Day 1
 

My head is killing me.

Hang in there! It's worth it!

Welcome to SR. You don't have to have days like this anymore if you don't want to. Read lots and let us know how we can help.

Welcome countingdays, it gets easier. There is lots of support here. Wishing you well. :)

It DOES get better- hang in there and welcome!

May your determination last longer than your hangover!!

Seriously - stay and read a bit!

try to get to days 2,3,4 ...1,000 ...
you don't want to be stuck in the cycle.

day one has always been the worst for me by far. that's when addiction is strong and the evil voices will try force you to continue.
but you also have to be strong... and the voices will quiet down.

(easier said than done, i know). we are here for your support.

Remember this hangover and how you feel right now. It may help you later if you get a craving. Hope you soon feeling better. Drink plenty of water.

Thank you everyone. I'm so mad at myself. I had 10 days and now here I am. I feel so broken. Like I have lost myself. So stuck in this ridiculous cycle.

It takes most people a few tries to stay quit. The fact is you are here and you are trying again and that is the beginning of success :You_Rock_

Keep going it is worth it.

I Can't wait for tomorrow to come. My aspirin has worn off and the Tylenol I just took has nit kicked in. I seriously feel like my brain is to big for my scull. The pain is excruciating. My biggest fear is that one day I will not wake up after a binge. I don't know how my body withstands the abuse. What a horrible way for a child to lose their mother. I don't want to die, but alcohol is killing me.

It is slow suicide. Alcohol doesn't jump into our mouth. It is inanimate, and cannot have intent, good, or bad. For me, to quit, I had to take full responsibility and stop thinking I drank because of the actions of others, external or internal pain, or that alcohol manipulated me. I have no issue with using those schemas as convenient expressions of feeling like there is an opponent. If there were a devil involved it needs a deal, we have to do it. If there are voices inside our own head it is us, and we have to do it. If thinking that my drinking was externally caused, that alcohol could mesmerize me from the store into going and picking up, and I was helpless when external temptations to drink occurred, well I could see a lot of revolving door relapses.

I pick up. Not a voice or demon.

My mind was like an unmade bed while drinking. I made my mind up. I bypassed the whole external construct as a cause and did whatever it took because my mind was no linger unmade.

I made my mind up.

[QUOTE=Itchy;4238731]It is slow suicide.

I agree. What I should have said is that I am killing myself with alcohol. I guess my mind has been unmade for a long time. I have one choice and that choice is not to take the first drink.

counting days, welcome to SR - it takes usually more than a swing or two.

your comment, is actually OK. admitting that you are broken, and that you are in a spot of accepting help, changing your life, taking advice, and stopping your addictive habits requires you to surrender, and that's good.

continuing to grapple with booze is like a pillow fight, but one of you has rocks in their pillowcase (i won't tell you which one :))

you can do this, thanks for showing up and posting...

Take a nap. Take an aspirin. Don't take a drink.

Welcome to SR. You will feel better.

Countingdays, day 1? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. My head hasn't killed me in over a 1000 days now. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

Itchy and happyhour, your comments were both very helpful to read :)

countingdays, welcome to SR and well done on taking the first step!

I survived day 1 and my horrible headache is no more. Still feel a bit foggy and definitely feeling blah and down on myself, but happy to be connecting.