Thank you for all of the encouraging words. I feel somewhat relieved just to finally admit that I have this problem. I've heard that the first step to recovery is admitting that I have a problem, and now that I've done that I can at least start working on bettering myself. For myself and everything in my life that deserves my sober attention. |
Originally Posted by lirrlls
(Post 3897695)
Hello UnseenLight, Congratulations on your choice for the journey of sobriety! I understand how you are feeling. Today is my Day 1 and I took myself to my first voluntary AA meeting with the acceptance that I am an alcoholic. Like you, I spent many years telling myself I just needed a break or I could control myself with a "drink limit." I've now outwardly admitted this is not true. I lose all control after that first drink. It feels nice to know I'm not alone in the start of my journey. Thank you. |
Hi UnseenLight. I somehow missed your post last night. :) I'm so glad you feel that SR will be helpful. I loved it right away, and it was so important to not feel alone anymore. Up until I came here, I'd struggled all by myself since no one had any sympathy or understanding for what I was going through. You sound ready to get free of the hold alcohol has on you. It feel so good to finally be rid of it and begin to live with a clear head. I can't believe I ever thought it was a way to cope. We're happy to have you here - congratulations on making this life changing decision. |
Originally Posted by Hevyn
(Post 3897744)
Hi UnseenLight. I somehow missed your post last night. :) I'm so glad you feel that SR will be helpful. I loved it right away, and it was so important to not feel alone anymore. Up until I came here, I'd struggled all by myself since no one had any sympathy or understanding for what I was going through. You sound ready to get free of the hold alcohol has on you. It feel so good to finally be rid of it and begin to live with a clear head. I can't believe I ever thought it was a way to cope. We're happy to have you here - congratulations on making this life changing decision. |
Well I just got home from work and thought I'd see how you were doing. Day 2 brother! Alright man! Looks like you started cleaning up. I neglected to mention that while I was " digging out " aka cleaning my house it kept my hands and my thoughts occupied so it really helped during those first few crucial days. I'm really pulling for you man. You sound so much like me and I wish that I could just show you how much my situation was like yours. Just want you to know that when you start to question things or doubt that you can make it I did the same thing. You got this! I'm gonna keep popping in and seeing how you are doing. |
Originally Posted by Hefner
(Post 3898133)
Well I just got home from work and thought I'd see how you were doing. Day 2 brother! Alright man! Looks like you started cleaning up. I neglected to mention that while I was " digging out " aka cleaning my house it kept my hands and my thoughts occupied so it really helped during those first few crucial days. I'm really pulling for you man. You sound so much like me and I wish that I could just show you how much my situation was like yours. Just want you to know that when you start to question things or doubt that you can make it I did the same thing. You got this! I'm gonna keep popping in and seeing how you are doing. |
Just starting day 3 today! My sleep last night was even worse than the night before. I found myself sleeping for about 2 hours then I was either wide awake or in some kind of weird dozing off stage where the clock read about 20 minutes later than the last time I looked. That continued until I had to drag myself out of bed. Despite that, I don't feel too exhausted or anything but I have a feeling that will hit me sometime this afternoon. I'll avoid a nap after school and try to save it all up and hopefully get a good night of sleep. Thankfully though, that's the only thing that hasn't improved so far. I think it's going to be a good day. |
Originally Posted by UnseenLight
(Post 3898721)
Just starting day 3 today! My sleep last night was even worse than the night before. I found myself sleeping for about 2 hours then I was either wide awake or in some kind of weird dozing off stage where the clock read about 20 minutes later than the last time I looked. That continued until I had to drag myself out of bed. Despite that, I don't feel too exhausted or anything but I have a feeling that will hit me sometime this afternoon. I'll avoid a nap after school and try to save it all up and hopefully get a good night of sleep. Thankfully though, that's the only thing that hasn't improved so far. I think it's going to be a good day. |
