You have support tho - there's a ton of it here. You can find more too - AA, SMART, or any of the other recovery methods.

It's sad when our partners can't or won't support us, but it's something a lot of people here deal with, and still manage to stay sober.

Don't let this derail you - follow through on whatever calls you've been making for your recovery...if nothing else your kids deserve at least one sober parent, noexcuse.

D

Sorry that your husband was laid off, and that you are feeling he doesn't support you. Dee is right, you have lots of support on here and sounds like you have pretty amazing kids who love spending time with their mom.

Hope you are feeling better physically and emotionally.
:)

So how is your brain doing? I went through these same symptoms several times. Each time I thought I was going to get hit by a car trying to cross the street.

I too am afraid of the system and normal treatment. I've been through intensive OP. I know my brain is lacking vitamins and my pancreas is probably screaming at me.

I try to do it underground by slamming grandpa shakes and hippie juice which is packed with b vitamins. I just learned today sugary drinks hurt the liver even more. They screw up your bowel as well.

It's very difficult to stop when you feel like total crap and you know one drink will make you somewhat functional. The trick is to keep the brain working, at least somewhat.

If you have all these symptoms and feel nausea it seems hopeless. I would love to have an IV stuck in me for a couple of weeks and have nurse attention but I have to kick it up and get active again. Let's hope and pray for both of us.

Oh I forgot, bland food. Celery and chicken salad or egg salad work well.

Day 4, survived the night
 

Well, I got through last night without drinking right alongside my husband. I can't count how many times I just said screw it and caved because he was drinking. He's not very nice when he's drinking, and somehow I've convinced myself that if I drink, either I won't be bothered by his comments/attitude or I'll at least be drinking part of his stash so he won't get quite so bad. Stupid rationalizations. Last night I focused on how bad it smelled...how he didn't pay attention to the kids...how he was drunk dialing...how he was talking to me....and it all made me realize how much I did NOT want to act like that. It hurts to watch it and live in it, but it's not worth numbing it out and acting exactly the same. Besides, he's had to watch me act like that a lot more than I've had to watch him.

I'm definitely feeling a lot less foggy. Sleep is still elusive, but coffee takes off most of the grogginess. I've also been really trying to eat better, too - I drank most of my calories before. Like seriously, almost ALL of my calories came from booze and whatever I was mixing it with (if my mixer even had any calories). Now I'm on a banana/veggie/whole grain/protein laden diet, and I really think my body is thanking me.

Slowly, slowly, taking it easy. Living in the moment, breathing in the scents, noticing my space. Proceeding with caution.

Got my BAC device tucked securely in my purse and I can officially drive again. I'm surprised how quickly that month went by. The device is certainly an inconvenience, as I'm sure is the intent, but it's better than scrambling for a ride everywhere that I go.

I'm sure that this statement may cause some controversy, but, to be honest, I don't think I would object if having these installed in cars was a requirement, not just a penalty for getting a DUI. Would have saved me from potentially hurting a lot of innocent people out there over the years. I am seriously, seriously lucky that it never happened.