Being Sober Sucks
 

Hi Everyone,

Just checking in. i am 3 weeks clean and sober and a little depressed.

I got to thinking today about Christmas, the party, friends coming over and spending time with my family.

I have never had a christmas without a drink and I am little scared to be honest. I havent had any cravings since leaving rehab, the tonnes of Glutathione and Vitamin C and Rosehip are thankfully keeping them at bay.

I know I will not drink, but I had to say being sober sure does suck big time when everyone else is making plan for christmas.

I know I can go out and drink soft drinks, but today it has just hit home that I am unlikely to relapse before christmas, so thats means a boring sober christmas.

I hate being an alcoholic and just want to be normal like other people.

I just posted a thread on surviving Thanksgiving and Xmas autan.

Try not to think too far ahead - You'll be a month and a half further along into recovery by then :)

and it might not suck as much as you think - my best Xmases have been sober ones.... :)

D

Sober holidays boring? Not on your life! The best holidays are the sober ones. The ones you remember the next day and have no regrets or hangovers. Three weeks is very early in recovery. Give yourself a few more months to get used to being sober. It's worth it! :)

Is that really true, oh I do hope so.

I feel like I have done things the right way round this time, I know if I carry on the way I am, that I can rid myself from alcohol altogether. I will certainly read your thread as I am ready to accept help gratefully from where ever it is offered.

I have no reason to lie :)

D

I certainly sympathize autan. I'm glad you brought this subject up.

I was very resentful as the holidays approached after I quit. I caved many times & it caused me to put off getting sober. (It was not worth it!) I'm glad to see you are thinking about this, even though it's causing you sadness. I hope others will have some tips or suggestions. If it's any help, the 6 sober holiday seasons I've had have been wonderful, and not boring. It was just the first one that was troublesome due to my attitude. I'm happy you're here with us. :hug:

Oh, I see Dee has posted his famous survival thread. :) It's helped many of us.

Maybe it's time to start some new Christmas traditions in your family that don't involve alcohol. Have you thought about volunteering some time to help deliver food baskets for families who need help? Or how about volunteering to serve a Christmas meal to street people who have no one to spend Christmas with?

I will, I think this is why I am worrying, its all very new and I my friends are already talking about getting wasted. A man at the fellowship today told me, it is easier to change friends that to try and change your friends.

What he means it, I am the one with the problem, the one that needs help and is abusing alcohol to the extent that I cannot be in a position where I can be compromised by alcohol again.

I have come further than I ever thought and I might now have to remove some of the elements from this equation to continue to be sober.

I hope you posters are right in having the best Christmases.

Even I have to admit the last few christmases haven't gone to plan. Vommiting the christmas lunch due to illebriation isnt the best way to say thanks for cooking all day.

I quit right heifer Christmas and I had a great Christmas! I remembered everything the next day, I wasn't stressed and then drowning the stress in wine an getting more stressed because I was acting like an ass. It will be good. But you have plenty of time for focus on your recovery before that time.

Did you ever think that by remaining sober and not waking up the next day with regrets, embarrassment, shame, and a hangover, that you will be a "normal" person?

Hi autan, early days can be boring. After sobertime, it becomes your life and is not boring. I went to a party the other day and I was the only one not drinking. But since I've had a few sober years, I actually enjoyed it. I was really proud and content. I believe this will happen for you too. Great job! :ring

Autan I'm willing to bet that that sentence isn't entirely true even though I'm sure you wrote it in good faith. Think back to before you drank, weren't those Christmases great?

A sober Christmas is going to be a new experience for me too and I'm actually looking forward to it.

after a super horrible Christmas of my making where I got extremely drunk, embarrassed myself, and alarmed my family, I had nowhere to go but up. wish I could say every Christmas since that one has been completely sober, they haven't but this one will and i'm looking forward to it! no more stress of attempting to moderate and make it look like i'm sober. I actually will be. that means concentrating on things like, oh I dunno, the Christmas spirit and family!

just think of the possibilities! it will be great. good luck to you.

Holidays are so much hype that can never deliver. Same thing with alcohol...cravings and fantasies about drinking...About how relaxed I'm going to feel, how my mood will improve, how I'll be having so much fun with everyone else who's drinking.

Don't fall for your own advertising.

I firmly believe the sooner a person accepts they can't drink like other people, the easier it becomes to stay sober. But I know coming to that acceptance is a process that can take a little time.

How do I even have a sober holiday? I don't remember what that's like

Yeah it does suck, but not as much as where drinking leads... For me anyway... Days of horrible withdrawals after an inevitable bender.... Probable loss of employment and or loss of interpersonal relationships at some point ... Way worse than staying sober I think... Just have to keep reminding ourselves of that and the holidays will be over before we know it