How do you walk away from something that is 99% fun?
 

The remaining 1% is a dark and very scary place. Blacking out, vomiting, harassing women, fighting, OD'ing on amphetamines, OD'ing on alcohol, etc, etc...

I've been there. I last went there about a month ago. I'll go there again if I keep at it, not kidding myself about that anymore.

But 99% is like last night. Easter day party. Hammered and stoned but still in control. We played volleyball indoors (we were all pretty hammered and stoned). Made vague plans to go see a movie with a friend tonight, and I know that's going to turn into a pub crawl if it happens. I'm hoping he forgot the conversation (there's at least a 50-50 chance). I'd rather relax and order me some chinese, to be honest...

To be less cryptic, I relapsed last night, had an absolute blast and it's affected my resolve quite a bit. And I was pretty low on that to begin with.

The rational part of me really DOES want to walk away while it's still mostly fun, but there's another part of me that has a different agenda. Not sure how I deal with that.

The rational part tells the other part "no".

Ever caught the clap?

You're doing a lot better than me then. I can't put a number on it, but damaged relationships, wrecked fiances, stalled careers, terrible hangovers etc,etc...

By the time I threw in the towel the numbers were close to being reversed, 1% fun, 99% hell.

The numbers soon change,often without you noticing.You wake up one morning and there is no fun element anymore.I forgot when it stopped being fun at all really.When I was at 99% fun there was no way I was ready to quit.Are you sure your percentages are right? At 99% fun I never even thought I had a problem.

I walked away because the 1 percent was a view of the path I was on. Then it quickly became 5 percent. Then 15.

How far down the path do I need to go?
No further.

Once I realized I was going the wrong direction I got willing to seek the road that would go where I want to end up.

Sounds like you are not convinced yet. You say you had a blast by relapsing.

The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.

Good luck.

That's an oxymoron if ever I've seen one :)

Fallow nailed it . . .

How do you walk away from something that is 99% fun?
 

Are you being 100% honest with yourself about these numbers?

Actually, the percentages are pretty accurate. When I'm off the wagon, I drink roughly every other day and lose control about twice a year.

I know I have a problem because I don't pass out gently into that good night, so to speak. I don't recall ever losing control without it turning into an absolute train wreck.

Incidentally, the hangover express is pulling into the station as we speak.

That might be it...

Alcohol and drugs manipulated my perception of fun. It was like this:
Come home from work, drink to relax, then miss the whole relaxation point, move directly to buzzed, drunk actually, start fights with my dh or seduce him in hopes of him not realizing how wasted I would be. And at some point in there, I would talk to peeps on the phone or text people and have zero recollection of what I said. Fun? No!! Exhausting and emotionally ripping myself apart inside yes!!!!! Embarrassing yes!!!!
And on the nights I would go out with my friends, I would pre game at home, get wasted while out and never remember the ride home. Pathetic! Some times I would even pass out in the bar. Super fun.

I am hands down so happy that life is behind me. I never have to face those demons again if I don't want to. It's so freeing, and way more fun!

Check your statistics.... They seem a bit off balance. Truly whole heartedly reevaluate you fun/hell ratio. You may be surprised.

I hope that you decide to stop drinking for good.

Other posters have given good explanations, but for me the numbers eventually became reversed when I drank. And the days following a bender were 100% darkness.

For me, the vast majority of my drinking experiences were fun, nothing bad happened. But when I thought long and hard, when bad things did happen, most of the time I'd been drinking. Since I've been sober rarely do the bad things happen like: hangovers, fights, missed appointments, not remembering conversations, not being there for my family, embarrassing behavior, and on and on...

I don't believe you on the 99% part. If you add up all the bad stuff (including hangovers and the times you overeat because of drinking) I bet it adds up to more than 1%...

I reckon you are where I was about maybe 5 years ago. I didn't have many negative consequences but I knew it must be a problem because of the sheer amount I drank. Nevertheless, when I started getting uncontrollable anxiety and nerve damage from my drinking it hit me like a train. There came a point when I desperately needed to stop but found I couldn't.

You're a smart guy, maybe you should just look at this as something you should be able to do. If drinking isn't a problem for you 99% of the time then it should be no bother giving it up for say, a year? It may be fun but that doesn't mean you have to do it. Stop rationalising why you should drink and just give it up for the hell of it. Give it up before you have to x

Someguy, started out that way for me to, 99% fun, 1% dark, but those figures did reverse themselves and it took me over 40 years to hit rock bottom. In important ways I wasted a life time, I hope you don't do the same. :egypt:

Good point ru12. I think a lot of us wake up one day and realize most of the major problems in our lives had been caused by drink or drugs. Life's tough enough without creating problems for ourselves.

Quitting drinking took away a whole bunch of my major problems with one change in behavior.

I hope you can stop drinking before those number are reversed.:(

That's 1%? Hahahaha!

:e136:

Hi Someguy. Glad you want to discuss this.

I agree with the others, the '99% fun' thing will inevitably change over time. If that figure is accurate (and only you know the truth) don't expect it to stay that way for long. Over time you'll develop a tolerance to booze - it'll take more and more to achieve the desired effect, and that changes everything. I went from having a wonderful time with it to being completely dependent on it. Buzzed on a few beers, to downing a 30-pack all by myself in a day. Please be careful, you're on a dangerous path.

