardly seems short enough IMHO .

Seems to me by leaving the door open , you're leaving the door open .

Bestwishes, m

My own fear of commitment. Then again, it's a lot like committing not not to eat rat poison for the rest of my life. So it may not be so scary after all.

You are absolutely correct though, Mecanix. The only thing stopping it from being a permanent decision is me. So I guess I'm just gonna have to change that.

I agree!! :)

I certainly found it easier after making that decision , no matter how touch and go it seemed for the first few weeks .. But i know i'm different to most people by not seeing it as some kind of miracle juice anymore , all i see is the personal pain and sickness it caused me .. thus me stopping it , seemed so simple once i'd had enough of being sick and stressed out trying to keep it in my life, it made me giggle with relief and happiness when it occurred to me, as somehow i'd never realised i could just never have it again .

Bestwishes, m

I think it is very hard to make a permanent decision, because you are always able to change your mind. In addition to my own fear of commitment (or more optimistically, my desire to keep my options open), I also was confused over what I really wanted.

I found when I set sobriety in terms of a goal, then it became much easier to commit to the action (not drinking) that is required to reach the goal. And, the goal wasn't sobriety or quit drinking, the goal is to avoid the consequences of drinking and return my mind and body to full health.

For me, I couldn't will myself to make a decision anymore than I could will myself to not drink. I needed a goal with clear logical actions that needed to be taken.

If you havent read up on Rational recovery, I strongly suggest that you check it out.

Aside from the AA bashing, the stuff on addiction ambivalence and AV i.e. the "beast" is interesting.

It explains the concept of a big plan. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind is doable in the bigger context of Rational Recovery, because YOU aren't the one with the doubts. Thats addictive voice that creeps in. THAT voice will ALWAYS want you to drink.

So perhaps you can negotiate with it. You WILL drink again. On your 200th birthday. :)

I have read up on Rational Recovery. I don't fully buy into it either.

I drink because I want to get drunk. I'm an alcoholic. There is no having a couple and stopping. I'd prefer to not be trapped in that cycle. So I won't drink again.

Living sober sucks (kinda at times). But living drunk sucks more.