So I planned a relapse
 

and I am not going to go through with it, but I just wanted to share how CRAZY I am. I wanted a bottle of GOOD chianti and the house to myself.

I had it all planned. Except the part afterwards and how crappy I would feel and how 8.5 months would be down the drain. FOR WHAT?

Do you think I would come here and tell you how wonderful it was? No.

I am not relapsing. I went to a meeting and told on myself. I almost feel like a deserve a white chip or something for being so devious.

Thanks for sharing. Glad you made a good decision. It's so not worth it :((. Stay strong.

Way to make a better choice!!!

That's awesome. I planned my last binge several weeks out. Started thinking about it as soon as I knew my wife was gone for the weekend. Kept telling myself I could always turn it around at the last minute and NOT drink. Debating and debating and debating in my head. I drank.

I am in awe that you made the right decision. I will follow the path you have blazed next time. :)

good on ya for playin the movie through. I have yet to read on here or hear at meetings that drinkin again was awesome.

whats chianti? sounds like a brand of water.

I really glad to read how that ended Elizabeth :)

D

Great post. I thought of slipping a couple of weeks ago when I was throwing an internal temper tantrum, but like you, I remembered how I feel the day after and it sucks. So luck SR members got to hear my life history and it helped kick the AV in the butt.

Best Wishes and just keep remembering the awful side effects of withdrawl - physically and mentally.

Good for you for fighting off that demon!!! :c029:

Now stop talking about Chianti, it (was) my favorite!!!!! AHHHHH.

Day 14. Here we go!

Well done for pulling back Elisabeth!

I guess none of us want many last-minute escapes like that, but it's still really good that when it came down to it - you didn't drink.

You mustn't feel like you deserve a white chip. You had a serious battle with your addiction, but you won out and that's what matters. While it's worth thinking about how you might avoid those chain of thoughts again, you should still feel really pleased with yourself that you battled a severe craving and won out.

Good job, Elizabeth!

Was there something happening in your life that made you feel like drinking was an option at that point?

Well done! I don't think any of my relapses weren't planned. Took me a long time to spot it happening and stop it before it got too big to stop.

Remember what ya did -it's a very good lesson.

Really happy you saw it and could get in front of it! Great job! You inspire!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you for this.

You've made me fully understand the scope of my AV.

I have a vacation coming up. I'm going to Fenway. Planning not to drink, but every day consciously telling myself that because every day I think about what peanuts, one of the good 10 dollar beers they sell there, and watching the Sox are like all together. There will be wine around on this vacation. Good wine. Chianti- good chianti. (TomSteve, it's wine, but that made me LOL!!!!) No, won't do it. I've kind of warned people too. Like, I'm DRIVING to Fenway on purpose- told my friend I'm driving so she can have a beer. (she's one of those enraging humans who drinks "a beer".) She's very concerned about Drinking and Driving and she is ALWAYS the DD by default around me because I ALWAYS get hammered. She probably doesn't even believe me, I'm surprised she's agreed to go in the car with me. Covered? Yeah. But then.... there's this other, more secret, thought. I COULD do this whole vaca sober, and sneak off for some alone time, just me, the river, the sunshine, and a six pack.

Here I am, telling you, it's popped up a couple times. I shoot it down, but it has popped up.

Thanks for creating the space with telling your story.... where I can see this in me for what it is.

Great job Elizabeth! I have to admit that I was scared for you when I opened your post, but so happy that I see you fought threw it!

Good for you Elisabeth! I hope I can be as strong as you are!
:You_Rock_

I feel there are several exit ramps out of a slippery situation should we wish to take them .
I'm glad you found one and took it . I think being honest with ourselves about such behaviour is the start of something glorious , to then share that is the bees' knees ;)

:You_Rock_

Bestwishes, M

Happy you shared the experience and hopefully it will provide strength for a lasting sober journey for yourself and others.

Congratulations on not taking that first drink.

What does your sponsor say about your situation?

Brilliant job Elizabeth

I wish I'd your strength, I blew 5 months last weekend.

Stay safe

I was lying on the beach on vacation!!!!