Recovery without companionship
 

I'm finding it very difficult to recover on my own. My wife of 5 years left me due to being sick of it. I'm aware I'm not alone. Family, friends, AA. There is something to be said about the human touch though. I'm well aware dating is out of the option seeing is it's too risky and I have little to offer until I can be happy without the bottle. Can anybody relate to this and offer any advice? Thanks

Hi sinape,
I found that the only way I could recover was on my own. I found that I had to learn to really like myself and like being with myself to finally be happy in my life.
Take care of yourself. For yourself.
:)

This does not involve overcoming substance abuse, but it might help. About 20 years ago, I went through a period of severe depression. I was recently divorced and living on my own. My world was upside down and I had no frame of reference for my new life.

In the end, what helped me immensely, was volunteering. I found an organization that peaked my interest (a local nature center) and began volunteering. I made new friends with whom I shared common interests. I felt good about becoming the person I wanted to be. I truly believe that getting outside myself and helping others was instrumental in my recovery.

Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You may have to force yourself out the door sometimes, but it's worth it.

Does it make sense to bring a pet into your life? That made a world of difference to me.

I've a dog. Little furry guy. Big brown eyes. Crooked under bite. He's a rescue and a bit ADD. Wakes me up way to early in the morning and wants to go to bed much too early at night. Always trying to sucker me out of treats or a belly rub.

There isn't enough money in this crazy world I would take for him.

It may not be the "human touch" but then again, I'm not very co-dependent when it comes to people.

I'm a sucker for animals though.

Yeah I feel ya, I'm trying to do this on my own too, but I think I need to do this in order to get the place where I have something to offer again as a companion before life will allow one back into my life. I'm sure my being such a wasted person every time I would go out certainly didn't allow me to meet girls because that's not attractive. I've never had problems meeting girls or carrying on relationships but this last year of total solitude and my plunge into heavy drinking to the point it started having some pretty negative consequences isolated me and made me unattractive for sure. I think you and I will just have to get back to a good spot in our lives before we can attract good things, not that it makes it any easier to be alone.

Thanks for the responses! No one
Forced me to become chemically dependent on alcohol, it's up to me and me alone to get out, and I will!

I'm not looking to repeat this process over again. Best to take the time to fix things up and go front there.

I do a have a dog, two actually. Black labs. They are super loyal. I actually play with them now rather than ignoring them getting loaded!

Volunteering was a great way for me to get out of the house and connecting with people, while doing something good.

D

Volunteering is something that gives both ways: to the receiver and the giver.:) It's a good way to meet new people too. :)

For me, I know while I'm in early recovery the best thing for me is to be on my own. That's not to say I don't get lonely and miss companionship from time to time but I need to learn who I am again before I can get to know someone else. As other have said, volunteering is a great idea. I'm going to look into doing so myself :)

YES! It is absolutely important to force yourself to stop thinking about yourself for a little while. This is true for anything, I think. Volunteering and being of service can really give life a sense of purpose beyond individual happiness. And isolating yourself when you are depressed is counterproductive...you need the energy of people and natrure.

As for intimate relationships perhaps such need to be put on the back burner for a while due to the complexity for all concerned, especially while recovering.
The suggestions already given are good IMO, as sane involvement leads to good places.