Pleased to say I've got day one back :)

Felt so dehydrated, tired and almost sick earlier from nights drinking. I had a brief craving to drink but the thought of a night binging didn't seem very appealing tonight.

Wasn't just the physical aspect. Tonight I really pushed myself to 'play out' the night, and especially tomorrow. It didn't seem so flash. In doing so I arrived at tomorrow evening where I'd tell myself 'that' was the night I'd stop, after drinking last night (tonight), but I saw myself bringing the excuse of it being Friday... etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm very much one day at a time right now, but tonight just got me thinking a bit how it felt 'odd' I wasn't drinking (and how that's odd), and even know I felt pretty sick I was still considering drinking... What kind of logic is that.

Not sure if I'm making much sense? I've read some post about 'playing the tape'. I'll Google it tomorrow to read up on and if anyone has a link handy I'd love if they wouldn't mind sharing. Think this is similar to urge surfing too?


I love the feeling of laying in bed sober. I miss this. I've got three places from my GP to read up on tomorrow that offer face to face counselling for alcohol and I'll make the calls tomorrow afternoon. Must admit I'm a little dubious as when I pursued over the phone counselling the general message back was that this is more habitual for me in that it plays on my obsessive side, but really it has to be deeper than that. Maybe I need to go to deeper than that.

I felt a bit lonely tonight. Someone I miss that has both turned my life upside down and bought me so much happiness over the years. I no longer have them. Sorry, now I'm rambling and this isn't isolated to just that, but I wanted to say it.

I'll need to fight really damn hard tomorrow. Bring it.

Thank you all for your posts :thanks

kys - you're thinking too much. remember, all this complex thinking is what got you in this situation to begin with. it's not deep, it doesn't require tons of introspective mumbo jumbo. it's a decision today, not to drink and insert the support system that is required to achieve that goal.

every time i go, "why is this the way it is..." "why am i feeling...". meh. doesn't help at all.

good luck, we are rooting for you! :c011:

Thanks Happyhour and you are SO right in that I'm thinking too much. That kind of thing generally gets me in unwanted situations and in this case (my drinking) it's been really detrimental.

Thanks for this post.

Quick morning of day two check in. Feels great waking up refreshed.

Going for an exercise walk around the park straight after work. Will check in after that when home tonight.

Drank tonight.

Hi Kys, Plot something different to do. You can do this.

I'm not working tomorrow. I'm going to just relax.

Perhaps you should plan out your day, even if it is just all relaxing activites. "Free time" can easily turn into drinking time. I found making myself a very well organized schedule really helped in early sobriety.

Drank tonight.