I'm not into RR either personally. Having said that, i think one of the reasons that I'm having a good run of sobriety now is that I understand that there isn't going to be a recovery method that's perfectly tailored just for me. And that I have to "buy into" some things that I never bought into before. Alcoholism doesn't really care what you buy into - it just looks for ways to get you to drink again.

Perhaps that's part of your issue with not admitting you can't drink again too - trying to control something you cannot. Alcohol controls me - so I have personally needed to suck up my pride and do things I wouldnt normally do in order to get better. And guess what, it actuallly works!

Hats off to you for recognizing this and owning up to your own behavior. My AH always acts like it was not his choice to run to the gas station for a beer as soon as I walk out of the house, like some force of nature MAKES him do it. Nope, he does it because he WANTS to do it. It's a choice.

I hope you are serious about your decisions and that you continue on without making the choice to drink. Sounds like you are certainly in the right frame of mind to realize you can do this!

Have you read the book "Living Sober Sucks! (but living drunk sucks more)"? It's a good read.

Perfect .

Could not have said it better ..EVER X

Not gonna lie, I plagiarized the title when I wrote that :)

Funny when you put it that way how crazy it makes consuming alcohol sound. I mean, really, it is a poison as well.

I think when slips, relapses, whatever you want to call them happen, of course we make a conscious choice. I'd describe mine as a little but more like an out of body experience, and the intention was not to get drunk.

Fail number one.

My body can't deal with alcohol anymore...it's innate desire is to get drunk, smashed, written off, once I've had that one drink. It may not be straight away, maybe I can have one drink, but ultimately, my body has now programmed itself to drink like there's no tomorrow.

But there is a tomorrow. Worrying about it, bargaining with it, hoping to change it, control it, whatever....I can't do that.

All I can do is face life as the optimal version of me. And that optimal version of me is sober. It's really that simple.