UnseenLight, your post(s) have really gotten to my soul. A bit about me: I have been trying to accept the idea of being "an alcoholic" for a long time now (since 1974 exactly) and in that time I have had: 13 years sober then 1-1-1 more or less, then 21) and I STILL DRANK AGAIN!! Back to 2 months, but I am so very grateful for all those sober years! At least I built a life. Going back to drinking is to get "reverse boy scout badges". You do all the "gets": 2 DWIs, Numerous almost losing family, lots of bad decisions,...all crammed into those few years of drinking. Logic would tell you to stay sober, right? But logic plays no part in this, With the first drink, you have triggered a chemical, biological process which tells you: "One more won't hurt" and so on. You are far from unique. You have a dis-ease (I have never been able to stomach the disease idea) but coming from the world of science, I CAN tell you that the same thing that lets you get out of bed in the morning and walk without thinking is the same thing that is now a "learned" pathway in your brain that says: "HEY, I know this route- take one and keep on drinking." BUT, this "learned" behavior, exacerbated by a predilection to alcohol, will lead you to a place (think death) that you do not want to be. ...so... Congratulations on Day 3!! Beware, this is a daily (not battle) but reprieve.Treat it thus. Hello Pamel!! Read what you wrote LOL, Pamel |
UnseenLight, yes the sleep issues during the first few weeks…very normal. Try to take that afternoon nap instead of holding off until evening; it will help to recharge your body and brain. Sleep is so erratic in early recovery, there is no guarantee that it will come when you are ready, so do nap when you can. It sounds like you have a good plan in place to lead you to a happy and fulfilling future! You can do this, one day at a time! |
Originally Posted by UnseenLight
(Post 3898699)
...I still have some empties, but they're rinsed out and put in their boxes. I'm sneaking them out at random times to try to avoid any judgement from the neighbors but they'll all be gone soon enough.... As far as posting goes, don't limit yourself to a few days or weeks of posting. This is SR. You can post everyday for the rest of your life if that helps you. The posts you make help others as well, like myself. |
Good job man! Day 3. Once you get that sleep under control why don't you try and get up before sunrise and head down to the beach. You live in Hawaii for Pete's sakes! Not gonna get spiritual on you, I haven't been to Church in years, but I do pray every night and thank God for my sobriety. I work in Aviation and am often able to catch spectacular sunsets. I try and take a moment to witness just how beautiful it really is. I also reflect on my life and how positive it has become again. Watch that Hawaiian Sunrise or Sunset. Listen to those waves crash against the shore and think about your life. Youve got a lot to be thankful for and sobriety will just be another thing that you can be proud of. Pulling for you brother! |
OH! And Juice or Koolaide! Lol. Lots and lots of Juice and or Koolaide. I choose sugar free drinks but heres my point. We get pretty use to having that bottle or glass in our hands around the house. I found that Juice or Fruit Drinks can help fill that void. I don't even drink it much anymore. I consider it kinda like taking the training wheels off of my bike. Lol. I'll say a lot of stupid things so get use to it. But DON'T be fooled into non alcoholic beer. I'm sure it's crossed your mind. I believe it is the surest way, other than trying to moderate, to relapse. When a Crack Addict is trying to get clean they don't use Crack Lite or Diet Crack do they? See my point? Plus trust me when I tell you that N.A 's just aren't Sam Adams. I did try them before I actually quit drinking, a sad attempt to " only drink at the bar and drink O'Douls at home." uh . . . . No. Hope some of this helps and remember that although no 2 stories of addiction are identical, some do hit close to home. I'm here for ya. |
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
(Post 3898728)
The sleep definitely takes time to recover, just like everything. I've gone through it twice now (quitting that is) and the first week was the worst sleepwise. Having said that, even crappy on and off sober sleep is better for you than passing out drunk and waking up hung over! Welcome to SR and best of luck on your upcoming day 3. |
Originally Posted by Pamel
(Post 3898754)
