Couldnt of gone worst.
 

I have failed miserably and lost 2 great friends. It was an hour into the wedding and I was drinking again. The music went on and the party started. We had fun and lots of it and I almost made to the end without anything bad happening. My wife and I had a few words and someone overheard and decided to tell me they were going to smash my face in for talking to my own wife disrespectfully (this guy was also extremely drunk) I walked away and mentioned it another person and they went and had a chat to him and he tried to go for me but people pulled him away. The next thing I know is that everyone has turned on me and told me its all my fault for swearing at my wife and it was at that point my mood changed and I said a couple of nasty things to some close friends and the next thing I know I am being handcuffed by the Police and was taken to a police cell for 12 hours which is a first for me and I was extremely frightened as this room was so small and I felt terribly claustrophobic. I was released and fined a couple hundred dollars. Taking that first drink was probably one of the worst decision's I have ever made in my life. Many people had said to me that it will be ok if you drink today as its a wedding and I know that wasn't true but I guess I wanted to believe that. In hindsight none of the worst of this story would of happened if that guy had minded his own business but I would be lying to myself if some form of argument would of happened anyway. I screwed up badly and I am so unhappy about it. I am getting on that wagon again soon but right now is way to soon and I have 3 cans of beer to help me through right now but will be back to give it another go. I haven't finished trying yet. I'm so sorry for breaking my promise guys. I let myself and everyone who truly cares about me down. I also now fear that guy will come and beat me up so im now paranoid and looking over my shoulder. He was a big guy and I certaintly wouldn't stand a chance against him. Im scared.

RJ,

All I can say is, keep reaching for that day 1, make it tmro, don't lose anymore of you, its not worth it.......
X

I'm sorry to hear about this incident. 12 hours in a jail cell never stopped me but I hope it helps you with your struggle.

Perhaps apologizing to all involved, even if it must be on phone is a good step for you to take?

Sorry to hear all that happened.

I'm sure you are feeling awful about the situation. Reaching out is probably a good thing right now.

The first thing I did was go straight for more drinks. Spent a hell of a lot of money getting home and got a cab straight to the pub. I have apologised to all involved but wouldn't wanna go anywhere near that guy as he is a nasty person from a nasty background.

Sounds like a very bad situation. Thankfully all are okay and no one is hurt.

Ditto Foolsgold, I've spent a couple nights in a cell and it didn't really create any shock and awe except for my wallet. Do you have the opportunity to attend a diversion program through the court system? Sometimes the classes, probation and service are helpful to recovery.

How is your wife dealing with all of this? I agree about the amends. I would call everyone and apologize.

RJY9:

Sorry to hear if your troubles. Hopefully you will keep trying, but I have to say the incident doesn't even seem to have sunk in as you are already partially blaming someone else and continuing to drink ( and planning to drink more ). What makes you think you'll stop at 3 today when you couldn't last night?

Be strong and dump out those beers unless you are planning an encore performance.

Sorry to hear this happened RJ. Its good that you realize that you have no clue where that first drink will take you. Hopefully now you can prevent this from happening again. Why not get back on the wagon sooner rather than later?. That would be a positive outcome from a bad situation. Wishing you well.

So, you're a judge of his character, are ya? Do it anyway, tactfully but honestly, by telephone. Maybe let a day go by first. You may be surprised. I have apologized to a holding cell of criminals after screaming at them all to shut the eff up because I was on the phone. Worst I got was a little nasty talk back from one that he had little left to lose and I'd better not do it again.

RJ I'm sad. I feel bad about what happened at the wedding but I think that you already knew what was going to happen ahead of time. Drinking does not end well.

However that's not what's sad to me. It's the 3 beers that you are having that you think are going to fix things for right now. The word "soon" is also replacement for "who knows".

Do you really want to give up on this?

Sounds like we had similar weekends Rjy. I went to a wedding and got drunk. Proceeded to drive to an after party, but had a slight detour to jail after I was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving.

Very sorry RJ. Keep strong

make amends and make tomorrow your day 1

I'm really sorry to hear about this but I sort of saw it coming with your post from yesterday. It seemed that you were sort of setting yourself up to fail. I'm very worried about the above quote. Didn't he only get involved in defense of your wife?

Ahh RJ.... I'm sorry to read this. I hope you find the courage and strength to try again. And soon. I'm sure your kicking yourself enough for this so I'm not going to add to your guilt.

