Recovery without companionship
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 49
Recovery without companionship
I'm finding it very difficult to recover on my own. My wife of 5 years left me due to being sick of it. I'm aware I'm not alone. Family, friends, AA. There is something to be said about the human touch though. I'm well aware dating is out of the option seeing is it's too risky and I have little to offer until I can be happy without the bottle. Can anybody relate to this and offer any advice? Thanks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi sinape,
I found that the only way I could recover was on my own. I found that I had to learn to really like myself and like being with myself to finally be happy in my life.
Take care of yourself. For yourself.
I found that the only way I could recover was on my own. I found that I had to learn to really like myself and like being with myself to finally be happy in my life.
Take care of yourself. For yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
This does not involve overcoming substance abuse, but it might help. About 20 years ago, I went through a period of severe depression. I was recently divorced and living on my own. My world was upside down and I had no frame of reference for my new life.
In the end, what helped me immensely, was volunteering. I found an organization that peaked my interest (a local nature center) and began volunteering. I made new friends with whom I shared common interests. I felt good about becoming the person I wanted to be. I truly believe that getting outside myself and helping others was instrumental in my recovery.
Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You may have to force yourself out the door sometimes, but it's worth it.
In the end, what helped me immensely, was volunteering. I found an organization that peaked my interest (a local nature center) and began volunteering. I made new friends with whom I shared common interests. I felt good about becoming the person I wanted to be. I truly believe that getting outside myself and helping others was instrumental in my recovery.
Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You may have to force yourself out the door sometimes, but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,090
I've a dog. Little furry guy. Big brown eyes. Crooked under bite. He's a rescue and a bit ADD. Wakes me up way to early in the morning and wants to go to bed much too early at night. Always trying to sucker me out of treats or a belly rub.
There isn't enough money in this crazy world I would take for him.
It may not be the "human touch" but then again, I'm not very co-dependent when it comes to people.
I'm a sucker for animals though.
There isn't enough money in this crazy world I would take for him.
It may not be the "human touch" but then again, I'm not very co-dependent when it comes to people.
I'm a sucker for animals though.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: San Diego, ca
Posts: 128
Yeah I feel ya, I'm trying to do this on my own too, but I think I need to do this in order to get the place where I have something to offer again as a companion before life will allow one back into my life. I'm sure my being such a wasted person every time I would go out certainly didn't allow me to meet girls because that's not attractive. I've never had problems meeting girls or carrying on relationships but this last year of total solitude and my plunge into heavy drinking to the point it started having some pretty negative consequences isolated me and made me unattractive for sure. I think you and I will just have to get back to a good spot in our lives before we can attract good things, not that it makes it any easier to be alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 49
Thanks for the responses! No one
Forced me to become chemically dependent on alcohol, it's up to me and me alone to get out, and I will!
I'm not looking to repeat this process over again. Best to take the time to fix things up and go front there.
I do a have a dog, two actually. Black labs. They are super loyal. I actually play with them now rather than ignoring them getting loaded!
Forced me to become chemically dependent on alcohol, it's up to me and me alone to get out, and I will!
I'm not looking to repeat this process over again. Best to take the time to fix things up and go front there.
I do a have a dog, two actually. Black labs. They are super loyal. I actually play with them now rather than ignoring them getting loaded!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
For me, I know while I'm in early recovery the best thing for me is to be on my own. That's not to say I don't get lonely and miss companionship from time to time but I need to learn who I am again before I can get to know someone else. As other have said, volunteering is a great idea. I'm going to look into doing so myself
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
Originally Posted by WhoDey 
In the end, what helped me immensely, was volunteering. I found an organization that peaked my interest (a local nature center) and began volunteering. I made new friends with whom I shared common interests. I felt good about becoming the person I wanted to be. I truly believe that getting outside myself and helping others was instrumental in my recovery.
Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You may have to force yourself out the door sometimes, but it's worth it.
Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You may have to force yourself out the door sometimes, but it's worth it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
As for intimate relationships perhaps such need to be put on the back burner for a while due to the complexity for all concerned, especially while recovering.
The suggestions already given are good IMO, as sane involvement leads to good places.
The suggestions already given are good IMO, as sane involvement leads to good places.
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