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Old 05-23-2013, 08:29 PM
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Newcomers anything is possible!

The Morning

What gets me out of bed in the morning?

Less than 2 years ago I had a seizure due to quitting benzos and methadone cold turkey.

I ended up in a psych ward for 32 days total. I was delusional, barking like a dog, running the halls naked and thought my son was the Messiah.

When I got out I fell into a deep, deep chronic depression and I stopped eating for 2 months and lost 80 lbs. I was malnourished and my body shut down.

I lost all use of my arms and legs and speech and ended up in a hospital for 2 weeks and then a nursing home for 2 months in a diaper and on a feeding tube. I was inside looking outside and completely helpless and totally hopeless. I was just numb almost catatonic.

I could not do the simplest things that I took for granted. Brush my teeth, shower, go to the bathroom, walk, bring a spoon to my mouth.

I was given an opportunity to see life from a whole new perspective. One from an invalid's perspective.

By some miracle of God I was healed when doctors thought I would be in a mental institution for the rest of my life.

Today what gets me out of bed is knowing I don't have it so bad. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself today or complain that I have it bad, I think about how very grateful I am to beable to itch my nose. I am a miracle.

Would you believe I didn't have this revelation right away. In fact I continued to drink and drug after that and was still quite depressed. My alcoholism/addiction had finally run it's course. I was done. There was nothing left out there for me if I continued to use. Jail 7 times, 5 detoxes, 4 treatment centers, 5 psych wards, 3 DUI"S and a nursing home. I had 2 choices left. Kill myself or get help. I tried to kill myself, tried to down a whole bottle of trazadone. I didn't succeed. I wasn't happy about it at the time. Now I had just one choice left. Get help.

I went into detox. Best thing I ever did. Today I am happy because God had other plans for me, he is using my story to reach others.
I speak at detox now, the same one I was in and in a few months will be going into the jail I was in 7 times.

I will also be going into the same psych ward I was in to share hope on my climb out of depression.

So if you think your life is not worth anything. Think again. I wouldn't be the person I am if I did not go through all that and I am really ok today and you are too!
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:36 PM
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Thank you for sharing your story Deeker, Your an huge inspiration!
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:36 PM
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Thanks, deek.
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:18 PM
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Originally Posted by deeker View Post

I am a miracle.
No truer words have been spoken, Deek.

Glad you and God worked that out last time because you are truly an inspiration for so many of us here. Thank you for sticking around

Love, love ya!
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:30 PM
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prolly gonna feel a lil different goin into tat jail now.:rotfxko
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Old 05-23-2013, 10:36 PM
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Thank you for sharing.
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Old 05-24-2013, 03:28 AM
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Thanks for sharing Deek! Your honesty and hopefulness always help me.
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