You can't and won't we ride this train until the wheels fall off or worse. I like that all them bad things only equate to 1% but hey that's alcoholic logic for ya....

if i were blacking out, throwing up, harassing women and fighting...uh.....i'd be desperate to do what i can to never do it again. i'd be desperate to quit.
but that's me.
no amount of "fun" would counter-balance that. it can't.

I relapsed last night, had an absolute blast and it's affected my resolve quite a bit.

your resolve was useless before the blast. that's just it. if it had done what you thought resolve would do, then you wouldn't have drunk to begin with....

as far as your question:How do you walk away from something that is 99% fun?

i'm thinking you don't.

99% of the time we don't walk away from something that's fun 99% of the time.

[QUOTE] That's just considering pure loss of control though as though everything else is 'fun'.

For me, there were many many other things which made drinking fall into the 'not fun' category. Obsession to drink,planning to drink,do I have enough drinks,cancelling plans because of drink,re-arranging, hangovers, feeling rough at work, difficulty exercising, weight gain,physical deterioration,mental impairment,fuzzy head, sickness,hangovers, bad sleep. Even on a mild basis none of these are fun. If you have none of these fair enough but if you do they are certainly no fun :)

edit-I'm not trying to convince you you have a problem of course. You know if you do or not. I just know if drinking had been 99% fun I would never have quit,hence my question about percentages. Maybe you're not ready though if you are here maybe you are? Be honest. Food for thought.

I'm of no use to answer your question. Honestly, the last time I think I had fun drinking was sometime in 1997. After that it was 15 years of pure hell.

First of all, thank you to everyone who posted. Even if I don't reply to your post specifically, I read everything that was said and I appreciate it.

Today was my fourth "day 1" of 2013. Kind of depressing.

I can relate to that. I've taken my share of questionable decisions while sober, but alcohol (and, to a lesser extent, pot) gives me a terminal case of the stupid... or the crazy, when I really go all out.

I don't know why but I don't get bad hangovers. I have an upset stomach and a slight headache right now, and that's about as bad as it ever gets for me.

I do tend to eat compulsively when I drink... but that too is fun. Short term gratification vs long term contentment and all that jazz.

You really don't have to convince me that I'm addicted to alcohol.

I may not have completely internalised the fact, but I am well aware that I am an alcoholic. After the incident at the beginning of march, with the blackout and the amphetamines and the vomiting all over my bed, I stayed sober for all of two weeks before breaking down and having a drink. And it wasn't even a month before I decided to get hammered.

No hypothesis other than addiction can explain the situation. If I need to be convinced of something, it's that I need to do something about it rather than wait and see how long my luck holds.

I have developped some tolerance, I can definitely drink more than you would expect given my size. I still get buzzed after one beer though.

I don't know if I'm desperate, but I do agree with what you're saying.

I enjoyed being a bit of a wild card back when I was 20-21, but I'm 27 now and I'm honestly quite fed up with that kind of bs, even if it only happens once or twice a year.

The thing is, when I don't lose control I either have one drink and feel content with that, or like last night I get hammered but in a responsible way and cut myself off before things get out of hand.

Apart for occasionally getting a bit depressed after a few drinks and having a hard time staying in shape, I can honestly say that I do have fun drinking...

Except when I can't stop, that is...

That's what I'm afraid of too...

I do understand that there were some things a person likes about being intoxicated. For a very long I was able to maintain a party lifestyle. Hover-ever the consequences of that kind of life left me disabled in latter life. A high price to pay for all the 'fun' times I had being loaded.

Maybe have a look at SMART Recovery® - Four Questions About My Addiction. This is a pro vs con worksheet. I think this recovery tool dose a good job of laying out the full extent of addiction in a persons life.

:) Do keep active in your new life without alcohol/drugs.

The thing that would convince me (and was one of my big motivators) was the the stuff you put in your 1% category of un-fun...is stuff that could land you in jail or worse...

it's a dangerous game of roulette. There are lots of awesomely fun things to do and see in this world. You are young enough to master a variety of skills, talents and explore new interests. Life is rich and wonderful. Get busy with it and you are liable to not much miss the "fun" of drinking because there are 1 billion other ways to have a great time.

You can use your youth and health and the fact that you currently don't have a criminal record in your favor. If you put this off you will close up SO MANY doors and still, in the end, have to sober up. Do it now and you gain many many years of power living.

I'm sorry, I don't understand your reasoning... If you are indeed convinced you an an alcoholic then why not do something about it, just pretend that the sh;t has already hit the fan. If you are struggling to stay sober now then just think how difficult it will be years down the line when you are seriously physically or mentally impaired by your drinking and life looks a lot bleaker. We don't hit a magic point where it becomes easy to quit, if anything it gets harder. I know it is hard to keep up the incentive but just pretend, stay unflinchingly sober and don't entertain your AV. I know you can do this, you're just stalling x

Not sure that I read you right ;>?

I saw it as: "99% is a dark and very scary place. Blacking out, vomiting, harassing women, fighting, OD'ing on amphetamines, OD'ing on alcohol, etc, etc..."

and "the remaining 1% is fun..."

Take care.

Hammered and stoned but still in control. this ^^.