Thought I'd flag up that this post was from July 2013!!

Hopefully Raspberry is doing well and hasn't proven his theory to be incorrect, he last posted last August!! :(

I was the very same way I initially and the thought filled me with complete fear too, but then I woke up to the stark fact that I don't just want too quit I simply have too, but just look at today, if you just deal with every today then tomorrow is truly yours.

"I'm enjoying the sober feeling, it's great".

Just Stop And Think About That.

Oops, just noticed. But hope he is still doing good.

It's a perennial subject. I think the thread is still good :)

D

One of the most inspiring things a poster wrote to me in my earliest days of sobriety is, "You have given 27 years to drinking, why not give sobriety a fair shot for comparison?" So that is what I did. Now, I am a smart lady, so I get that a few weeks, even a few months of sobriety, is nothing compared to 27 years, so I promised myself that I would give sobriety a month, in the beginning. I liked that month so well, that I said, "okay, how about three months to really start seeing a fair comparison?" At three months, I felt wonderful and I didn't want to throw away what I achieved, so I told myself six months and then re-evaluate. I am almost at 8 months sober and a year sober doesn't seem all that daunting. In fact, sober for life, seems more and more plausible, every day sober that I have under my belt. So, yes, in the beginning, if it is easier to set small goals, than I say go for it. It worked for me!

Just for Today

Realise this is an old post, but it shows how a lot of people start threads on one issue, but deep down it's another.

Early sobriety can be an emotional time, but all of us have our hiccups along the way, whether being long term Sober or not. Some days we struggle, some we don't.

Sometimes I'd read posts early on and some posters would annoy me....just generally...but some of those posters are now people I look to as very insightful.

Fundamental to our alcoholism, we don't want to deal with bad stuff, we are emotionally immature - I understand now that's why I got upset on some posts.

The problem with me is that I have this allergic type reaction to alcohol. Every time I drank, I lost control. A couple of drinks always turned into a bender.

For this reason I can never safely ingest alcohol. It is poison to me.

Here's the rub though. I didn't know how to live without it. Sobriety in my experience was horrible. That's why I didnt like the idea of never drinking again. Alcohol was my only relief from sobriety (life).

I had to find a different way to live. When I did that, alcohol lost all it's power.

The Insanity Of Denial
 

In spite of my heavy drinking for many, many
years, if you had asked me if I was an alcoholic
two weeks ago, I would have told you something like this:


" I'm not an alcoholic, I like my beer, I stay
home when I drink and I don't bother anybody".

Ya, Right! Toward the end I was up to 18-20
cans of beer and drank every single night.
Then I started drinking in the mornings too,
I have never done that before.
In my denial, I actually thought of myself
as a moderate drinker. I was lying to myself.

After a very bad withdraw episode, it scared
me to death and I sought help through detox.
Today I can tell you, yes I am an alcoholic, there
is no doubt whatsoever and I know I cannot ever
drink again. Does that disturb me? I would be
lying if I said no. My disease had progressed
to a point where I doubt if would have survived
another year and I am no spring chicken.

I chose life. I am sober today.

Boy is the one day at a time the truth. Nearly three years ago when I started my attempts at sobriety, I was so worried about the things to come - weddings, Christmas gatherings, vacations. I spent more time thinking about "what am I going to do", instead of just enjoying each day that was given to me. Those days stringing together leading to those events are what makes a person stronger to handle them. To learn from others, to read, to understand, to have a plan. Not to spend those days agonizing of what will I do.

I'm still in my "youth" of sobriety, as I'm finally on track with a better method. It will be 6 weeks this coming weekend. Wanting it and working at it makes a big difference. And do I think about "forever" any more, I do not. I think about today. AA and SRF has taught me this. And no one ever "told" me I had to do it, I had to want to do it, and then had to open my heart and my mind to suggestions and apply what works and discard what doesn't.

Great old thread! Makes one think.

Yep. sign on my wall reads: "Do the next Right thing, one day at a time."

Next thing, next moment if necessary. Whatever works.

Raspberry, it's your journey and you have to pull leaves off many different trees in order to make your own. I will be 90 days tomorrow and the thought of never drinking again makes me want to cry! It freaks me out, scares me and truly saddens me. I am trying to appreciate what I am accomplishing every day, I am LOVING not seeing 3.30 am every night when the wine starts to wear off. I love remembering everything and laughing with my kids. The list goes on and on. Newbie or not, the battle rages on.....you have begun, that's what counts. I don't think people here are trying to tell you what to do, rather express what has worked for them. If you have picked up the bag and started walking, then keep taking steps! You can do it.

Im pretty sure everyone here knows if you want to quit you will, for health reasons or when you've had enough, and not because someone here told you to.

The purpose of this forum is to help you, so people probably post stuff like that to let you know that you can quit and and its not impossible. Many of us have done it, when we ourselves felt at a time that maybe it was not an option to quit.

Many here have been thru worse than what you have too.

yeah... I used to think that too. Still do sometimes.

I can tell you though after being a newcomer numerous times and after over a decade of considerations that maybe I had 'an alcohol problem', eventually I came to realize that moderation just doesn't seem to work for me.

A lot of others have made that journey as well. Their advice which may sound like "quit for good" even when delivered as "one day at a time" - comes from the place of their experience. They know very well that those who aren't yet there may eventually get there. For those, the "quit for good" is a placeholder that embeds itself into the psyche and floats to the surface with each new hangover and failure.

Advice like "ahh, it's ok. It's a process. Just do it whenever" wouldn't be as effective. It would offer comfort, excuses... but long-timers who have been down that road know that is not what these folks really most need.

Others are 'newcomers' at a time they're ready to hear the message... "quit for good" is clear and honest and they are standing at a potential turning point. Hearing anything less than "quit for good" may send them off in the direction of their AV for another ten years - or right into the grave.

For these, anything less than the message 'quit for good' is a disservice.

If you're annoyed by "quit for good" - it might be that you're still wrestling hard against acceptance. I get that. Pretty sure everyone here gets that.

But if quitting for good weren't the absolute best thing for you, well, you probably wouldnt be here in the first place.

:ring

Purpleknight thank you for flagging this back up, it popped into my email and I have reactivated my account. I started drinking again but I have now been AF again for 9 days but Im struggling then I had an email because I had liked the post last year. I had a one to one assessment last Monday and Ive been offered counselling once a week which is brilliant but Its so helpful to belong to a group of like minded people who know and feel what is like to be addicted to alcohol , THANK YOU

welcome back aw58 :)

D

Suppose it's different for everyone , stopping for ever and knowing that I am done with alcoHELL forever for me is one of the most liberating aspects of being sober , the immense freedom from it. Never ever wAnt to go back to that life , ever.

Sry Raspberry but it IS wisest to quit alltogether.
The fact you can't face this right now is proof you do have a drinkingproblem and you need to fix it.
Only way to fix an addiction is quitting 100% for starters.
I've never met an addict who succeeded in moderation.

I wish I could say this in a nicer fashion, but there isn't .

One day at a time.