UnseenLight, your post(s) have really gotten to my soul. A bit about me: I have been trying to accept the idea of being "an alcoholic" for a long time now (since 1974 exactly) and in that time I have had: 13 years sober then 1-1-1 more or less, then 21) and I STILL DRANK AGAIN!! Back to 2 months, but I am so very grateful for all those sober years! At least I built a life. Going back to drinking is to get "reverse boy scout badges". You do all the "gets": 2 DWIs, Numerous almost losing family, lots of bad decisions,...all crammed into those few years of drinking. Logic would tell you to stay sober, right? But logic plays no part in this, With the first drink, you have triggered a chemical, biological process which tells you: "One more won't hurt" and so on. You are far from unique. You have a dis-ease (I have never been able to stomach the disease idea) but coming from the world of science, I CAN tell you that the same thing that lets you get out of bed in the morning and walk without thinking is the same thing that is now a "learned" pathway in your brain that says: "HEY, I know this route- take one and keep on drinking." BUT, this "learned" behavior, exacerbated by a predilection to alcohol, will lead you to a place (think death) that you do not want to be. ...so... Congratulations on Day 3!! Beware, this is a daily (not battle) but reprieve.Treat it thus. Hello Pamel!! Read what you wrote LOL, Pamel |
Originally Posted by Odelle
(Post 3898796)
UnseenLight, yes the sleep issues during the first few weeks…very normal. Try to take that afternoon nap instead of holding off until evening; it will help to recharge your body and brain. Sleep is so erratic in early recovery, there is no guarantee that it will come when you are ready, so do nap when you can. It sounds like you have a good plan in place to lead you to a happy and fulfilling future! You can do this, one day at a time! |
Originally Posted by veryready
(Post 3898816)
That will be a good feeling. It took me a few weeks to unload all my hidden bottles and then I still found a few. Not to mention dirty shot glasses that were scattered about. It was a great feeling once I realized that there was not a single empty stashed anywhere. As far as posting goes, don't limit yourself to a few days or weeks of posting. This is SR. You can post everyday for the rest of your life if that helps you. The posts you make help others as well, like myself. Also, I'll take your advice about the posting. Each one I write and each one I read makes me feel good so that's some good advice. Thanks. |
Originally Posted by Hefner
(Post 3899008)
Good job man! Day 3. Once you get that sleep under control why don't you try and get up before sunrise and head down to the beach. You live in Hawaii for Pete's sakes! Not gonna get spiritual on you, I haven't been to Church in years, but I do pray every night and thank God for my sobriety. I work in Aviation and am often able to catch spectacular sunsets. I try and take a moment to witness just how beautiful it really is. I also reflect on my life and how positive it has become again. Watch that Hawaiian Sunrise or Sunset. Listen to those waves crash against the shore and think about your life. Youve got a lot to be thankful for and sobriety will just be another thing that you can be proud of. Pulling for you brother! And thanks for the advice about juice and kool aid. I'm drinking a diet coke right now. I normally only drink either booze or water. I would go a few days without drinking sometimes and I would do relatively healthy things. Go hiking, eat healthy, drink water but then I go on a binge and suddenly I'm not moving from the couch and filling my face with fast food and pizza. 2 different sides, just like a coin. I was in the Army and I used to drink NA beer while I was in Iraq. We called it "near beer". And I think that would be counter productive to my sobriety too. I'll stick with my water, diet soda, and juice. Thanks again, man. Day 3 is almost over and it's been a good day. I hope your day was great too! |
Thank you for your service! |
Hi Unseen I know how you feel about a clean house and empties and mess. Tackle it one room at a time. Get the windows open, let lots of fresh air in. Boil kettles of hot water and clean with water as hot as possible. I try and do one job a day in my home so I keep on top of it. I'm sure when your surroundings are clean you will feel better. Don't worry about the sleep, it will come. Maybe try a warm milky drink on a night time, that might help. You won't die from lack of sleep. You can die from too much drink. Keep going, you are doing amazing my friend! |
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