SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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- - Hopeless (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/294096-hopeless.html)

I have been "trying" to get sober for over 10 years, I have never actually stuck with anything. I am desperate, I don't drink every day in fact, I usually go a week or so not drinking and feel amazing, and then for some reason I decide to drink and I absolutely can not stop, and then I will drink the next day to feel better and again not stop, and then I fall into a horrible depression because of the guilt, which is of course where I am at right now. I just want to break this horrible cycle, I feel on top of the world when I am sober, but it never lasts, and then I drink and I feel like I am the biggest loser that ever walked the earth. I just feel so incredibly sad and hopeless. my whole family is suffering especially my children, I am the best mom when i am sober and when I drink I am the worst mom, its disgusting. Because of the kids I cannot find a way to go to meetings, I cannot find any with babysitting in my area (Buffalo, NY). Any advice?

Hi strugglingMaMa

I'm not in AA but I'm sure our members who are will have suggestions :)

I found just being on SR helped - I hope it can help you too. I recommend you join a group thread like our May thread, for more support.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2013-a-9.html

D

Welcome and there is always hope.

I have used SR as my lifeline for many years.

Others may have suggestions re AA.

You're here and asking for help that's a first step. Come back and share. You're pattern of drinking is a lot like mine. Plus I have difficulty getting around because I lost my license. I can relate. If you need to feel free to PM me. Take care and hang in there. It's not easy but worth the effort.

Hopeless? No such thing. If there's hope for a drunk like me, there's hope for everyone. Even though I've got back on the sobriety wagon and am much better for it.

AA is excellent as is this board. If you're interested, got to AA and seek out the old timers who've done it for 20 or more years. They'll tell you about slip ups they had along the way. Great place to learn and share.

Went to a meeting

Well I explained to my Boss my situation and he allowed me to go to a meeting on my lunch break, it was the first meeting I have been to in almost 4 years, and it was amazing. i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me, and I teared up throughout the entire meeting because it was very emotional, but I feel so good and i pray that I can stick with the program and find a way to meetings no matter what it takes, because i want what they have, I really really do. Trying to quit by myself isn't working, I need support and I know where to get it.

:welcome I'm glad your boss let you go on your lunch break.:) You'll find a lot of support here too. And we're always open.:) There's someone online at all hours of the day and night.

Glad you joined us. :hug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrugglingMaMa (Post 3957541)

I have been "trying" to get sober for over 10 years, I have never actually stuck with anything. I am desperate, I don't drink every day in fact, I usually go a week or so not drinking and feel amazing, and then for some reason I decide to drink and I absolutely can not stop, and then I will drink the next day to feel better and again not stop, and then I fall into a horrible depression because of the guilt, which is of course where I am at right now.9 I just want to break this horrible cycle, I feel on top of the world when I am sober, but it never lasts, and then I drink and I feel like I am the biggest loser that ever walked the earth. I just feel so incredibly sad and hopeless. my whole family is suffering especially my children, I am the best mom when i am sober and when I drink I am the worst mom, its disgusting. Because of the kids I cannot find a way to go to meetings, I cannot find any with babysitting in my area (Buffalo, NY). Any advice?

It sounds like it may be time to stick to something.

The folks at AA will be able to help you straighten out your priorities and get to meetings regularly if you want to.

All the best.

Bob R

struggling hay i was alot like you, i did not drink every day, but when i did, i drank way too much. but i finally gained control and been sober for 25 weeks now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrugglingMaMa (Post 3957541)

Any advice?

Be Hopeful, there are a lot of smart people here who know what it's like, and how to fix it.

Pleased to meet you, Struggling! It sounds like you're ready to get free of that toxic stuff - you sure don't need it in your life. It's bringing you nothing but misery. We're glad to have you here - you can do this! :)