The best thing you can do is realise that these situations are going to keep happening in your life if you don't stop drinking. I know you don't want that - you were doing really amazing and you can get to that place again. I believe in you. You've got to believe in yourself though. You can do this.

I would not worry about some dude you have quarreled with at a wedding, I doubt that he will hunt you down to finish it.

You have a wife and a daughter RJ – you can not be doing such things towards them and yourself.

I do not like to throw salt in others persons wounds, but come on you were worried that you could not have fun without alcohol – do not get fooled by such thoughts again. It is illusion for many of us. I can dream about a well deserved cold beer a summer night – but that has nothing to do with my drinking (we also have rather few summer nights here) – I do not take such thinking seriously.

Stop this nonsense – be the man, father and husband you want to be and stop struggling stupidly with some substance that is only bringing you misery.

The next step is up to you. No sympathy here I'm afraid.

Blackbird, you got a dwi this weekend?

RJY - It's done and over with. You learned something valuable. It's the same lesson I had to learn over & over for years - a drink = danger & an unpredictable outcome. Terrible things happened every time I was fool enough to believe I had any control. Not a sip can pass my lips - ever. I promise there is life after alcohol - a happy and free one. You can do this.

Glad you wanted to come here & talk it over. We all care about you. This too shall pass and a better day is coming.

Not after sympathy. Just helps to write it I guess.

Rj, sometimes when we see things written down, it brings it home to us, read, it then see how you need to change the next chapter...x

I am not unsympathetic towards you RJ.

It will not help to feel bad. It is the old story do not focus on the bus you did not catch keep an eye open for the next one.

Do you sometime read in the family section RJ, how the loved ones are affected by our drinking. Devastating stories often – but true.

You stayed sober for a month, you can do it again and you are a experience richer and you will not be fooled again by thoughts about you can not have fun without alcohol.

I am glad you posted it.

Stay strong RJ.

I am truly sorry you had to go through all that, RJ.

I really needed to read your post today. It's so easy to forget that for me, one drink can lead to such chaos in a matter of hours.

Please give sobriety another try. It's never too late.

The beast that lurks within is a big guy too, but no need to be afraid of him, just arm yourself with any and all resources you can muster to do battle with the addictive voice, then you are unlikely to find yourself in a situation where you're scared of a real life big guy!
"Soon"... I agree with others. Getting back on the wagon hurts but it means now, this minute.

Good luck.

I reckon, if you're really sorry and contrite for you've done, a great way to show that, without speaking a word, would be to dump those three cans of beer RJY.

Draw a battle line in the sand.

D

Unfortunately you drank and then did what we all have done too many times. IMHO where the real problem occured is going toe to toe with alcohol excpecting that will power would be enough.
For myself I can never afford to underestimate my foe.

Sorry to hear you drank rjy.

I'm concerned that you believe the situation wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for theother guy.Maybe consider the situation wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been drinking-if you hadn't drunk you wouldn't have rowed with your wife. If it hadn't beentheother guy it wouldhave been something else.If any situation had happened you would have handled it better if you'd been sober.

I agree with a previous poster- once I drink unpredictable and bad things happen.Hope yo u tip the beers away

The fact you said you had 3 cans of beer to "help you through" worries me. It shows you still think alcohol is something that can help you or alleviate your problems, which it of course isnt. You may need a couple more horrible experiences to get the message, and as we all know, if you keep drinking.......you will definitely get those experiences. It often takes many of these horrible nights to get the point across.

Wrong. Everything bad that happened to you came after you decided it was a good idea to drink, including picking up that first drink.

It's time to stop blaming people, places and things for your misery.

Getting sober is extremely difficult, and virtually no one achieves sobriety without a great deal of hard work. Whatever you've been doing isn't working. You need to do something different if you want to take control over your own life.

can relate RJY, I wrecked my best friends wedding last year in Greece by falling off the wagon BIG time, I was only 6 weeks sober and advised not to go but I thought I could manage it, don't even remember what had happened blacked out and was basically asked to leave and put in a taxi which I then jumped out of at a set of lights, I only found out about what I had done the next day when my friends brother told me I owed everyone an apology, I drank even more then to get through the guilt, was lucky to survive that but lost the best friend Ive ever had, all because I picked up that first drink.

Im suffering now with guilt and remorse from a recent bender in which ive let a lot of people down,every time I drink I blackout and im in a truly dark place right now, wish you all the best mate and hope we can both beat this horrible illness.