SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

The Morning

What gets me out of bed in the morning?

Less than 2 years ago I had a seizure due to quitting benzos and methadone cold turkey.

I ended up in a psych ward for 32 days total. I was delusional, barking like a dog, running the halls naked and thought my son was the Messiah.

When I got out I fell into a deep, deep chronic depression and I stopped eating for 2 months and lost 80 lbs. I was malnourished and my body shut down.

I lost all use of my arms and legs and speech and ended up in a hospital for 2 weeks and then a nursing home for 2 months in a diaper and on a feeding tube. I was inside looking outside and completely helpless and totally hopeless. I was just numb almost catatonic.

I could not do the simplest things that I took for granted. Brush my teeth, shower, go to the bathroom, walk, bring a spoon to my mouth.

I was given an opportunity to see life from a whole new perspective. One from an invalid's perspective.

By some miracle of God I was healed when doctors thought I would be in a mental institution for the rest of my life.

Today what gets me out of bed is knowing I don't have it so bad. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself today or complain that I have it bad, I think about how very grateful I am to beable to itch my nose. I am a miracle.

Would you believe I didn't have this revelation right away. In fact I continued to drink and drug after that and was still quite depressed. My alcoholism/addiction had finally run it's course. I was done. There was nothing left out there for me if I continued to use. Jail 7 times, 5 detoxes, 4 treatment centers, 5 psych wards, 3 DUI"S and a nursing home. I had 2 choices left. Kill myself or get help. I tried to kill myself, tried to down a whole bottle of trazadone. I didn't succeed. I wasn't happy about it at the time. Now I had just one choice left. Get help.

I went into detox. Best thing I ever did. Today I am happy because God had other plans for me, he is using my story to reach others.
I speak at detox now, the same one I was in and in a few months will be going into the jail I was in 7 times.

I will also be going into the same psych ward I was in to share hope on my climb out of depression.

So if you think your life is not worth anything. Think again. I wouldn't be the person I am if I did not go through all that and I am really ok today and you are too!