Thank you.
Ok, here goes :)

Hi everyone, just wanted to say thanks so much for your welcome and support. I fell on day 3 and was drinking again, even more than before BUT I am now on day 3 again and things are going really well.
Also wanted to thank ReadyAtLast for telling me about the book Rational Recovery - it really seems to be helping. Fingers crossed I get to day 4 - at the moment no cravings and feeling positive despite having had a very rough few days at home and some health issues going on. Hope everyone is ok x

Hey seraphine welcome fellow mom here. I know the struggles very well drank the last few years away. Been sober 4 months for my kids and their mom. I know the challenges of parenting a child on the spectrum. My oldest daughter had ZERO speech for the 1st 4 years of her life. Not one word. I use to drink to escape all my fears for her future. Drink to get away from my reality. Drink to feel like I wasn't drowning. I couldn't understand why my life was so hard.

When I stopped drinking 4 months ago I had no idea how much my feelings of impending doom were alcohol induced. I drank to escape those helpless feelings. Guess what those feelings were from the alcohol. Of course I have down days but I'm so much stronger and clear to deal with them.

In addition to joining SR I recommend joining an parents of children with autism support group. It can be a rough road and you need to fill you tool box.

Glad you joined SR. It's a wonderful resource!

:c011: And keep trying and coming here where many more ideas may help you. AA is a fellowship that has worked for millions world wide and might be a healthy option also. BE WELL

Hi Seraphine! It's good to see you back at it. As you recently experienced, this behavior tends to progress to higher levels of consumption through time if we continue to drink.

Don't fret the urges to drink, they pass rather quickly. I used to time them with a stopwatch. The intense urges seldom lasted for more than a few minutes... Ten tops.

Also, you should lose weight rather quickly once you stop yor 1.5 bottles of wine habit. That is about 1,000 empty calories that you are getting per day! I'd have to run 10 miles (16km) per day just to burn that 1,000 calories.

Hang in there. Life is so much simpler once I stopped messing around with alcohol.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement!
ImperfectlyMe my son is non-verbal also. Hopefully he will get speech at some point like your daughter as he's babbling. He did have baby speech but lost it at 12 months. I'm on a brilliant autism forum. Just wish I had some friends to talk to about everything but they all ran to the hills when my depression was at its worst 7 years ago. And it's now hard to get out at all let alone to be able to make new ones! x

I'm in a power struggle with pot. Sometimes, I'm in complete control. But other times, it is in control. That's really the only relationship there is with drugs and alcohol - An internal power struggle. And we have a whole life to live. Imagine devoting so much energy our entire life to that one little battle inside our head??

I figure I went 7 days so I could smoke again. But from doing that over and over, I've learned there is something to gain beyond that point if I just don't smoke and thank God for staying sober. So now I'm on Day 8.

SR forums helps me have constant supervision to stay clean. It doesn't stop me from reading other forums though so when I get off these boards, I gotta remember what comes first. My sobriety.