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3 months today! My recovery started in pain. I imagine that’s where most recovery starts (and addiction I think). I had a number of issues I was struggling with all stemming from a mind blinded and confused by addiction. I had little insight or coping mechanisms. I had a low frustration tolerance as do most of those emotionally stunted by addiction. I felt defective and unworthy of love for my true self. Truth is, how would I know if my true self was loveable when I had no idea who she was? I didn’t know what interested me, what I wanted from life, what my purpose was or why I had not already been put out of my misery by some random (or intentional) event. For me recovery began, a little before I put down the drink. I was already working with a therapist (had been for about 6 months) and found myself a source of spiritual nurturance. Nevertheless, alcohol had consumed my life. It was my sole hobby and greatest connection to everything in my life. It was my answer to every problem and every emotion..positive or negative. Today marks the end of my first 3 months of sobriety. My first season. I have spent a lot of time here in my first season right here at SR. I have found folks I resonate with here…folks who understand. I have found a little recovery community to help support and guide me along the way. I am truly grateful for that. Books of spirituality and recovery have also been a tremendous comfort. Recovery has been pretty much my sole focus in this first season. And it has been exhausting work at times. Dealing with an ever clearer mind is hard work. Life is hard work. Dealing with people is hard work sometimes…but dealing with me is harder. Sometimes I simply get on my own nerves. Recovery overwhelms me sometimes..and that is when I have to push back a little and just sort of center and focus on what I need. Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I lonely? What is going on with ME? And sometimes I am just too damn weary to address my own discontent. I get a little scared in those moments. . All in all..I really like sobriety. I am enjoying the process of figuring my own self out…being a friend to my own self. That’s what it is for me…finally figuring out how to literally take care of myself. And in all honesty, I could NOT do that alone. I need people. I need hands to hold onto…many of whom I have found here : ) Sooooo in Season Two…I hope to crawl out of sloth and lethargy. I think I have done a whole lot of exercising in my own mind and well, it’s been exhausting. In Season Two, I hope to address the more physical side of my well being. I need to work up a sweat more. I need to slap the patch back on and wean myself off of nicotine. I need to get my diet back on track (I have been eating far too much junk food and ice cream : ) So that’s my 3 month rant. Thank you all who have been along the ride with me thus far. |
It's been great to see you do it Nuudawn :) Long may you continue :You_Rock_ Bestwishes, m |
3 months!!!:You_Rock_ Nuudawn! |
Congratulations on 3 months! :) |
A huge congrats on your 3 months of sobriety. |
Congratulations on 3 months Nuudawn! You are a daily inspiration! |
So pleased to read this Nuudawn. Many congratulations on 3 months. Your post is great, full of insight, self awareness and personal growth. Keep up the great work :c011: |
Awesome work NuuDawn. A wonderful reminder to everyone that sobriety is hard work, but hard work that is definitely worth it. Keep it up, you are worth it and your contributions here are helpful to us all. |
Atta girl ! You are a gift to all of us here and it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and inspire us. Two of my most life changing books were: Breaking Free from the Victim Trap How to Raise your Vibration Be well. |
Fantastically well done Nuudawn xx |
Originally Posted by alphaomega
(Post 4158374)
You are a gift to all of us here and it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and inspire us. Well done and so glad that you're part of my journey. Got nothing but love for ya, Nuu! Congrats! |
Congrats on 3 mnths! fantastic I like to see your name , every time I read it in the back of my head I hear the song with the line "its new dawn , a new day" the buble version I think anyways its nice Ever try the e-cig route ?, I did in Jan left analogs(paper cigs) go bye-bye, not ready yet to work on nicotine but the extremely harmful crap is at least gone. It takes a good 48-72 hours to get 'used' to them, can't cheat with analogs, but after that its all good and the old way sucks. |
Really thrilled for you - well done :c011: |
Originally Posted by alphaomega
(Post 4158374)
Two of my most life changing books were: Breaking Free from the Victim Trap How to Raise your Vibration |
Originally Posted by dwtbd
(Post 4158404)
I like to see your name , every time I read it in the back of my head I hear the song with the line "its new dawn , a new day" the buble version I think anyways its nice |
congratulations!! I always enjoy reading your posts. I can so relate to the challenges involved in getting to know yourself again....my alcoholism has left me totally unsure of who I am, and it's such an awful place to be. Again, congratulations! |
Yea!!!!!!!!! |
Wonderfully articulate as always, Nuu. Congrats on your three months. You done good! June |
Congratulations, Nuudawn! I really admire you and I very much appreciate your posts. You have helped me tremendously through your thoughtful and thought-provoking insights. I wish you much happiness as you enter Season 2. All my best, 4S |
I love your analogy of using seasons to mark your stages of recovery! :You_Rock_ |
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