Trying to quit...having problems.
 

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this, sort of. I have been trying to quit for some time now, but I just can't do it. I don't drink all the time. Never Sunday through Thursday. But as soon as I get home on Friday, I can't stop myself. I have the good intentions of just having a couple, but then I drink until 4:00 in the morning and end up doing stupid things that I would never do when I'm sober. I wake Saturday saying I'm not drinking tonight, and end up doing it all over again. I don't understand why I can't stop after a couple, but I can't. Monday through Thursday, I tell myself every day I'm not going to drink this weekend, then Friday comes and..... binge!! God, I am so ready to stop binge drinking, but don't know how to start. It's all I know. I quit for 30 days just to prove to my wife that I could. It was the hardest 30 days of my life. And after that, I was able to control it for the first 3 or 4 weeks and I thought I was strong enough to control it by myself, but I guess I can't . I fell into the same old patterns. I need to stop and want to stop, but I don't even know where to begin. Any help would be appreciated.

The worst part is that I never used to be like this. I keep trying to figure out when I went from social drinker to binge drinker.

It's a progressive problem Anon. And it only gets worse, never better. Coming here is a great start, there are many here who have been exactly where you are now. And many of us have gotten better. There is a lot of info and good reading right here in the newcomers forum, and many sub forums dedicated to AA/12 Step and also Secular recovery methods.

If you've tried on your own and still can't quit, you may want to try AA or another local recovery method where regular in-person meetings are available. Best of luck and do lots of reading, and ask lots of questions.

These things tend to creep up on us Anon. It doesn't happen suddenly and is usually the result of years of drinking.

For me the key to quitting was getting support. SR really helped with that. I tried for years to quit before I came here but it didn't work, I thought it was impossible. But with the support and accountability SR provided me plus some info on recovery methods (AVRT, AA, SMART recovery) I have managed to stay sober for 18 months so far. You can do this, you just need to click on whatever works for you. I found posting in one of the class of threads helped keep me accountable too :)

Glad you're here x

Welcome to SR anon x

:welcome to SR! You've come to a very supportive place. I hope we can help you stop drinking for good. Living sober really rocks.:)

Welcome!! I was a binge drinker too. Didn't even think about drinking during the week. Only Friday & Saturday, Sunday's were my 'no drink' days. I would wake up every weekend hung over and promise I would not drink, and pray about it. But nonetheless, I would convince myself to only have a couple, next thing I knew I was drunk. Then Sundays eventually became my big drinking days. The closer Monday came, the more I drank to shut that voice up in my head that tells me I should stop.
SR really helped me. I also started going to AA meetings. It felt good to not feel so alone. My family has been really supportive as well. Open up if you can to close friends and family and ask for their support.

Sounds completely similar to my drinking situation.

When I knew I had a drinking problem 99% of the time I would not drink from Sunday to Thursday. On the rare day that I did I called off work the next day (not a good look of course to your bosses or peers)

Whenever I social drank I binged. It was all about keeping the party going.

But in the end it got me 2 DUIs which is gonna take every spare cent I have to pay legal, court, alcohol outpatient treatment, and eventually interlock costs.

I never had the confidence or faith to realize that life is better without a drink in my hand.

Good luck and please stick with it.

These stories are all so familiar and the fact that some of you have managed to quit weekend binge drinking gives me hope, since that is what I have been doing for years and have finally come to the conclusion I have to stop. Luckily I have avoided legal problems, but I was not able to avoid a divorce because of my drinking. I don't know what the future holds but I hope like crazy it is better than the past.

some great advice here Anon - maybe it's time to start planning for next weekend now?

making sure you have enough support, making lifestyle changes to minimise the temptation etc?

D

Hi Anon - it's great to have you here with us.

I once drank exactly as you described. It was decades ago. Over the years I graduated from weekend drinking to every day drinking. Eventually it took over my life and I was completely dependent on it. I swore I'd never allow that to happen - but I had no control once it was in my system. You're wise to be looking at what it's doing to your life. You see the danger signs and you know where this is headed if you don't stop. I'm glad you came here for support. Please keep reading & posting here. You can get free of it.

...what if the answer looked something like, "because alcoholism is a progressive disease."

When it happens, why, why us, how come - even when I get to the answer, it doesn't make me feel much better.

It just is. For me, it helped bump me ahead in the monopoly game closer to passing "Go." Time for me to accept "what is" instead of trying to deny my reality.

Sorry you are struggling but good luck!

Anon, sorry for the struggle. I struggle as well, I think we all do. If you are interested in a faith based program, try Celebrate Recovery at your local church. It's sort of like AA, but it removes the phrase "higher being" and replaces it with Jesus Christ. Keep posting. Good luck.

Hi Anon, welcome. I was never able to control it. I had to go for the total abstinence. Stick around. You will find a lot of great information and support here.

The books "Under The Influence" and "Beyond The Influence" are helping me to understand this disease. They explain why I could NEVER stop at one or two drinks. Tomorrow will be one week for me. I've been reading practically non-stop. It helped me.

Thanks for the replies everyone!!

It's great to know that I'm not alone in this. It's just hard because I tried before and failed but I'm going to keep trying. I know with the support from this site and my family, I'll make it work this time. Not sure how I'm going to get through this first weekend, but I will.

I'll keep everyone posted and thanks again.

that why it's important to keep adding things to your recovery 'plan', trying new approaches etc.

I don't believe recovery is beyond anyone, Anon - don't give up :)

D

welcome to SR.your drinking habits were just like mine.then I started drinking every day.

SR has helped me quit, 9 months now after many many failures,You CAN do this.It doesn't matter how many times you've tried and didn't quit.You can still quit now.

Do anything Friday night but don't drink, eat lots of food , drink water and soda, eat ice cream, watch a movie, read, go to the gym, walk, sleep early, stay glued to SR,anything but don't drink. Pour your booze away and don't have any in the house. I found in the early weeks it wasn't just physical cravings it was mental associations and habits.They do break in time though

As I think Dee said, maybe get a plan together. Be sure HOW you will accomplish it so you don't feel like this guy hiding under a chair. :hide

If it doesn't work, adjust the plan next weekend.

I just got an image in my head of a football coach on a chalkboard with lots of x's and o's. Good luck!

I had a similar pattern, about every 7 to 10 days I would binge drink. For me it's been realizing deep down to my core that once I drink a beer, I can not drink with control. And also realizing I will never be able to drink with control. I'm guessing you are probably telling yourself (subconsciously or consciously) that you will be able to control your drinking "the next time". It's probably time to eliminate that thought.

Feen, I also have absolutely no control. Sadly can't drink like a "normal" person. Must get completely wasted.