Kys

Drank a few beers tonight, much less than usual but that's still not at all what I need. Going to bed very soon.

I want to really get back to day one tomorrow, I definitely can't manage this more than one day at a time right now (I know I don't need to either right now), I usually even fail that challenge.

I hate the late afternoon cravings, I've usually plotted my night drinking alone before I even get home.

Dee74

Can you think of ways to make this next attempt different Kys?

D

goose333

Kys,
Perhaps if you change your routine. Keep yourself very busy doing something... anything. Is there a hobby? Maybe you could find one. Exercise might help in getting you back up on that horse. Don't give up! You can do it.

Goose

Kys

While it's not a long term plan Dee, I was thinking of mailing my bank cards to myself in the morning so that I wouldn't receive them until the next day. And so I'd have no access to cash, and so couldn't buy alcohol. The fridge is stocked with food so I'm ok there.

Geez is that crazy?!

Beyond that I need to retain the wisdom of just letting such thoughts pass by, I don't need to buy into them. God I wish I had the certainty that I'd maintain that mindset though.

instant

Each craving you survive without drinking weakens the addiction. It can be done, but i know it can be a wild ride.

ImperfectlyMe

Hey kys pick your head up. Because there's still fight in you. In the first few weeks of sobriety the cravings can be crippling! I know you have the will now you need to muster up all the self love you have. Drinking will kill you plain and simple harsh words I know, but true words. There are threads right now where people are dealing with life or death. Right now in your hands you hold the key to life. You deserve to live unshackled.

When cravings hit early on for me. The best approach for me was to RELAX mentally!!!! Trying to reason rationalize them does nothing. But spin the wheels harder. Stop trying to fight cravings and let them come and go. They WILL go! This part is only temporary, and you will soon have the momentum of a freight train!

Stay close to SR during you witching hour. Post and read! That is the one if the greatest tools i used to jump the early hurdles of sobriety.

I'm rooting for you! Tomorrow can be your real day 1!

Kys

Thanks Goose.

Before I go to sleep soon, I'm going to look up some artwork and reviews for a book I've started and absolutely love (I'm into the first few chapters only and it's enormous).

Will get me looking forward to reading it tomorrow night, I've had that kind of feeling with novels I love before (where you can't wait to keep reading).

Kys

Thanks IMe and Instant, your words are fantastic.

I'll be here tomorrow afternoon alright. Book marked my thread for a quick log in.

longbeachone

Hey Kiss, most of us stay sober one day at a time. Keep on working at it. You'll make it!

lorelei

You aren't alone kys x

Dee74

It's a good trick but yeah it's not really sustainable for any length of time is it?

I know you're going to bed, and I don't need to know the answer myself, but here's one to mull over tomorrow - what do you think is holding you back from making a firm and tangible commitment to recovery, and to making changes?

D

ImperfectlyMe

I'm going to be following your thread. I just have a good feeling about you! I think you're going to be one of the Lucky ones. Get some sleep you have a big fight tomorrow

Kys

Thanks guys and I'm signing off for tonight.

Taking your words with me tomorrow and I definitely will be checking in

doggonecarl

Is lack of support your problem with staying sober? There is support, for those who seek it. Sober Recovery isn't enough for every one. Some folks, the real strugglers (You, Kys!) could benefit from some form of face to face support, out patient treatment, AA, something. Do the things that have worked for those that have achieved sobriety.

If you really want to get sober, that is.

foolsgold66

You can do it Kys, you fell off the horse, now get back on!

jdooner

Kys, figure out the witching hours for you. For me mine were 4pm till 9pm my typical drinking hours - post that I would usually be drunk. ImperfectlyME is right they diminish over time but the first and beg of the 2nd week were quite hard for me to get through. What I did was increase my sugar going into the witching hours. Your body is starving for sugars that it used to get from the alcohol, so giving it either natural (oranges apples) or artificial (chocolate & candy) helps reduce the cravings.

The 2nd and perhaps more important thing was to find a sponsor that I could relate with. I did this through AA. When I say relate, not someone that has been sober for 20yrs. They may be able to provide sage advice but I found someone I could identify with and going through some of the same stuff (my sponsor is 3 months sober off a 1yr bender and 3yrs sober previously) so the advice is real time and it helped me. Lastly, talking about my alcoholism around people close to me helped create a safety net and also makes (for me) it more difficult to drink again, as I know I will be letting others down.

FWIW - I hope some of these might help you. Don't worry about relapsing, we all do it. What few do is learn from their mistakes and turn it into a positive experience. Good luck!

happyhour

kys, welcome! you are going to find support here.

i hear you on the "late afternoon" thing - cause it's normally it's "happy hour"

most effective for me, was insert something different in that time period - DO NOT come home and just sit there and act like you'll do the same thing before just no drink in your hand. it is a really tough situation. change it, go to bookstore after work, go straight to a meeting, go to gym, go for a walk - change your pattern.

glad you are here!

jutam

I so relate to what you said. I would get up hungover... go to work, saying I wouldn't drink tonight... by 2pm I was planning my drinking... left work early if I could to drink the minute I got in the door.... I was trapped in this awful cycle I couldn't break....

It can be done. I did it. don't give up. if I can do it ... so can you:-)

ScottFromWI

One thing I did early on was to make an actual calendar for the day. I mean literally take a pen and paper ( or your smartphone calendar ) and write down exactly what you plan to do each hour of the day. Heck, do every 15 minutes if you have to. And then follow it. You mentioned that you have already planned to drink when you get home before you even get there, so make plans to do something else and stick to it.

I'd also echo what Carl said. You might find that just reading SR isn't enough. Perhaps face to face support and someone to keep you accountable for early sobriety is what is needed. And as he also said, if you aren't ready to be sober - if you don't truly WANT to be sober, it really doesn't matter what you do.

happyhour

so so so true, thanks for reminding me.