is there something wrong with me? please help
 

good to see everyone has stuff to do this holiday weekend, unfortunately for myself i have no real friends so i sit home all the time. there really isnt anything to do here where i live, all the events are booze driven so why bother going alone with the temptation. i know that it sounds like i am being a whine azz or whatever but i am telling the truth. there are things right now that i am not comfortable with and AA/NA is one of them. i dont like being around those people and i never have. 21 years i have been in and out of treatment and those meetings and 21 years i have never liked them. is there something wrong with me?

Legend - not to sound callous, but you live in NY - there are multitudes of things you could do that don't involve alcohol. Heck, I live in a a small town in northern wisconsin and there are plenty of things to do even here not involving alcohol. Take a walk, go to the library, go to a sporting event, concert, art fair, church, the list is nearly endless.

I think the most important thing is that you need to make a choice to start getting better. It's always easier to find an excuse to NOT do something than to take the first step and actually do it.

Legend 21 years is a long time, so you don't like aa/na, well move on. AA/na is not the only option for you to get and stay sober. :egypt:

Hey you!!! Did somebody pin a pink bow to your butt??? (Eore reference) ;-)

I spend a lot of time alone too. I enjoy it, but sometimes I get lonely. I get bored too. Everybody does! I always remind myself "if I'm bored, it's because I'm being boring." So what kinds of things do you enjoy, besides drinking?

Art, music, hiking, fishing, building, reading, going for a drive, sunshine and fresh air etc...? There is SO much more out there to enjoy. That voice that tells you it all revolves around alcohol, is a liar! Maybe you can make a list of things you can enjoy without alcohol? Maybe the other members here can help you with that! x

Not everyone feels comfortable at meetings. There's nothing wrong with you.

Not finding something to do, though - that can easily be fixed.

Pick flowers
plant flowers
do a crossword
tidy up computer files
paint something
clean under the fridge (yuck!)
feed the cats at the animal shelter
pick up litter on your street
fold your laundry
fold MY laundry ;)
watch a movie
start a blog
clean the gutters
call someone you haven't spoken to in a while
sell something on ebay
take some old clothes to the Salvation Army
..........

Seems like you're the only one stuck on AA, as the only option. There are numerous other Recovery Programs to check out.

It's also your choice to sit at home and feel badly. Lot's of members live alone, eat alone, have no friends to socialize with. Why not help others? Go volunteer somewhere, you'll meet new people and perhaps pick your spirits up.

This is a long weekend, I'm sure the Pet Shelters are desperate for help. Meals on Wheels deliver everyday, they could use a helping hand.

I know I had to look in the mirror at my reflection...dig deep and make some changes.

Best Wishes To You!

Hey Legend

Have you thought of taking up a new interest - an evening class in something, a musical instrument, a sport, an area of study that interests you, cycling...

If AA isn't for you have you explored other options?

God bless +

I'm not sure what you mean by in and out of AA. Have you gone to a few meetings and left? Have you gone to meetings several times a week for a month and not connected? Did you ever try getting a sponsor? Did you hang out for fellowship before or after the meetings? I didn't like AA at first either. My ego encouraged me to only spot the difference i had with the people, not the similarities. I finally found a group i didn't totally hate and i started attending meetings there many times a week. It took a month or so but i started to enjoy the meetings and like the people i kept seeing. Is there something wrong with you? Probably not. But perhaps you should look at yourself and figure out why you don't like being around sober alcoholics. Like i said, i have to check my ego at the door and not get wrapped up in disliking people at meetings. I sure don't like everyone but i'm not expected to and that's fine.

i have no idea why i posted this, can someone remove it for me please....

We all have something wrong with us. But we come here to address one thing: Substance abuse. If you are stuggling with alcohol we can suggest some things.

If you quit, you might find a lot of your other issues disappear. How can we help you get sober?

Don't worry about it. Nobody here judges.

:usa2:
Happy Memorial Day weekend!

ive been sober 46 days, i see and goto groups at a mental health office. i also goto a outpatient alcohol office as well 2 times a week. so i am sober and i use that for right now. i know there has to be a replacement somewhere down the road so thats why i was asking for help. i see there was plenty of advice here and i feel there was plenty of tough love too. i will find whatever works for me, i cant sit here all the time. i will find things to do for myself because i realize that if you depend on others all the time you will become dependent on them. i am going to be independent form now on, thanks for the enlightenment i appreciate it.

Just to clarify Legend - you are looking for an alternative to the mental health counselling and outpatient treatment, or something in addition to those? Just want to make sure we understand what you are asking for.

cmon,mnow, without posting it, ya wouldn get some input.

im in AA and i'll even say theres nothing wrong with you for not liking it. AA even says it isnt or everyone. i am sure there are other recovery methods meeting in NY,too.
now, on to what to do this weekend:
i am sure there are many charitable organizations you could donate yer time to help out at this weekend. i am willin t bet it would do ya good to get out there and help someone else.
or...,head out this way and you can help do some much needed yardwork!:rotfxko

mnow....new word! there something you can do: make up new words and definitions for em!!

Legend, 46 days sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. That's what I'm talkin about. :egypt:

Hi Legend,

We don't remove posts, except in an emergency situation.

As everyone has said, there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself. The world is full of things to do, so enjoy your weekend.

when those groups and personal therapy sessions are over i was thinking i might need some contact with somebody. then again maybe i wont need it because i have other goals that i am working on. i know i need to keep myself busy, and that is very easy around here. plenty of old messes and trash to be cleaned up after my 4 1/2 years of drunken darkness

Sounds like you're doing a lot of work! Some therapists have more of a life coaching style, which can be really helpful when trying to meet goals and establish new routines. It's more about the day to day, rather than than the depths of your soul kind of therapy. Not sure if that's what your current personal therapy is focused on. Just something more to consider.

And sorry about the bow on your butt comment. It may have come across as insensitive. Sometimes I think I'm funny. :-/

no worries there at all, sometimes i need some tough love to motivate me and trust me i needed it. i know many might see this as a negative but for me its a positive, anger motivates me to do things i wouldnt normally do.